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Old 04-06-2018, 11:05 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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If the convention was followed that you only respond by upvoting/thanking or not then it could work.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:12 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
oooooh, the 12 steps have been bashed,ridiculed,criticized, and attacked in every forum here on this site and the posts have been allowed. not ALL of them have been allowed, but quite a few have. differences of opinions are going to happen.

a very simple solution for it,though:
if you see a post you dont like report it. the mods do a phenominal job of removing what goes against the rules.
and that ignore feature.
just like what has to occur in every other forum when the problem arises.

trying to make a forum where criticism wont occur= not possible.
even amongst the members of ANY certain recovery program there will be conflict and criticism.
which had been proven in this thread alone.
Not so, TomSteve, it’s endemic here, so why bother ‘reporting’ it? As in the constant, bashing, repetitive, I’m paraphrasing here and conjoining “you can’t ‘just’ stop drinking; you’re not a ‘real’ alcoholic if you stop drinking without a program; just stopping drinking is not as good as ‘sobriety’ with a spiritual program; unless you find spirituality you’ll go it alone and suffer and white-knuckle; only God can save you; go to meetings and it works if you work it; if you don’t get sober with the steps then you haven’t worked the steps properly”.

I could fill this page, but all of these comments which infuse SR and here in Secular Connections, sadly, are directly affronting, the self-recovered and potentially self-recovered. By implying that we can’t do it on our own and if we do, it’s an inferior outcome, with which I wholeheartedly disagree.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:19 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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It seems we need to do something. Creating new forums is never done for the purpose of pushing a group of members to their own corner. They are created so all members can have a safe place to post.

I like the idea of putting the secular 12 step group by the regular 12 step group, but I would have to ask for opinions from the other mods.

We could leave the Secular Connections forum as a general forum like the Alcoholism forum. We can have a separate forum for only AVRT topics and another separate forum for non AVRT topics. I still don't know how that would solve the issues we are having with the Secular Connections forum. I can see members telling other member to go to their forum if they don't like what they say. There are also many things that you believe are against the rules, which are not actually against the rules.

What do you want to do?
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:25 AM
  # 84 (permalink)  
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Live and let live?



Or...is that not working? I mean that is my vote. Leave it as is except yes move the Secular 12 Step to the 12 Step forum.

I think other than that, not get into arguments - including telling people to speak a certain way in a certain thread, or to, "Take it to your own thread." I find that offensive, don't know if it bothers other people or not. If someone is allegedly breaking some forum rule, clickety on the little triangle thingy and then, "Let it go." Emphasis on the letting it go part.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:32 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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I agree with biminiblue and also pass my vote for moving the Secular 12 Step Forum, to the main 12 Step Forum.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:36 AM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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something i have learned the hard way (kicking and screaming) is that we do not HAVE to read or reply to every post. we can just move past them, or if a specific poster is getting in our craw, put them on Ignore. just speaking from personal experience.

i CAN see the merit of grouping the 12 step forums together.

is AVRT considered the primary alternative? is that why the thinking is to break into AVRT and NOT-AVRT subgroups? seems that then the non-avrts could get to squabbling...SMART vs Freedom vs Other. if one is going to make distinct lines of demarkation it should be more than just Thing or Not Thing............there's an inherent us vs them in that distinction.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:37 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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I also found this Dynamic profoundly offensive:

'... telling people to speak a certain way in a certain thread, or to, "Take it to your own thread." I find that offensive, don't know if it bothers other people or not.' My solution for such small and large Life Challenges? Refuge Recovery, and Buddhist-style Meditation.

I'm a Mod on 4 other Pages, including an Alcohol-related Page. Ya scroll past Posts and Writing Styles ya don't like. Or, Block. Or, Report.

I don't need 'interpretation' on whether my Recovery met some 'Happiness' paradigm. To paraphrase a Post from Fini elsewhere, 'I just wanted to be free of it all'. All this over-thinking, and re-interpretation, is lost on the suffering Addict about to drown.

I grew a Pair, and quit. As do 60% or 70% of Folks who quit without a Program. I found SR a few Months later. Invaluable Mentor Freshstart57 pointed me to RR Slides on-line a few Months after that. I'm no RR Moonie by any stretch. I use RR Shorthand like 'AV', 'Beast', etc., out of convenience. I use 'ODAAT' in the same manner.
.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:38 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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reporting posts is all fine & dandy, so long as that results in something being done by Mods, but that doesn't seem to happen in SC.

