I'm taking it all back.
 

I went out dancing tonight, something I haven't done in so long and that I used to love doing, and I worked out all my issues on the dance floor. The one thought I kept thinking as I thought about everything I've been through, the trauma that would have brought anyone to their knees, really ****** things like being abused and being a single mother and having my sister's baby die and just break everyone's hearts, I was alone for all that and it was hard, and I had upbringing with addiction, and I let alcohol bring me to my knees. And I quit. It was the most badass, courageous, pivotal moment of my life and I did it and now I'm taking it all back! I used to be cool, I used to go out and be hot and have attitude and a sense of adventure and alcohol took that from me and I'm taking it all back. F*ck that. I dance all over that. I'm going into my second year of sobriety with an attitude.

I was on fire with it last night, the passion and zest for life again, drinking took all that from me. It took my dignity and my self respect, it made me feel shameful and unworthy and depressed and isolated and morose, my world got so small, just me and my addiction.

For all of us who let that happen, let's take it all back! That thought is so empowering.

I remember again who I used to be, before all the bad stuff happened, except now I'm stronger than ever from having gone through all that, and I've finally slayed the dragon, I've got my confidence back. I'm ready to get back out there, doing this has been the most solitary thing I've ever done, I walked away from all my old buddies and haunts, it's time to start rebuilding the life I want.

awesome, zc!

Wow, zen :c011:

That got me fired up!!! :tyou

So happy for you, zenchaser.

Congratulations and onward to year two!!!

Zen ❤️ what can I say, I’ve drafted replies and deleted, my words are inadequate.....compared with your truly awesome posts above, testament to your recovered self.

I always knew you’d find freedom, a true Zen Warrior. It’s a privilege to have witnessed you rise and dance! You may like this quote:

“We are born into bodies that are fluid and free. Yet for most of us, this state of grace is sadly short lived. Judgement, emotional wounds, fear and loss become stored deep inside our muscles and bones, leaving us with shoulders that sag, hips that are locked, arms that can’t reach out, hearts that beat behind a stone wall. When we move our bodies we shake up firmly rooted systems of thought, old patterns of behavior and emotional responses that just don’t work anymore. Rhythm, breath, music and movement become tools for seeing, then freeing, the habits that hold us back. When we free the body, the heart begins to open. When the body and the heart taste freedom, the mind won’t be far behind. And when we put the psyche into motion, it will start to heal itself.“ ~Gabrielle Roth

Listen to music, play music and dance to music. Onwards Zen.......

I will never forget when I took music and dancing back. It was also my second year of sobriety.

Right now I’m listening to a man playing some songs he just wrote. Fantastic soul music and what a voice.

No longer zenchaser, since I have found my zen....

Now I'm BillieJean, Queen of the dance floor!




Beautiful quote, thank you.

Wonderful post. Wonderful thread. Thank you guys! :You_Rock_

toldya you'd catch it :)

and I wasn't sure about the new nom de web, thought maybe you were just really good at tennis :)

That is wonderful! I will say so long to Zenchaser, and welcome to Billie Jean. Onward!

Great stuff, and great to hear it!

.
Way to own it BillieJean!

~ Uptown Funk ~ Mark Ronson & Bruno Mars ~ Live ~
.

F*ckin' right! Own it with an attitude.

I would love for this thread to turn into other people's stories about how they took it all back too, what they recovered. I'd like to hear people's moments of triumph, it is an amazing thing to be totally owned by something and then to take back your independence.

The definition of Recover.

1: to get back : regain

2a: to bring back to normal position or condition stumbled, then recovered himself

b: archaic : rescue

3: to make up for recover increased costs through higher prices

4 archaic: reach

5: to find or identify again

6a: to obtain from an ore, a waste product, or a by-product

b: to save from loss and restore to usefulness : reclaim

intransitive verb

1: to regain a normal position or condition (as of health) recovering from a cold

2: to obtain a final legal judgment in one's favor

Love this...inspiring as in on day 1 (again). I'll come back and read this over next few days...I have some vague memories of what it was like to have "zest for life" and I know it is possible...I just need sober time. Maybe I'll write out what life could look like 6 months from now if I don't pick up again.

Hopedeferred, at 6 months the mental obsession about drinking, or more specifically, how I wasn't drinking had cleared up, my cognitive abilities had significantly improved, as had my health, my relationships, my job, pretty much everything. But it just keeps getting better! I'm at 11 months right now and all of sudden my body healed, I used to have terrible allergies and I could not really lose weight even though I was trying. My allergies are GONE, I haven't taken a pill in weeks, and the weight has been falling off me. I think it was my liver. I think I was making myself way sicker than I allowed myself to believe, I mean I always knew, but I didn't really let myself know. All of my relationships are so much more intimate and real. I lost some friends over the last year, I found they were Beast friends, not best friends, but the ones I kept are the real deal. I found getting sober to be a very solitary experience, I've spent a lot of time alone, but I don't think that's a bad thing, I needed to get to know myself again, and to stick close to my family.

Give yourself this gift. Just never pick up another drink and pour it down your throat ever again. It really is that simple. And then give it time and put in the work to improving the areas of your life that you need to improve and get to work healing past traumas. We all have them.

That’s some ferocious reclamation BillieJ. I’m inspired to seek some sober ecstasy this weekend! Stand by for a report on my bad assness!

Gotta tell ya, they grey old mare just ain't what she used to be! I was sore from all that dancing, everything from the waist down lol. But it was worth it. We're going to do it again soon.

"Dance with me.

Bring my demons to their knees."

Nicole Lyons

Billy, you may like the Mark Twain quote:

"Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. And love like you've never been hurt."

Have fun and feel comfortable with what makes you feel good!