Fusion

Just spotted this, a short, video on the basics of neuroplasticity. Signposting hope that change is possible, by ignoring the AV, developing new habits. and building new, stronger neural-pathways, with repetition:

AlericB

Hi Tatsy,

Good video. As you say, neuroplasticity does give hope that change is possible. I'm interested in mindfulness and I've read some stuff by Jeffrey Schwartz who researches mindfulness and neuroplasticity. He shows that while alocohol, or any other drug, can alter your neuronal circuits and connections, so can nonchemical actions such as mindfulness and even just thinking differently about things. He says it's useful sometimes to think of the brain as a kind of muscle that, just as our biceps will get bigger if we lift weights, so will our neuronal circuits that relate to drinking become stronger the more we drink. And vice-versa. If we stop shifting weights and stop drinking or think about drinking in a different way these circuits will become weaker.

I think essentially he's saying that neuroplasticity applies to drinking in just the same way as it does to everthing else. We go on autopilot and develop drinking habits but, like any habit, we can change it if we want to. It really comes down to do we want to?

Tetrax

His 1996 book Brain Lock was MASSIVE in helping me with my OCD, and way ahead of its time. I still utilise the tools he outlines today, and can relate it to AVRT.

Years later I would say it does still take some work to have to remind yourself not to slip back into obsessive thinking/performing that compulsion, so obviously it relates strongly to addiction.

My AV problem lately is I've let it start talking to me, not shutting it down straight away. Allowing myself to romanticise.

Maybe I like flirting with the idea for fun (that's where it differs from OCD, which never has any fun aspect to it). Escape by fantasising escape?

I don't know for sure the motive but I do know I've gotta cut this s**t out.

fini

“My AV problem lately is I've let it start talking to me, not shutting it down straight away. Allowing myself to romanticise”
romanticising is quite different from “letting”AV talk.
let it talk. yapyap..so what?
you yourself romanticizing drinking is something else.

Trojanhorse

Tatsy you seem so strong and focused. Love it. Good for you. You are an inspiration to all of us.

Have a great weekend.

AlericB

Without wanting to derail Tatsy's thread imo 'romanticising' is just another word for'wanting' and comes from exaggerating the powers of alcohol e.g. we think it can make us relaxed.

How are you this morning Tatsy?

Obladi

"AV is any thought, image or positive feeling about drinking." So romanticizing counts. And yes, the AV should never be entertained.

Heya, Tats!
What's the happs?

Dropsie

Wanted to share this from O's relapse thread, as I see this happening here and it makes me so happy:

The collective experiences I had, learning about my brain's physical condition and various stop drinking methods as well as the input/advice offered by others over the years coalesced into a real internalization of what was needed to move forward.

The way I see it is that Tats got you Tats back, but with the added learnings from the relapse, which will help identifying the AV.

About the romantizing thing, I that for me is AV at its best -- remember how nice it was to have a couple drinks with [] and do [], etc etc. And then it says, you got this now, you can have a couple, set a strict limit, no ba gonna happen. The reality is that the couple drinks stopped years ago and bad sh$t will happen because of those darn nueropathways. For me, they key is that whenever I think how nice it was, I call BS and move on.

X all

Fusion

Thanks everyone 🤗. I’m doing well. I’ve sucessfully snapped out of the uttter, debilitating negative mindset. Still rather daunted at the transformation of self I’m required to undertake, to rebuild my life and flip from passivity to proactivity! Why are things which are beneficial to us, harder to perform than those which are detrimental? Oh well, I need a fresh start, so I must continue to direct myself into self-discipline mode.

I’m presently researching the Neuroscientist, Jeffrey Schwartz, that Tetrax mentioned.

Tetrax, I agree with Drops, ‘your’ romanticising may be your AV, continuing its drivel by pretending to be you......thinking about how nice the drink might be, after the AV first raised the thought/feeling/image of one. Stay strong. Don’t fight it. Ignore it.

Jeffrey Schwartz co-wrote a subsequent book, “You Are Not Your Brain”, extending his four steps to deal with addictions and bad habits. I’ll continue the internet search tangent now, to identify the essence of his book/steps, to post here. In fact, I’ll search on SR, I’m sure I wrote about it a few years ago.