I've had my knuckles rapped, posts edited & posts deleted by Mods for very minor infractions elsewhere in SR, but disruptive members seem to get carte blanche here.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:41 AM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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I think if the moderation doesn't suit someone, so be it.

Ain't my circus.

*edit to say- -I've had posts removed and had moderation go contrary to what I think. Life in a forum. I'm not in charge.

Thank goodness.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:43 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory View Post

What do you want to do?
At this point, my head is spinning and I don't know if I have an opinion anymore LOL

You know the site better than we do and you have been around the longest. Everyone who posted on this thread is soundly sober/abstinent so just do what you feel would be the best for the person who is brand new or struggling.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:47 AM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by andyh View Post
reporting posts is all fine & dandy, so long as that results in something being done by Mods, but that doesn't seem to happen in SC.

I've had my knuckles rapped, posts edited & posts deleted by Mods for very minor infractions elsewhere in SR, but disruptive members seem to get carte blanche here.
Me too, AndyH, it makes me feel so sad, when all I was trying to do is guide someone who is receptive, to a better life-place, alcohol free. For that, I’ve received time-outs and threats of permanent expulsion from SR. I do hope that anyone who’s read my posts, will realise I mean no malice and quite the reverse, I simply wish to guide receptive people out of the alcohol trap through the technique that saved me.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:57 AM
  # 92 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
I think if the moderation doesn't suit someone, so be it.

Ain't my circus.

*edit to say- -I've had posts removed and had moderation go contrary to what I think
I know, but MG is offering us a chance to have our say, so I'm saying

Life in a forum. I'm not in charge. Thank goodness.
me likewise
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Old 04-06-2018, 12:01 PM
  # 93 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by andyh View Post
reporting posts is all fine & dandy, so long as that results in something being done by Mods, but that doesn't seem to happen in SC.

I've had my knuckles rapped, posts edited & posts deleted by Mods for very minor infractions elsewhere in SR, but disruptive members seem to get carte blanche here.
I have to agree with that too. We need to be able to safely discuss all non-12 step models safely, including AVRT but not just AVRT, and that is not possible as things stand.

I agree with the suggestion made above that the primary concern of any change should be what would be of most benefit to a newcomer.
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Old 04-06-2018, 12:07 PM
  # 94 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory View Post
What do you want to do?
how about a poll to vote on options?
other than that, sittin back with some pancakes and bacon and thinkin over the choices sounds pretty good.
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Old 04-06-2018, 12:15 PM
  # 95 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
how about a poll to vote on options?
other than that, sittin back with some pancakes and bacon and thinkin over the choices sounds pretty good.
LOL, TomSteve, that’s a great idea. Bearing in mind, that unless you’ve suddenly altered your abstinence route, you won’t personally get a vote as an interested person, because from your myriad posts on SR, you’re a staunch AAer (religious-God) proponent, and this is Secular Connections!

Or have you altered your stance on abstinence, to one where your’e not powerless, and if so, I’d like to welcome you to Secular Connections .
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Old 04-06-2018, 12:28 PM
  # 96 (permalink)  
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i dont think you get to decide who does and doesnt get to vote,tatsy- thats up to morning glory.
thanks for the PM by the way.
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Old 04-06-2018, 12:32 PM
  # 97 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
i dont think you get to decide who does and doesnt get to vote,tatsy- thats up to morning glory.
thanks for the PM by the way.
Well, I certainly wouldn’t expect to receive a vote in the AA 12 Step Forum, for the same reasons, I stated. I haven’t received a reply from you to my PM, yet.
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Old 04-06-2018, 12:36 PM
  # 98 (permalink)  
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i posted my replies out here,tatsy.
p.s.
i dont beileve in a religious God.
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Old 04-06-2018, 12:46 PM
  # 99 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
i posted my replies out here,tatsy.
p.s.
i dont beileve in a religious God.
Ok, Tomsteve, there was nothing controversial, here’s my PM to you, because I sought your view, as an AA proponent on this site, but you chose not to reply:

Private Message from Tatsy
Hi TomSteve, it’s good to see you post in Secular Connections. What do think about my suggestion to move Secular AA to mainstream AA Forum?
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Old 04-06-2018, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Tatsy View Post
What do think about my suggestion to move Secular AA to mainstream AA Forum?
Secular 12-step forum is a contradiction in terms. I've seen nothing therein that couldn't be posted in Secular Connections. Seems like a redundancy to me in addition to being inherently at odds existentially.
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