I Drank After 2 Years and Six Months: I’m in Despair
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Anna, it’s so good to see you too! Thankyou for your words of encouragement, I really hope I can stop drinking and rebuild my life. This drinking life is torturous, and soul destroying. Thankyou for everything you do here, Anna
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,060
Hi Tatsy,
It is nice to see you but I am very sorry for the circumstances of your return.
I don't doubt for a moment that you will get sober again. But you and I both know that you can only do it at the right time. Be it today, tomorrow or next week. You will know when your ready.
Take care of yourself.
It is nice to see you but I am very sorry for the circumstances of your return.
I don't doubt for a moment that you will get sober again. But you and I both know that you can only do it at the right time. Be it today, tomorrow or next week. You will know when your ready.
Take care of yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Kaily, wise words indeed. I’m building up to the right time, as I taper. I just have this issue of safely ‘detoxing’ which I’m attempting via tapering. As you know, the official detox route in the U.K., is far from satisfactory, and I simply cannot wait that long.
Thank you so much for your support, Kaily, it’s really heartening to see you sober and flourishing! I hope to join you soon
Thank you so much for your support, Kaily, it’s really heartening to see you sober and flourishing! I hope to join you soon
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Originally Posted by Tatsy 
Anna, it’s so good to see you too! Thankyou for your words of encouragement, I really hope I can stop drinking and rebuild my life. This drinking life is torturous, and soul destroying. Thankyou for everything you do here, Anna
Just going to say - you've done it once, now you know you can do it again. Not sure if you go to AA or any other support group, but I found it was a lot easier quitting with support than trying by myself.
You can do this. You are not a failure in any way. This is tough. If it were easy - well, there would be no need for these forums, now, would there?
Be the awesomeness that you know you can be. You got this.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Originally Posted by Bobbieka
You can do this. You are not a failure in any way. This is tough. If it were easy - well, there would be no need for these forums, now, would there?
Be the awesomeness that you know you can be. You got this.
Be the awesomeness that you know you can be. You got this.
Edited to add: I love your tag line “We Can Do HardThings”! I hope so !
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Tatsey, as long as there is breath in your body there is hope. A good friend of mine relapsed at 3 years sober. She now has 20 years of sobriety.
You know you can do it. You HAVE done it. And you know that life without alcohol is much better and more fulfilling so that's an advantage straight away.
You re fired up those neurons in your brain when you took that first drink again. That's why no matter how long we abstain from drinking we go straight back to where we were when we stopped. The brain never forgets.
Do whatever it takes to not pick up that first drink.get your head on the pillow sober. Repeat. You can do this.
Thank you for sharing and helping to keep me sober today.
You know you can do it. You HAVE done it. And you know that life without alcohol is much better and more fulfilling so that's an advantage straight away.
You re fired up those neurons in your brain when you took that first drink again. That's why no matter how long we abstain from drinking we go straight back to where we were when we stopped. The brain never forgets.
Do whatever it takes to not pick up that first drink.get your head on the pillow sober. Repeat. You can do this.
Thank you for sharing and helping to keep me sober today.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Thankyou Snitch, your post means so much to me. I’m going to bed now. Not sober, but far less imbibed because of you lovely folks. Yes the neurones. Yet I’ve counteracted many of them today, by my not feeling so alone, in my battle. Thank you my friends.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
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Originally Posted by Tatsy
Thankyou Snitch, your post means so much to me. I’m going to bed now. Not sober, but far less imbibed because of you lovely folks. Yes the neurones. Yet I’ve counteracted many of them today, by my not feeling so alone, in my battle. Thank you my friends.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Hi Tatsy,
I know well the feeling of shame, but you can discard it here now that you've expressed it. It takes a great deal of humility and courage to come here and post about relapse, Lord knows I know. But it also indicates a true desire to do what needs to be done, and that's a very positive thing. Good for you.
You've done this thing already; certain proof that you can do it again.
CupofJoe, there is a rule you can't eat ice cream in the morning??? Oh no!
O
I know well the feeling of shame, but you can discard it here now that you've expressed it. It takes a great deal of humility and courage to come here and post about relapse, Lord knows I know. But it also indicates a true desire to do what needs to be done, and that's a very positive thing. Good for you.
You've done this thing already; certain proof that you can do it again.
CupofJoe, there is a rule you can't eat ice cream in the morning??? Oh no!
O
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Originally Posted by Obladi
.
CupofJoe, there is a rule you can't eat ice cream in the morning??? Oh no!
O
CupofJoe, there is a rule you can't eat ice cream in the morning??? Oh no!
