AV wins every two months or so. tired of this.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: casablanca
Posts: 282
AV wins every two months or so. tired of this.
I feel as though I have to remind myself everyday and throughout the day that I have taken a Big Plan and restate the Big Plan to myself.
I also feel as though more is needed to keep my AV in check and not get hijacked by it.
I have had several "relapses" in the past while in AA or doing AVRT or a mixture of both. Been coming here and reading old post to keep AVRT fresh in my mind. I have heard it say here in the past that once you take the Big Plan, nothing more is needed, while that could be true for some, others may need daily "reminders" of sort such as a short crash course every now and then for the first couple of months at least.
What would you suggest to someone who has built in forgetters and after a month or two of sobriety let the AV take the better of him again. This has been going on for years. I have been at this for a long time and I am tired.
I also feel as though more is needed to keep my AV in check and not get hijacked by it.
I have had several "relapses" in the past while in AA or doing AVRT or a mixture of both. Been coming here and reading old post to keep AVRT fresh in my mind. I have heard it say here in the past that once you take the Big Plan, nothing more is needed, while that could be true for some, others may need daily "reminders" of sort such as a short crash course every now and then for the first couple of months at least.
What would you suggest to someone who has built in forgetters and after a month or two of sobriety let the AV take the better of him again. This has been going on for years. I have been at this for a long time and I am tired.
Hi Shakeel
I know very little about Rational Recovery and Big Plans.
I just know that if I'm going back to drinking, something's broke somewhere.
If you ever want more response you'll be welcome in The Newcomers forum
D
I know very little about Rational Recovery and Big Plans.
I just know that if I'm going back to drinking, something's broke somewhere.
If you ever want more response you'll be welcome in The Newcomers forum
D
For me it was, in the end, all about values. I know that sounds sanctimonious and self-righteous, but I really do believe it. I love RR and reread it again just before getting sober for good about 15 months ago. But it was the fact that I, finally, chose to value the things that I was sacrificing to booze more than the booze that got me sober.
My family, career, body, spirit, money, dreams, every single thing - were all sacrificed on the altar of alcohol for year after year. If I drink again I will sacrifice them again. No thank you. My life is worth more than that.
My family, career, body, spirit, money, dreams, every single thing - were all sacrificed on the altar of alcohol for year after year. If I drink again I will sacrifice them again. No thank you. My life is worth more than that.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 97
shakeel, your OP is dripping with AV. It looks like separating the AV from your own thoughts is an issue. I hope I’m not offending you, it just sounds a lot like I used to talk before I made a real Big Plan.
Have you bought the book & read it twice all the way through? Have you read all 6 parts of the AVRT threads on this site? That may be a good place to get back on track.
Also, please don’t be afraid. You have the all power inside you to quit for good, right now. You are strong, and it shows because you keep coming back trying to get this thing right.
I know this is my first post, so I’ll say that I quit for good over two years ago reading these AVRT threads & Trimpey’s book...and that’s it, nothing else. It saved my life, and I only regret not doing it sooner.
I’ll be here shakeel, and so will the others. You got this!!!
Have you bought the book & read it twice all the way through? Have you read all 6 parts of the AVRT threads on this site? That may be a good place to get back on track.
Also, please don’t be afraid. You have the all power inside you to quit for good, right now. You are strong, and it shows because you keep coming back trying to get this thing right.
I know this is my first post, so I’ll say that I quit for good over two years ago reading these AVRT threads & Trimpey’s book...and that’s it, nothing else. It saved my life, and I only regret not doing it sooner.
I’ll be here shakeel, and so will the others. You got this!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
AVRT is about more than just making a BP. It's not a magic cure. It's a thought filtering technique. In the early days of my quit, I was reaffirming my BP constantly. It was my mantra. "I never drink, I never drink, I never drink." Even to this day I have to remind myself occasionally. It's about filtering the thoughts before they reach the intensity of picking up. As soon as the thoughts start, they are recognized as AV, not YOU, and dismissed. Not replaced... simply recognize, dismiss. Letting the thoughts run rampant through your mind and doing your best to resist them is white knuckling, not AVRT. It is a learned skill.
I used AVRT, but I also used SR. I found it helpful to stay busy and distracted.
Hope you keep posting.
I used AVRT, but I also used SR. I found it helpful to stay busy and distracted.
Hope you keep posting.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Hi shakeel,
My first thought was what msl999 also said. You are not recognizing and separating from the AV. I would suggest reading the RR book if you haven't already done so, and rereading if you have. It will help you really dial in on understanding what's happening with you.
Never believe for a second that you cannot do this. Self-doubt is straight AV and is designed to keep you drinking. You can do this and you will do this! This is, after all, what YOU truly want. The key is putting a clear line of demarcation between YOU and IT and then never engaging. The engaging is what wears you down, that's why it is not recommended. It is hard to dismiss if you don't have a clear recognition and separation. Once you do, it becomes automatic to dismiss AV.
My first thought was what msl999 also said. You are not recognizing and separating from the AV. I would suggest reading the RR book if you haven't already done so, and rereading if you have. It will help you really dial in on understanding what's happening with you.
Never believe for a second that you cannot do this. Self-doubt is straight AV and is designed to keep you drinking. You can do this and you will do this! This is, after all, what YOU truly want. The key is putting a clear line of demarcation between YOU and IT and then never engaging. The engaging is what wears you down, that's why it is not recommended. It is hard to dismiss if you don't have a clear recognition and separation. Once you do, it becomes automatic to dismiss AV.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
For me it was, in the end, all about values. I know that sounds sanctimonious and self-righteous, but I really do believe it. I love RR and reread it again just before getting sober for good about 15 months ago. But it was the fact that I, finally, chose to value the things that I was sacrificing to booze more than the booze that got me sober.
My family, career, body, spirit, money, dreams, every single thing - were all sacrificed on the altar of alcohol for year after year. If I drink again I will sacrifice them again. No thank you. My life is worth more than that.
My family, career, body, spirit, money, dreams, every single thing - were all sacrificed on the altar of alcohol for year after year. If I drink again I will sacrifice them again. No thank you. My life is worth more than that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
I recommend ordering the SMART Recovery Handbook online. I believe it grew out of RR and incorporates a simplified version of AVRT (called DISARM), but also other aspects that make you think more of balanced living/mental health.
I've come to see I've been using the tools more than I realised.
I've come to see I've been using the tools more than I realised.
Hi shakeel, an AVRT purist would likely discourage this, but I'd suggest that the "something more" you might need or benefit from is regular interaction with other people who've had their own problematic experiences with addiction.
O
O
Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don't serve them tea.
Shunryu Suzuki
Shunryu Suzuki
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
This time around, I’m viewing the Beast as a Parasite instead. Thereby removing power from my AV thoughts. Parasites are weak and puny and cannot survive without the host, whereas a Beast is powerful. Just words, I know, but this new mental construct is helping me immensely.
70,000 thoughts a day, wow! We’re essentially pre-programmed.....and have to override it!
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