Loneliness in recovery

Old 10-21-2018, 08:08 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 6
Loneliness in recovery

i was just wonering if you dont belong to a fellowship what do you do about loneliness. i prefer to hang out with sober people , yes i know people make friends on here but what about face to face relationships ?
sobernotsaint is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to sobernotsaint For This Useful Post:
MythOfSisyphus (10-24-2018)
Old 10-21-2018, 08:16 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Guener's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I have very few face to face relationships, and, yes, I feel lonely at times. I do enjoy my time by myself, sober, but I do at least engage with people at work, with my parents, and I'm going back to my first AA meeting in a couple years this morning. I am also considering getting started in some volunteer work outside the realm of recovery that will bring me greater self-esteem as well as connections to others face to face. As long as you are not isolating yourself from other people intentionally, I think it's natural to feel moments of feeling alone in your thoughts.
Guener is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Guener For This Useful Post:
MythOfSisyphus (10-27-2018), sobernotsaint (10-21-2018)
Old 10-25-2018, 07:11 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
LoveHateWhine's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 462
I also feel lonely a lot of the time. Like Geuner, I am going to try volunteering in the area as way to not only be around others so I am not isolating, but to also do some good. I have a lot to be thankful for and sometimes that is easy to forget.
LoveHateWhine is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LoveHateWhine For This Useful Post:
MythOfSisyphus (10-27-2018), sobernotsaint (10-28-2018)
Old 10-26-2018, 02:38 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
PhoenixJ's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 23,793
Blog Entries: 2
I feel lonely most of the time...but I force myself to be around humans. That means AA meetings- not because of the god bit, or the clichés (which are quite apt), but to be around people. I make myself go to places where humans are- like parks, malls- just to walk around. It does get a little easier.
PhoenixJ is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to PhoenixJ For This Useful Post:
Culture (10-27-2018), MythOfSisyphus (10-27-2018), sobernotsaint (10-28-2018)
Old 10-27-2018, 02:00 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,542
I'm not sure loneliness in sobriety is a secular thing so much as just a side effect of distancing yourself from your social circle of drinkers. After all many of us did everything drunk, and with other drunks. Sometimes as a survival mechanism you have to distance yourself from people that drink, especially in early sobriety. Of course, lots of people started drinking in the first place to deal with social anxiety. So take away the booze and the social anxiety remains.

A forum is not the same as having face-to-face friends but I find it incredibly valuable nonetheless.

I find one of the best ways to meet people is through hobbies. I've met quite a few people IRL that I got to know through forums dedicated to camping, hiking and the outdoors. A big advantage is that those places are full of people that will automatically have something in common with you. So that could be a book club, an amateur sports team, a knitting circle, a trap shooting league, etc.

Lastly I kind of like to hang out and surf the net at a favorite coffee shop. I can around other people while not really having to engage with them all. Of course if you like that can lead to actually meeting other humans.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to MythOfSisyphus For This Useful Post:
Brain (12-29-2018), sobernotsaint (10-28-2018), whitejay (11-11-2018)
Old 10-27-2018, 04:29 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
jesshonesty's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 34
Places to meet sober people

I have met a lot of sober at Meditation and Yoga Studios and also there are a lot of social events on Meet Up that are easy to join. Often things like hiking or other fun activities are listed--that don't include alcohol. I have to be around people in sobriety and go to AA sometimes just to open my heart--even if I something ignore the words people are saying.....
jesshonesty is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to jesshonesty For This Useful Post:
sobernotsaint (10-28-2018)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:55 PM.