Need some thing to click
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Need some thing to click
Hi I have been struggling to find continuous sobriety for years have gone longish periods without but always end up drinking again. Over and over again. So fed up of it I’m tired. Now I have been going to aa for years have had more than a few sponsors have got friends in the fellowship but the programme is not working for me and I’m fed up of being told it’s my fault because I scant accept powerlessness hand it over etc. I have also done 12 step rehab. I’m at a place now that I just do not want to carry on with going to meetings I just feel it’s not working for me. On the other hand I do not want to drink again and it’s been told to me a few times that aa is my only hope arc that I have to work the programme do the steps. I feel a failure for not getting it but I just don’t. Is there a chance for me using other methods because I need something to click. I’m not even saying I won’t go meetings again because I do get the face to face element but other than that I find it all a bit dormant for me. I just want to not relapse any more I’m done I’m sick of it all and my life just not changing
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by eve123 
Hi I have been struggling to find continuous sobriety for years have gone longish periods without but always end up drinking again. Over and over again. So fed up of it I’m tired. Now I have been going to aa for years have had more than a few sponsors have got friends in the fellowship but the programme is not working for me and I’m fed up of being told it’s my fault because I scant accept powerlessness hand it over etc. I have also done 12 step rehab. I’m at a place now that I just do not want to carry on with going to meetings I just feel it’s not working for me. On the other hand I do not want to drink again and it’s been told to me a few times that aa is my only hope arc that I have to work the programme do the steps. I feel a failure for not getting it but I just don’t. Is there a chance for me using other methods because I need something to click. I’m not even saying I won’t go meetings again because I do get the face to face element but other than that I find it all a bit dormant for me. I just want to not relapse any more I’m done I’m sick of it all and my life just not changing
You don’t get addicted to a substance unless you have learned it helps you. It's time to change your thinking and change your life.
Romans 12:2 "Don't be conformed to this world, be transformed in your thinking."
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hi eve,
if you want to use a different way from what you have been doing, here is a thread about AVRT, Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ined-long.html (AVRT Explained (long))
see if you think that might be a way forward for yoyu.
Also, SMART has meetings in "real life" in many cities, as does Lifering.
if you want to use a different way from what you have been doing, here is a thread about AVRT, Addictive Voice Recognition Technique.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ined-long.html (AVRT Explained (long))
see if you think that might be a way forward for yoyu.
Also, SMART has meetings in "real life" in many cities, as does Lifering.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by eve123
Hi I have been struggling to find continuous sobriety for years...
Don’t worry. The belief that you have to struggle and work on “Continuous sobriety” is just that; a belief some people have. For me, that belief was a detriment to becoming permanently abstinent.
In the last quarter century, I’ve spent about 5 minutes “working on my recovery” and that was all at once three years ago when a prescription of hydrocodone ran out. I confronted an internal force that had been resting dormant for decades, “You’ve got to figure out how to get more hydrocodone.” I separated myself from it, shifted back and forth from feeling with it to feeling against it, and in five minutes it was over, dormant again for three years now. I really don’t mind having an Addictive Voice. It means my pleasure seeking centers are healthy and intact. The reason it’s so easy for me is because I cannot forget the pledge I made long ago: “I will never drink/drug again.” Drinking and drugging is so alien to what is necessary for everyday living even though I know that it would give much physical and psychic pleasure.
In the food arena, I spent several hours here on SR about six years ago when I finally pledged to quit eating “man made sweets”. That’s turned out really well for me healthwise. I had already used AVRT on caffeine and chocolate years earlier. That was easy. Man made sweets has a few hazy borders, but it’s not been a problem in the long run. I’ve been getting stricter about it as time passes. And on the few rare occasions I’ve mistakenly gotten a taste of a man-made-sweet? Wow, was that sickeningly sweet! It reminded me of cotton candy melting in my mouth. Even worse.
Again, don’t worry. While getting drunk over and over again is 100% your decision, the fact that “the programme is not working for” you is not your fault. You are perfectly capable of becoming a common teetotaler all by yourself. You don’t have to believe any of the various service propaganda telling you otherwise. Yes, we live in an imperfect world where people’s beliefs on and motivations for survival can alter their ideas on how to help others to the point they end up actually doing the opposite.
It is extremely common for people to become permanently abstinent all by themselves. The reason we don’t hear about it is they simply have no good reason to tell anyone but their loved ones what they just pledged to do, and they are not interested in going up against the vast forces in society that don’t want to promote, and often discourage, quick self recovery from addiction. Thankfully, this section of the SR forums, and Rational Recovery are not among those forces. The RR method of Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) makes self recovery in our imperfect society pretty easy.
