The opposite of addiction is connection https://www.huffingtonpost.com/johan...b_6506936.html Thoughts? Having a "nice cage" doesn't mean wealth and material trophies.. it's the quality and depth of the connections you have in your life. Which is something I've known from a young age from traveling to "impoverished" countries and noticing how people seemed dare I say... happier. If I go to meetings (which is rare but I have gone to a few over the last year and would go again if necessary) it's not to hear people evangelizing the 12 steps.. it's to be surrounded by people who make me feel less alone with my problem(s). Just as when I was drinking I could only form lasting connections with others who were addicted. And eventually even that was unappealing. If the purpose of an AA meeting was "we're lonely and our lives are broken" with no script to read from once there.. who would show up? Just something I've been thinking about since even around here there seems to be a lot of talk about "untreated alcoholism" and how AA is the only path.. gets under my skin a bit. |
I think that when people find something that works for them, they quite naturally talk it up. If you find a way to be sober and share it on the boards, your voice will be heard too. There are many ways to be and stay sober. Some ways are more evangelical and organized and some are more free-form. They are all valid. :) I agree that addiction is selfish and isolating, like an abusive relationship. I don't agree that random connections are always a good thing, especially when a person is newly sober and vulnerable. It took me a few months to develop safe boundaries and discernment again after I quit drinking. |
Originally Posted by Cosima11
(Post 6786780)
Which isn't to say we aren't largely creatures of nurture, because we are. But that's true of all people, regardless of drug use history. People with many friends and deep connections can become addicts, people with no friends or connections can become addicts, and everyone in between can become an addict too. The only universal common feature is, heavy drug use over a long period of time. The reasons people go there are as varied as the people who go there. You did ask for thoughts. :D |
he's written a book about SSRI's along somewhat similar lines: Is everything you think you know about depression wrong? I think it's an interesting (subjective) point of view - as is his addiction stuff - as part of a broader picture, but I don't think it's by any means the whole picture. |
Originally Posted by biminiblue
(Post 6786821)
I think that when people find something that works for them, they quite naturally talk it up. If you find a way to be sober and share it on the boards, your voice will be heard too. There are many ways to be and stay sober. Some ways are more evangelical and organized and some are more free-form. They are all valid. :) I agree that addiction is selfish and isolating, like an abusive relationship. I don't agree that random connections are always a good thing, especially when a person is newly sober and vulnerable. It took me a few months to develop safe boundaries and discernment again after I quit drinking.
Originally Posted by JeffreyAK
(Post 6786894)
My personal take: That article is the same old stuff, Rat Park, Vietnam vets, Gabor Mate, etc., with no other views discussed because it's all Jonathan Hari's often-recycled opinion. If thinking about things that way helps people, it's all good, but looking objectively it's not a particularly useful way to look at drug use and abuse because it's not predictive or actionable, unless the action is simply "stop using drugs and go make more friends". ;) It's not a correct way to look at addiction, since addiction is chemical dependency that can only come from drug abuse, not from any personal circumstance. Which isn't to say we aren't largely creatures of nurture, because we are. But that's true of all people, regardless of drug use history. People with many friends and deep connections can become addicts, people with no friends or connections can become addicts, and everyone in between can become an addict too. The only universal common feature is, heavy drug use over a long period of time. The reasons people go there are as varied as the people who go there. You did ask for thoughts. :D Quality over quantity :) |
Originally Posted by Cosima11
(Post 6786780)
... and how AA is the only path.. gets under my skin a bit. to steal a bit of AA advice - take what you want/need and leave the rest :) there are plenty of people on SR who don't follow a 12-step path, who hang out in this sub-forum. |
Originally Posted by andyh
(Post 6786956)
only if you read those posts/threads/sub-forums :D to steal a bit of AA advice - take what you want/need and leave the rest :) there are plenty of people on SR who don't follow a 12-step path, who hang out in this sub-forum. Took me a while to find this sub-forum but I do like what I've seen of the conversations here so far! |
Originally Posted by Cosima11
(Post 6786953)
Quality over quantity :) |
Yeah, I'm really glad I opted out of 'having' alcoholism, treated or otherwise, I just quit drinking, solved all those alcohol problems. My AV hates it, but who cares :) |
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