We are mere hosts...
 

I just read this in a post by waynetheking - that the disease is relentless until it kills the host.

I really like this analogy. For me staying sober is so much about the language I speak to myself. To consider myself a host of this insidious demon, like bacteria or a virus gives that separation from the cravings and the desires that is important for me. It helps beat back the ambivalence that I think so many of us give into, especially in the early days.

So thank you waynetheking for that phrasing. I'm going to repeat it to myself today when I need to.

For me staying sober is about what I say to my beast, and I can do it in many languages:
No
Nein
Nyet
Non
etc.

The language I speak to myself is about making me happy, productive, and fulfilled. I regard that as important, just not essential to my sobriety. All I have to do to be sober is decide not to drink. Pursuing happiness while sober takes some effort. Keeping those functions distinct and separate in my mind works for me.