I have heard from quite a few people that, in so many words, AVRT clicked for them. From where I’m standing, I can definitely see the light at the end of your tunnel, and you’re much closer to it than you might feel.
In the last quarter century, I’ve spent about 5 minutes “working on my recovery” and that was all at once three years ago when a prescription of hydrocodone ran out. I confronted an internal force that had been resting dormant for decades, “You’ve got to figure out how to get more hydrocodone.” I separated myself from it, shifted back and forth from feeling with it to feeling against it, and in five minutes it was over, dormant again for three years now. I really don’t mind having an Addictive Voice. It means my pleasure seeking centers are healthy and intact. The reason it’s so easy for me is because I cannot forget the pledge I made long ago: “I will never drink/drug again.” Drinking and drugging is so alien to what is necessary for everyday living even though I know that it would give much physical and psychic pleasure.
In the food arena, I spent several hours here on SR about six years ago when I finally pledged to quit eating “man made sweets”. That’s turned out really well for me healthwise. I had already used AVRT on caffeine and chocolate years earlier. That was easy. Man made sweets has a few hazy borders, but it’s not been a problem in the long run. I’ve been getting stricter about it as time passes. And on the few rare occasions I’ve mistakenly gotten a taste of a man-made-sweet? Wow, was that sickeningly sweet! It reminded me of cotton candy melting in my mouth. Even worse.
... have gone longish periods without but always end up drinking again. Over and over again. So fed up of it I’m tired. Now I have been going to aa for years have had more than a few sponsors have got friends in the fellowship but the programme is not working for me and I’m fed up of being told it’s my fault because I scant accept powerlessness hand it over etc.
It is extremely common for people to become permanently abstinent all by themselves. The reason we don’t hear about it is they simply have no good reason to tell anyone but their loved ones what they just pledged to do, and they are not interested in going up against the vast forces in society that don’t want to promote, and often discourage, quick self recovery from addiction. Thankfully, this section of the SR forums, and Rational Recovery are not among those forces. The RR method of Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) makes self recovery in our imperfect society pretty easy.
I have also done 12 step rehab. I’m at a place now that I just do not want to carry on with going to meetings I just feel it’s not working for me. On the other hand I do not want to drink again and it’s been told to me a few times that aa is my only hope arc that I have to work the programme do the steps. I feel a failure for not getting it but I just don’t. Is there a chance for me using other methods because I need something to click. I’m not even saying I won’t go meetings again because I do get the face to face element but other than that I find it all a bit dormant for me. I just want to not relapse any more I’m done I’m sick of it all and my life just not changing
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I learned here that the reason I crave is because I long for the euphoria that booze causes.
My brain has been permanently damaged and stopped producing natural dopamine at a level I could generate with booze.
This is my addiction.
The crave is not because I don't do something right, it is science.
I have to do things to get the dopamine. Posting, meetings, movies, exercise, etc etc etc.
Basically, anything other than drink.
I craved today. I am over 4 years without a relapse. I still crave and get anxiety. I even had a little panic attack today. It is all part of my life. It is 100x better than 4 years ago.
So today I was bored and craving a bit....so....
I put up the xmas lights.
I pulled a flat tire out of a bike i found in the trash.
I also found a stud in the wall for our new tv.
Now I am relaxing, getting ready to eat and go see a concert.
If I didn't do anything when I started craving about 3 hours ago, it would have sucked.
When I was putting up the lights and tinkering, I felt amazing. Full up dopemine. Plus I accomplished somethings. yay!
Basically, I was doing what non drinkers do when they get sick of watching tv.
I am not giving advice, I am posting for my own personal therapy. If I can help anyone that is awesome. Helping others helps me.
Thanks.
My brain has been permanently damaged and stopped producing natural dopamine at a level I could generate with booze.
This is my addiction.
The crave is not because I don't do something right, it is science.
I have to do things to get the dopamine. Posting, meetings, movies, exercise, etc etc etc.
Basically, anything other than drink.
I craved today. I am over 4 years without a relapse. I still crave and get anxiety. I even had a little panic attack today. It is all part of my life. It is 100x better than 4 years ago.
So today I was bored and craving a bit....so....
I put up the xmas lights.
I pulled a flat tire out of a bike i found in the trash.
I also found a stud in the wall for our new tv.
Now I am relaxing, getting ready to eat and go see a concert.
If I didn't do anything when I started craving about 3 hours ago, it would have sucked.
When I was putting up the lights and tinkering, I felt amazing. Full up dopemine. Plus I accomplished somethings. yay!
