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I Drank After 2 Years and Six Months: I知 in Despair

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I Drank After 2 Years and Six Months: I知 in Despair

Old 08-22-2019, 09:10 AM
  # 281 (permalink)  
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Anna, I知 a book-lover 😃. Yes, my first time around the sobriety-block, my experience was that my AV lost its power. I must keep reinforcing that fact in my mind, and not lose hope.

Yes, perfectionism, it痴 such a problem sometimes, that it stifles me into inaction. I知 off to order the Brene Brown book you致e recommended. I like Brene, many years ago I watched a TED talk of hers, she was so brave. I need to be brave. Thank you, Anna 🤗
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Old 08-22-2019, 09:18 AM
  # 282 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MesaMan View Post
.
I've thought throughout that this blip is only a Detour in the larger scheme of things; as mentioned above.

'Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good'


~ 'Don't Give Up' ~ Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush ~
.
Thank you MesaMan, the words 惣ou raise me up came to mind.
The video image, lyrics, singing and music were exquisite and 爽plifting.
I will prevail 🤗. I just need to be brave and summons my inner strength.
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Old 08-22-2019, 09:24 AM
  # 283 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by fini View Post
are you still drinking?
No, fini, 🤗 I知 glad to report to you all!
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Old 08-22-2019, 01:57 PM
  # 284 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by fini View Post
i spent years and years reading, thinking, trying to understand things like passivity, low self-esteem, inner critic...and it's useful and interesting but didn't help me with staying quit.
Fini, what did help you with staying quit?
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Old 08-22-2019, 02:10 PM
  # 285 (permalink)  
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Oh the relief, head on the pillow soon, sober. After jelly and ice cream and a vanilla slice, have to replace the sugar somehow ☺️.

Thank you gals and guys for sharing your experiences, each one helps!
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Old 08-22-2019, 04:44 PM
  # 286 (permalink)  
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Sounds tasty Tatsy

Have you done the old school hot cocoa before bed lately? It endures for a good reason.

I make a keto version with 100 % chocolate, a splash of vanilla, and full fat milk / heavy cream base.
Grate a little nutmeg on the top, and if you are really sugar-randy add some whipped cream made with Greek herby honey.

Ymmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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Old 08-22-2019, 07:23 PM
  # 287 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Tatsy View Post
Fini, what did help you with staying quit?
initially, i basically literally woke up one morning with my slight shakiness and headache and had sudden clarity that i was a drunk.
whoa.
that it wasn稚 about what i was doing anymore but about who i was.

i had been lurking on the Lifering forum for a while, but then started participating every single day. i had a Lifering meeting in my town, and i was only going to go once, to acknowledge to myself in front of others that i had this problem with alcohol, and found it torturously difficult to walk through that door but knew i needed to.
turned out i loved that meeting; went every week.
was lucky enough on my forum to have some really good connections and conversations that helped me explore my alcoholism. i was reluctantly open to trying to overcome my resistance to and disdain of the aa program when i understood that in order to move forward with building a better life i needed what it offered. so i did that work.
now i am here daily, obviously
i do some 都ervice work.
this is just a sketch, Tatsy.
in general, i might sum it up as surrendering, then using peer support and through peer support understanding/accepting i needed something else if i expected forever sobriety, and so set out to pursue that.

so glad to hear you are not drinking now.
you DO have a day one in you, and then two and so on. they池e in there !
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Old 08-22-2019, 09:23 PM
  # 288 (permalink)  
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Hi Tatsy,

It was an interesting discussion of self-sabotage in your thread earlier. I've just come across this video so couldn't have posted it then but I thought it was so good it was worth posting now!

Self-sabotage: 5 Thought Patterns That Are Not Helping You..

How are things?
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Old 08-22-2019, 11:09 PM
  # 289 (permalink)  
ours de petit cerveau
 
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morning Tatsy, how are you today?

hi Aleric, long time no see, how are things with you?
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Old 08-22-2019, 11:55 PM
  # 290 (permalink)  
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I'm OK thanks Andy and hope you are too. Good to talk to you again.
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Old 08-23-2019, 02:08 AM
  # 291 (permalink)  
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Good morning, all!

Tats, how goes? I hope you're feeling good about pulling yourself right out of that lapse; it's such a simple thing but we sure can make it very hard.

What's the plan for today?

xo
O
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Old 08-23-2019, 03:29 AM
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Hi Tatsy

Sorry your still suffering.

As you know I struggled for a very long time to get sober, hence I do truly understand how difficult and sometimes seemingly impossible it is. I got worse and worse. Still not actually sure how I did stop. Stars must of aligned or something.
I won't lie I now absolutely fear relapse and know it could happen any time so have to stay so vigilant. It is a strange thing that only I can cause it to happen yet I don't feel totally in control of it not happening. Its that pesky AV playing mind games I guess.

I know your thinking will come right and you will regain control very soon.

Watch this if you haven't seen it already. Shocking but truthful.

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Old 08-23-2019, 04:09 PM
  # 293 (permalink)  
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Tats, I'm concerned that you haven't posted here at all today. Being as it's Friday and all, and that's definitely one of my "triggers," I'm wondering if you might be drinking again?

Either way, please check in and let us know what's going on.

xo
O
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Old 08-23-2019, 07:12 PM
  # 294 (permalink)  
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yes, Tatsy, either way, i hope you keep posting.
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Old 08-23-2019, 09:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Tatsy View Post
Oh the relief, head on the pillow soon, sober. After jelly and ice cream and a vanilla slice, have to replace the sugar somehow ☺️.

Thank you gals and guys for sharing your experiences, each one helps!
Im so glad you are off to bed sober, sweet dreams!!
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Old 08-24-2019, 04:00 AM
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Waas up Tats, coffee is ready. Not as good Hawk's but still.

Check in.
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Old 08-24-2019, 04:36 AM
  # 297 (permalink)  
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I'm gonna feed the cats, hop in the shower and will pop in with some scones in a bit.

Hope to catch you here, Tats.
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Old 08-24-2019, 05:15 AM
  # 298 (permalink)  
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Morning again. Just gotta grab a cuppa and drop off these tasty treats. I'm off for a healing.

I'll catch up with y'all later, fingers crossed.

xo
O
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Old 08-24-2019, 05:26 AM
  # 299 (permalink)  
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I’m having my coffee watching the fishermen heading out for a day on the lake. The first feel of fall with a barely-crisp breeze kissed with cool. Sliding doors to porch actually open.

Two pups asleep on my lap, extra coffee in reach in a thermos. This is my idea of heaven, brought to me in part by my sponsor Sobriety.

Hope you are all well. Big hugs Tats. . .you got this.
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Old 08-24-2019, 06:09 AM
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I love scones and a healing and Hawk's coffeee is always the best, but where is our girl?
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