Thanks everyone for your kindness and continuing support. I’m finding once more, as MesaMan’s tagline says ‘Sobriety is Mental’.

Obladi

Hello, my friend.

The transformation you are to undertake, I hope is "required" by you and only you. I have no requirements for you, just a strong belief that there was no chance to change before you stopped drinking for good, and now your options are open! Still, this resonates with me. It wasn't long ago that I told myself that pretty much literally everything about the way I was living would need to change and how intimidating that was. Several weeks in, I realize this doesn't need to happen all at once. As long as I keep making progress and am mindful about it - and don't drink ever - that's good.

I don't know, really, whether doing the right stuff is harder than drinking. That was a frickin hard life to maintain. The lies, the vomit, the fear of discovery, the utter lack of self-worth, you know that stuff. I think the hard part of doing the next right thing is that it requires me to step outside of my comfort zone and perhaps have to deal with extreme self-consciousness. Too bad! I'm going to attribute that to AV, right or wrong, and keep moving along.

So glad you're here, Tats.

xo
O

Fusion

Thank you for your kind words, Trojanhorse 😃. How are you? Do you have any plans for your weekend? What approach are you taking towards your sobriety, or are you still building up your tool-kit.

There’s lots of great folks reading this thread at the moment, with a wealth and diversity of experience, if you ever wish to ask a question. Take care 💓

Wholesome

It will get easier. And everything is mental, not just sobriety. It's all about the stories we tell ourselves and our own perceptions. I've found that change can be kinetic, it starts to build its own momentum. Just focus on not drinking, then as you start feeling more stable and grounded, you can start tackling whatever other self improvement you think would benefit you.

I've been painting this week! I'm treating my home like I'm treating my mental health..... it all needs to be cleaned out and purged of all the crap I've been collecting for years.

Trojanhorse

My plans for the weekend include working on my brothers and my small little farm, getting equipment ready for harvest. I am also taking my wife to a professional football game on Sunday. Monday is a holiday here so not sure what's up for that. My approach to sobriety is simply having enough of feeling bad, making others feel bad and slowly digging my own and my families deep hole. I quit before and lasted 5 years, I am ready to try it again. My toolbox this time includes this forum and the knowledge that I have beaten this demon once before its time for round two.

Tkr Tatsy I love following this thread.

Sohard

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sorry I missed this til now but glad you're doing better, Tatsy!

August252015

Same question for you this am, T - how are you?

And I totally agree with Aleric's statement- my mother had a horrible process (perhaps sometimes still does?) with what she called "romanticising." I think Aleric captures it perfectly.

That power we give alcohol is indeed something you are working on, my friend. It can go away with our continued sobriety, indeed.

Obladi

Well, I'm a little late to your good morning, but I have very good excuses, like figuring out my work schedule for next week and referring another SR member to your thread (I'm sure you don't mind. )

In that case, Good Day my good friend. I am jazzed that you've been so fired up by your research into your past learnings and following new leads to expand your insight!

Whassup over there?

xo
O

Fusion

Me too. Trojan, round two. But this time, it will/must be the final round.

I recall MesaMan writing years ago, that he viewed the desire to drink (I call it my AV - Addictive Voice) as a massive Sumo wrestler, that he was matched againt. He was in the circle with this, what appeared to be, a behemoth. It charged at him, but he defeated it, by simply, deftly side-stepping: and won, as it stampeded straight out of the circle. I always liked that imagery. It shows that I have the power, no matter how much the AV/Sumo wrestler roars, before the charge.

You have a farm! That will keep you busy, I don’t know what part of the world you’re in, but here in the UK, it’s harvest time. I had the ‘midnight farmers’ out last night with tractors lit up like beacons, racing against time, to collect and wrap the haylage, before rain set in. Farming apprears to me, to be life’s cycle. I’m glad you’re here and reading and posting 🤗.

Fusion

MythOfSisyphus, oh my, I didn’t realise you were still here, I remember your kind support on my original thread, prior to my last quit 🤗. I recall you moving across state and do hope that change in circumstances ,was beneficial for you.

Fusion

Oh yes, August, my friend, never truer words said, I know you ‘get me’.

You’ve been on my mind often the last few days, August. I do so wish that your recuperation is as comfortable as possible, and that your surgery outcome is a complete success 🤗.