Basically, I was doing what non drinkers do when they get sick of watching tv.
I am not giving advice, I am posting for my own personal therapy. If I can help anyone that is awesome. Helping others helps me.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 97
eve123,
Posts like yours are the reason I joined SR. I wanted spread the good news about AVRT to people who are struggling with relapsing like I was 2.5 years ago. Perhaps my first post on SR will say it best:
I am eternally grateful for SR for guiding me to the solution that finally worked after 5 years of AA and 4 years of SMART. I can finally say with certainty that I am forever a non-drinker...and it feels good. I used to dread the holidays, especially if I had any alone time because I would almost certainly be drunk, miserable and full of regret. Now, I look forward to my alone time...life is good again.
Please feel free to post any questions you may have and we will be here to guide you to a life free of alcohol, and that fear of the “inevitable” relapse.
I’m so excited for you!!!
Posts like yours are the reason I joined SR. I wanted spread the good news about AVRT to people who are struggling with relapsing like I was 2.5 years ago. Perhaps my first post on SR will say it best:
Originally Posted by msl999
shakeel, your OP is dripping with AV. It looks like separating the AV from your own thoughts is an issue. I hope I’m not offending you, it just sounds a lot like I used to talk before I made a real Big Plan.
Have you bought the book & read it twice all the way through? Have you read all 6 parts of the AVRT threads on this site? That may be a good place to get back on track.
Also, please don’t be afraid. You have the all power inside you to quit for good, right now. You are strong, and it shows because you keep coming back trying to get this thing right.
I know this is my first post, so I’ll say that I quit for good over two years ago reading these AVRT threads & Trimpey’s book...and that’s it, nothing else. It saved my life, and I only regret not doing it sooner.
I’ll be here shakeel, and so will the others. You got this!!!
Have you bought the book & read it twice all the way through? Have you read all 6 parts of the AVRT threads on this site? That may be a good place to get back on track.
Also, please don’t be afraid. You have the all power inside you to quit for good, right now. You are strong, and it shows because you keep coming back trying to get this thing right.
I know this is my first post, so I’ll say that I quit for good over two years ago reading these AVRT threads & Trimpey’s book...and that’s it, nothing else. It saved my life, and I only regret not doing it sooner.
I’ll be here shakeel, and so will the others. You got this!!!
Please feel free to post any questions you may have and we will be here to guide you to a life free of alcohol, and that fear of the “inevitable” relapse.
I’m so excited for you!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by D122y
I learned here that the reason I crave is because I long for the euphoria that booze causes.
My brain has been permanently damaged and stopped producing natural dopamine at a level I could generate with booze.
This is my addiction.
The crave is not because I don't do something right, it is science.
I have to do things to get the dopamine. Posting, meetings, movies, exercise, etc etc etc.
Basically, anything other than drink.
I craved today. I am over 4 years without a relapse. I still crave and get anxiety. I even had a little panic attack today. It is all part of my life. It is 100x better than 4 years ago.
So today I was bored and craving a bit....so....
I put up the xmas lights.
I pulled a flat tire out of a bike i found in the trash.
I also found a stud in the wall for our new tv.
Now I am relaxing, getting ready to eat and go see a concert.
If I didn't do anything when I started craving about 3 hours ago, it would have sucked.
When I was putting up the lights and tinkering, I felt amazing. Full up dopemine. Plus I accomplished somethings. yay!
Basically, I was doing what non drinkers do when they get sick of watching tv.
I am not giving advice, I am posting for my own personal therapy. If I can help anyone that is awesome. Helping others helps me.
Thanks.
My brain has been permanently damaged and stopped producing natural dopamine at a level I could generate with booze.
This is my addiction.
The crave is not because I don't do something right, it is science.
I have to do things to get the dopamine. Posting, meetings, movies, exercise, etc etc etc.
Basically, anything other than drink.
I craved today. I am over 4 years without a relapse. I still crave and get anxiety. I even had a little panic attack today. It is all part of my life. It is 100x better than 4 years ago.
So today I was bored and craving a bit....so....
I put up the xmas lights.
I pulled a flat tire out of a bike i found in the trash.
I also found a stud in the wall for our new tv.
Now I am relaxing, getting ready to eat and go see a concert.
If I didn't do anything when I started craving about 3 hours ago, it would have sucked.
When I was putting up the lights and tinkering, I felt amazing. Full up dopemine. Plus I accomplished somethings. yay!
Basically, I was doing what non drinkers do when they get sick of watching tv.
I am not giving advice, I am posting for my own personal therapy. If I can help anyone that is awesome. Helping others helps me.
