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-   -   concerned about slipping (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/423829-concerned-about-slipping.html)

celandra1 02-22-2018 05:08 AM

concerned about slipping
 
Been doing well, 33 days alcohol/tobacco free. The wife might be leaving town for a couple days, sick sister.

AlericB 02-22-2018 07:00 AM

Well done on 33 days.

If you freely chose to quit drinking then I don't think it will make any difference whether your wife is away or not. But if you feel, even slightly, that you have been coerced by your wife into stopping then it will obviously make a huge difference. It may be a good idea to tell yourself that your decision to quit was one that you freely made.

Carlotta 02-22-2018 08:08 AM

Not sure what method you are using (if any) and whether or not you have a plan but it might not be a bad idea to make a plan.

Maybe schedule some special project while your wife is away to keep you busy.
Stick close to SR
Be ready for your AV to start its nonsense and nip it right in the bud by stating:
I don't drink no matter what.
If you do support groups like SMART, Refuge Recovery etc, maybe plan to attend a few meetings.
You could also plan to do some volunteer work. It will not only take your mind of your problems etc. but you will also get to meet some really cool people.

Anyway those are just a few thoughts and suggestions.

Remember, you are an adult and your sobriety should not be contingent upon someone else being around or not.
You made a good and healthy decision to quit and there is no reason why you should not stick to it!

You can do it!!!

celandra1 02-22-2018 01:53 PM

Everything was really weighing me down today. But feeling better after spending the day on a couple sobriety websites and venting. Trying to keep the past where it belongs and not predict the future, just stay present, diffuse and accept.

andyh 02-22-2018 02:03 PM

^ what the others said. keep doing what you've been doing, it seems to have been working so far :)

Dee74 02-22-2018 06:38 PM

Hi celandra - like others have said your recovery shouldn't be contingent on who else is there, or not there.

Be the best you you can. Be the person you want to be.
For us, thats a sober person :)

D

VikingGF 02-22-2018 06:57 PM

You won’t slip if you decide not to. Take that option right off the table and flex those awesome sober muscles. Have plenty of tasks lined up to keep busy, and stay close to SR. Do whatever necessary to maintain your hard-earned sobriety. If drinking because you’re alone is enticing you because you won’t get caught, let me just say, letting ourselves down is worse than being caught. No one feels that horrible disappointment like we do, because it’s all on us. No person or circumstance can make us drink, we choose it all on our own. So slipping is just not an option, because you are stronger and better than that.

Enjoy your productive alone time. I know you’ll do great.

lessgravity 02-23-2018 07:49 AM

My wife was away last weekend, I know the temptations. Put yourself in the right situations.

For me it was also time for me to embrace the idea that "no one is coming to save me." I don't know if that rings true for you but it does for me. I find strength in telling myself that I am my only savior, no one else. Because even if it isn't this weekend, there will be times that you have the opportunity to feed the beast without anyone knowing besides yourself. And in the end its to that self that you must be accountable.

Building self trust, that's what you can get from this time alone.


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