O
Tatsy, I hope you feel better in the morning.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
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i wish you well with tapering, Tatsy. its own special hell.
beyond that, i personally don’t believe in the idea of a right time, as it implies there are wrong times to stop, also.
it is always the right time.
but i guess it is meant more in the sense of “being ready”, which is a nebulous concept, yet i know it was true for me.
great to see you connecting again.
beyond that, i personally don’t believe in the idea of a right time, as it implies there are wrong times to stop, also.
it is always the right time.
but i guess it is meant more in the sense of “being ready”, which is a nebulous concept, yet i know it was true for me.
great to see you connecting again.
I know how hard it is to come back. I drank after 20 yrs sober. 
But this winter I'll have 10 yrs sober, so I'm getting there. Member
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Not well, Wholesome. But on the positive side, I didn’t drink anymore last night (reading and posting on SR helped).
I’m holding off the first taper drink until midday. Recently I’ve drank as soon as I awoke, because of the frightening withdrawal symptoms. My heart is palpating. It’s presently 11.22am here. I will do this, again.
I’m holding off the first taper drink until midday. Recently I’ve drank as soon as I awoke, because of the frightening withdrawal symptoms. My heart is palpating. It’s presently 11.22am here. I will do this, again.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I have zero experience with tapering, but it sounds like it's own special kind of hell. I just know that when I drank, once it was in my system, then I couldn't trust myself to have limits. All bets were off.
What's your plan? To only take some if it gets really bad? Do you have someone with you?
And YES you WILL do this again.
What's your plan? To only take some if it gets really bad? Do you have someone with you?
And YES you WILL do this again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
I don’t want to alarm anyone, regarding this taper method. I realise this is an international community, where detox facilities are more readily available. They’re available in the U.K., but the process takes ages, before assistance can be accessed, and I know Kaily will attest to that. I absolutely wish I could check-in to a detox unit today, but the private fee cost is prohibitive, sadly.
I do have someone with me, monitoring, Wholesome. Plus, I’m following the National Health Service guidelines for a safe, stepped down taper, over a period of time. I’m determined, events have lit that spark of hope, and the support since my return here, has been marvellous.
I do have someone with me, monitoring, Wholesome. Plus, I’m following the National Health Service guidelines for a safe, stepped down taper, over a period of time. I’m determined, events have lit that spark of hope, and the support since my return here, has been marvellous.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Just stay safe.
Make sure you are drinking lots of water and electrolytes, and that you eat, and go sit in the sun too.
Don't let the taper keep you for longer than is absolutely necessary.
Life is too precious to waste it this way. You deserve better.
Make sure you are drinking lots of water and electrolytes, and that you eat, and go sit in the sun too.
Don't let the taper keep you for longer than is absolutely necessary.
Life is too precious to waste it this way. You deserve better.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Seems like all of us had pretty shocking experiences with the NHS on this one. But it only takes a GP with some vague idea about alcoholism to help you with some medication and advice, even if you cannot access a detox unit. Can you or whoever is with you go to a Walk-in centre now? Or make an appointment with the GP tomorrow?
I was very unlucky with my GP but I know others who have had great support and it seems to make a lot of difference to ease the physical symptoms.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is a very wake-up call.
I was very unlucky with my GP but I know others who have had great support and it seems to make a lot of difference to ease the physical symptoms.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is a very wake-up call.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
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Hi BackandScared, sadly, the GPs at my pratice refuse to prescribe the Benzodiazepines required for detox. I’ve tried. Instead, Patients are now referred to the Drug and Alcohol Service, where I’d go into a long winded system, Alcohol support worker, talking, meetings......and detox drugs only available after a very long process.
So I must save myself.
It’s unfair, I went to the Head of Practice, who said he’d love to help, that because drinking is now on my records, when I asked for drugs to ease withdrawal, he cannot prescribe them, I have to “go into the system”. He agreed it’s appalling, and they used to be able to prescribe them. He said if I’d simply reported anxiety, panic attack symptoms, in the first place, instead of an alcohol issue, then they could’ve doled out the drug I need for alcohol detox. Because, benzodiazepines mimic alcohol in the GABA receptors, and they treat alcohol withdrawal and anxiety problems. The irony is, I am suffering from anxiety, because of alcohol withdrawal. I feel stigmatised
Glad I helped you, you’re on the right path, believe me, sobriety is the goal, and it’s fully attainable.
So I must save myself.
It’s unfair, I went to the Head of Practice, who said he’d love to help, that because drinking is now on my records, when I asked for drugs to ease withdrawal, he cannot prescribe them, I have to “go into the system”. He agreed it’s appalling, and they used to be able to prescribe them. He said if I’d simply reported anxiety, panic attack symptoms, in the first place, instead of an alcohol issue, then they could’ve doled out the drug I need for alcohol detox. Because, benzodiazepines mimic alcohol in the GABA receptors, and they treat alcohol withdrawal and anxiety problems. The irony is, I am suffering from anxiety, because of alcohol withdrawal. I feel stigmatised
Glad I helped you, you’re on the right path, believe me, sobriety is the goal, and it’s fully attainable.
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