73 days sober, bad day
 

Day 73 and it was just a bad day, from the time I woke up. My day off, woke up really tired and just felt like garbage. Went to run errands and got really aggravated at other drivers. Went to the gym and worked out hard but the whole time I felt angry. Went shopping and again, people were just passing me off. The beast didn't seem to be tempting me so I just don't get it. Guess bad days happen, sober or not. Something doesn't feel right.

If you have made your Big Plan, then it is certainly a different kind of bad day than if you have not made your Big Plan.

Have you experienced, or can you imagine experiencing any Abstinence Commitment Effect, the ACE from making a Big Plan?

I made my big plan but I don't rememberACE.

Exactly, quitting drinking does not guarantee you an happily ever after. Unfortunately, it's not always unicorn and rainbows but being sober and not feeling hangover, you stand a better chance to be able to handle whatever life has to throw your way.

I know that personally, meditation helps me a LOT. That might be something you might want to look into.

Also, there is no shame in seeking appropriate professional help if you feel depressed or simply mentally off kilt.

Hang in there and don't drink no matter what, you can do it :hug:

After finally understanding that my decisionmaking after drinking alcohol was always contrary to my plans before that first drink, I knew I had to pledge to never drink again, or wallow in the vagaries of "to drink or not to drink" one day at a time for the rest of my thus-shortened life.

Making that Big Plan for me was more than the sum of its parts - I will never drink again (five words). It was a shattering transformative event in my brain. It resulted in my instantly becoming an arch traitor to a long held, deeply loved cause - trying to secure a place for safely getting drunk into my life.

I believe making the (only once in a lifetime) Big Plan, without exception, will allow an addicted person to experience this "becoming an arch traitor" effect, and recognize in a brand new light, the fog of deception under which he/she had been living. To me, this is the core of the ACE. I couldn't help but SEE what I had been doing, what I had JUST decided I would never do again, and what that would MEAN for the rest of my future. It was awesomely exciting - GOOD, not bad. AVRT articulates simple thinking tactics for extending this as time passes.

Our society revels in glorifying all the joyous aspects of indulging in the pleasure of alcohol, but those of us who loved it too much and finally made the Big Plan, know better for ourselves.

As time has passed, following making a Big Plan, my sensitivities to pleasure have refined back to normal. I no longer rely on chemically induced assaults of pleasure (not even caffeine or sugar for me, I made separate Big Plans on those). This has allowed me to swim within my own unadulterated feelings and thoughts and I have discovered an incredible degree of variety within that realm - what I consider a "normal realm" of thoughts and feelings based upon my naturally produced internal chemistry.

It sounds like your getting there, too. You are also learning to swim within your own natural body chemistry. Have fun. It's really what human life is all about.

Simply put, your AV wants you to "stew in your own juices" so IT can get you to add ITs juice to your mix.

Getting drunk is a briefer, violent, animal life in the jungle.

When I went to AA, I was astounded by the reaction to me being angry at times - it was viewed as "a defect" and a barrier to recovery.

I maintained then and now that anger is merely an emotion and a perfectly valid one. An emotion never made me drink.

I'm ok with getting angry. It's rarely helpful but once you see it for what it is - just a feeling, you might be able to sit with it better.