Thanks.
Do you believe that you can be happier reducing/quitting your substance use than you can be by continuing as is? When you can answer that question in the affirmative, then you can know that you will never have to feel an “uncontrollable urge” to use problematically again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Hi eve, yes, in my experience there’s a chance for you to use another method. But honestly, in my opinion, any method could work, including p posting here on SR, so long as someone finally decides that they want to put alcohol behind them.
You say AA didn’t work for you, did you work the Steps? I’m not an AA person, the Steps didn’t work for me, but have for others. I’ve stopped drinking and found my own self-will sufficient to place alcohol in my rear view window. I’m once again, content in sobriety. I had two and a half years earlier this year, but drank because of tumultuous circumstances. and I know that’s not an excuse, but those circumstances can never happen again, the people are lost forever. So I know, I’ll never drink again, and so can you.
You say AA didn’t work for you, did you work the Steps? I’m not an AA person, the Steps didn’t work for me, but have for others. I’ve stopped drinking and found my own self-will sufficient to place alcohol in my rear view window. I’m once again, content in sobriety. I had two and a half years earlier this year, but drank because of tumultuous circumstances. and I know that’s not an excuse, but those circumstances can never happen again, the people are lost forever. So I know, I’ll never drink again, and so can you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,570
Eve, welcome to this subforum. I can hear the you have a sincere desire to change ... And change is absolutely possible. Certain, even.
I learned from SR that people have gotten sober through all kinds of methods, or no method at all. After I quit five years ago, I participated in AA, got a sponsor, worked the steps. I learned a lot from that, but I really had quit alcohol before I got to AA. Later I felt that AA wasn't for me in the long run. I read all around SR and learned more about addiction, especially about AVRT, which made sense to me as a way to understand addiction and quitting.
I encourage you to hang around, keep reading... Find whatever kind of support is helpful to you. But know that it is absolutely in your power to quit and be done for good.
I learned from SR that people have gotten sober through all kinds of methods, or no method at all. After I quit five years ago, I participated in AA, got a sponsor, worked the steps. I learned a lot from that, but I really had quit alcohol before I got to AA. Later I felt that AA wasn't for me in the long run. I read all around SR and learned more about addiction, especially about AVRT, which made sense to me as a way to understand addiction and quitting.
I encourage you to hang around, keep reading... Find whatever kind of support is helpful to you. But know that it is absolutely in your power to quit and be done for good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
I'd recommend ordering the SMART Recovery Handbook - £9 online in the UK - if only to give you a different viewpoint of addiction (or addictive behaviour, as they have it). I use elements from all the major programmes in my recovery; I don't believe any one has all the answers (at least not for me). And I always remain interested in hearing about other methods/theories; I still mean to read the Freedom Model, Marc Lewis and Gabor Mate, for instance.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by CRRHCC
Dopamine does not change your mind and beliefs.
Do you believe that you can be happier reducing/quitting your substance use than you can be by continuing as is? When you can answer that question in the affirmative, then you can know that you will never have to feel an “uncontrollable urge” to use problematically again.
Do you believe that you can be happier reducing/quitting your substance use than you can be by continuing as is? When you can answer that question in the affirmative, then you can know that you will never have to feel an “uncontrollable urge” to use problematically again.
I say affirmative that I am happier quitting than using my substance. Being hopped up on booze, or any other mind altering substance, is not my idea of fun. I was addicted and blinded by the addiction.
Now no longer physically addicted, i crave. I except that I will crave for the rest of my life.
I have my health back but the av says...now you are good to drink once in a while. Who will care.
I know that just one drinking session will cause an immediate problem with my BP, sleep, immune system, and stamina. Booze is a toxin. Hence intoxicated.
Plus, booze alters my chemical balance. I don't want to do that ever again.
So, I find other ways to get dopamine.
How do you get your dopamine. Do you exercise, volunteer, teach here on sr etc.?
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Yes, I base my sobriety upon knowledge of dopamine’s role, addiction. being a normal brain process, the pursuance of higher values in place of the addiction. The Freedom Model is enlightening, but sadly, it mentioned the issue of moderation, and I remain of the view, that if ones brain has reengineered its neural pathways in pursuit of the substance, alcohol in my case, the brain cannot unlearn it.
Plus, the Freedom Model does not mention the residual “Addiction Voice” which in my experience, will call out for alcohol in the habituated fashion, after I stopped drinking, although lessening with time,
Plus, the Freedom Model does not mention the residual “Addiction Voice” which in my experience, will call out for alcohol in the habituated fashion, after I stopped drinking, although lessening with time,
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