Fusion

Sohard, my friend, I did indeed break out of Mr. AVs cult and it’s sole rationale: drinking alcohol! I’m pretty overwhelmed presently, I’m procrastinating, when I ought to be sitting down and formulating plans for action to improve my life. That said, if I do so, my AV will go into overdrive, when the hard light of day is shined on the enormity of what needs to be done.

I’ll be OK. I must reinvent myself as my own best-friend, and not my worst-enemy.

Dropsie

Tats,

What a great post, and so true!

August252015

Love that T - "my own best friend not worst enemy!" Yes!

Obladi

Good morning, Ms Tats!

I have a sneaking suspicion that you might be like me - an all or nothing kind of gal. One of my favorite descriptions of myself used to be, "If I do something, I'll do it all out, even if it's nothing." So I'm going to stick with the "all out" in regard to keeping the beast in it's cage. But for everything else, I'm taking it as it comes. I signed up for the gym - what? - 3 weeks ago? And I'm finally going for my first time today solely because a personal trainer texted me to offer my complimentary session with her.

The point is, my dear, you don't have to attack everything at once. If it helps you to make a list of what you want to accomplish, do it. If writing that plan or list is overwhelming, just think of one thing you want to accomplish today and do that.

This writing and reading and thinking (and thinking some more) and body-healing is exhausting. Give yourself credit for where you are. Don't try to swallow the whole elephant in one sitting.

xo
O

MesaMan

.
Obladi saved me a bunch of time in posting what I was gonna say.

Someone up-Thread used the germane term of 'Star Pupil'; a good one.

Irony Alert: when you're now forging ahead, and walking away from Drinking caused - in part - by the knock-on effects of doing everything to 110%, don't take on the burden of thinking you're got to work on 'Recovery' Plans all at once. Otherwise, you're exhausting yourself being the Star Pupil at - well - dealing with being a Star Pupil.

Being on down the line now, I take on much less. And, revel more easily in that which I do achieve. And, the varied Outcomes. If I don't do something to my old obsessive, Perfectionist Standards, the most amazing thing happens: the Sun still comes up tomorrow...
.

Dropsie

Mesa and O, right on.

I think a lot of this behaviour seems common amoung drinkers, at least a lot of drinkers I know.

I am in a bit of a financial pickle at the moment, which is new for me. I have decided to just keep doing the next right thing, and trust that it will be all right in the end, as dear Dee says, or if its not OK, its not the end.

Watching Dorien head towards my Miami is also unsettling to say the least. I am in Belgium, leaving my sister to take care of things. As my youngest would say, we all gotta hope harder the the European model is correct and it heads NE and misses a straight hit on the US. The pictures of the Bahamas remind me of PR.

But luckily climate change is made up.

X

Fusion

It’s amazing what one can deduce via a person’s written words. O, MM and Drops, you’ve all got me right. It’s all or nothing, perfectionism. Little Ms. Tats Star Pupil.

For instance, I’ve spent ages researching, analysing and drafting a post regarding Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz’s Four Steps for dealing with addictions, for Tetrax. But my brain is so fuzzy, presently, that I perceive my attempt as inadequate. So my AV/Inner Critic beats me up, for the fact I promised Tetrax I’d post, but failed to do so. Which is crazy, because it’s the same Inner Critic that criticised my draft to Tetrax, for being inadequate.

Plus the major life problems, that need at least a modicum of effort to deal with. I haven’t even begun, because I perceive I shan’t achieve a perfect outcome; my mind is clouded with ‘why bother’.

And I WANT to address EVERYTHING concurrently: whilst knowing that’s impossible. Them I feel overwhelmed, daunted into inaction. It’s like there are two of me.

Sometimes, I think I’d rather be a chimpanzee, swinging in the trees, nonchalantly: rather than being a human being with a tribe of chimpanzees chattering in her brain..........

Obladi

So, my dear. Pick one thing to do with your full attention tomorrow, and do it whether you'll suck at it or not.

(Or tonight, but it's kind of late to get ambitious right now? I know by 8pm I'm pretty much done in nowadays. )

O

andyh

consecutively is easier & you'll probably figure out along the way that maybe you don't have to address EVERYTHING after all.

glad to hear you're doing well.

Dropsie

I want to be my dog.

Treat that SOB inner critic the same way you treat the AV, that is what I do.

Tetrax

OMG please don't get stressed writing anything out for me!

Just as long as it's done by morning.

Lol, but in all seriousness, the morning would be best.

I mean then it would be done.

Okay, okay. I am kidding.

Lunchtime will be fine

Trojanhorse

Tatsy my heart goes out to you. Wish I could give you some wise words to help with your need to tackle everything at a time, but I have none. I do agree whole heartedly with MesaMan and his comment"the sun will come up tomorrow". When my todo list gets way to long and unfinished this is a saying I use all the time late at night so I can get some rest. It is so simple but so true. I used it in my coaching as well. I would always tell my athletes that no matter the outcome, win or lose, the sun will come up tomorrow. This doesn't apply just to sports, it applies to regular life as well. I hope you can embrace it.

Kaily

I think what your really doing Tatsy is this.



Don't forget to be kind to yourself. It is still early days.

Obladi

Good early-afternoon, Tatsy.

Here's wishing you One Step Forward today in addition to the many you've already taken this past week. I think both of us need to get our heads on somewhat straight in order to move along, and I think you're doing that.

I'd like to be Dropsie's dog too, but she'd better take me wherever she goes. How's the family and home, Drops?

Hawkeye13

I do the exact same thing Tats. In fact doing it this minute, petting and repeating cat, sipping cold coffee, delaying my date-start long as possible.

Got up at 5, now 10:34. One load of laundry and breakfast all that has been done. . .

Fusion

Thanks everyone for posting whilst I went AWOL, it was heartwarming to just read them all. Kaily, I love the positive cartoon. Tetrax, you made me chuckle, that was a sound I haven’t made in a while! I’ll achieve a midday, just not today.

So, I’ve been having an in-depth discussion with myself. It seems I want to give these adverse life-circumstances, my very best shot of taking steps to over-turn the injustices.

Half measures avail us nothing. I don’t want to fail. I’m brimful of fear of failing. I know, it’s better to try.....but.

I want to succeed and feel my capabilities are inadequate for the task. In fact it’s more than that, I’m just afraid of failing, securing a less than optimal outcome. I’m petrified of taking action, in case it’s wrong. I’m full of fear for the uncertain future.

And I’m sorry, this is Secular, but I’m sending requests for inspiration up to the Universe, because I feel so small, and so inadequate.

But on the alcohol front, I have no fear: I will not drink, won’t power is in force.

Fusion

OK, so I’ve decided that I will stop posting on this thread. I’ll be absolutely fine, on the non-drinking front. Thank you for all your support and guidance.

Obladi

If that's what's best for you, Tats. You know where to find us.

xo
O

Cosima11

Hey Tatsy, I understand feeling overwhelmed, all the changes I knew I had to make did seem insurmountable in the beginning. I decided to just tackle one thing at a time and mostly it's felt like I've been moving in slow motion.. but when I look back I've actually accomplished quite a lot in not even 2 years. I think the internal changes will manifest themselves as external changes when the time is right.. which is not always in our control of course.

I hope your break from SR won't be for too long if you find you want somewhere to vent

Trojanhorse

Tatsy best of luck with the challenges that are ahead. One challenge at a time, one day at a time as the rebuild moves forward. Remember we are here for you if you need us, tkr