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Old 12-16-2017, 01:11 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi Shakeel.

I believe that one can quit without this forum, and in fact many people have throughout the centuries before the internet and before "recovery" concepts.

That said, i do still think there is value in reading and posting, because learning some of the nuances of AVRT from others' experiences just makes it a little easier for me. It is a learned skill -- mostly learned by paying attention to our own thoughts. But watching others' thoughts and hearing their experiences can help too. (Yeah, maybe someone will say thats AV, but whatever, i don't drink). Plus, I just find the AV and the technique of AVRT to be an interesting topic -- its really cool how it works and how bomb-proof it is.

Like Tatsy, separate and distinct from quitting, i pick up useful ideas on happy healthy living here on SR. Its not required, but i like some of the folks on here, and i get ideas and support for other problems aside from drinking.

Last edited by tursiops999; 12-16-2017 at 01:14 PM. Reason: Added some stuff
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Old 12-16-2017, 01:14 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Shakeel, I really like your new user name!
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Old 12-16-2017, 02:19 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
What are you going to do about experiencing residual desire?
I have none. been a week now since my last drink. I drank for three days about a week ago.
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Old 12-16-2017, 02:23 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by zerothehero View Post
As an adjunct to Rational Recovery, you might consider information on the SMART Recovery website. The forum there includes sections on Building and Maintaining Motivation, Coping with Urges, Managing Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviors, and Living a Balanced Life. Rational Recovery definitely helped me in terms of saying never again, making a plan, and utilizing the concept of the AV to cope with cravings and irrational thinking, but I don't care what anybody says, life is a process, not an event. Call it The Beast or call it automatic pilot, it is mindfulness of our inner dialogue that makes the difference. Call it recovery or call it sobriety or call it whatever you want, but it's not a single event (as you well know, NIC), but rather, a series of events involving commitment, skills, adjusting to living differently, and more. If recovery were an event there would be little need for any of us to keep returning to this forum. Do what works for you, keep an open mind, learn from many sources of wisdom...
I did sign up on the smart recovery site, I saw they had meetings online. and I will go back and read some of the stuff on there. If you have any ideas where I should start, let me know via IM
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Old 12-16-2017, 03:39 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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When I decided to quit, I had the "obsession" for a good six months. But I never drank again. I made a Big Plan and stuck to it. The obsession was simply the AV trying to get me to cave. I kicked its butt. Making a big plan is one thing, but learning how to deal with the AV is another. There are many ways to do this, you have to find your own. I spent a LOT of time coming to this forum when I first quit. Whenever I felt the obsession, I came to the forum, changed what I was doing and let it pass. Never give in to the beast.
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Old 12-16-2017, 07:10 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I think I did AVRT without meaning to.

In rehab I got that I'm an addict, that it's been progressive over my life and I simply can't drink anymore. Not a little bit, not ever.

It's like a switch flipped.

Cognitive therapy in outpatient group taught me how to acknowledge cravings, to recognize the thoughts that lead up to them, and work on thinking your way out of them (and many other things, like anxiety).

Now I notice the cravings and let them go. "Oh, look, a craving." Not fighting cravings takes away their power.

Drinking is just off the table. Period. Mindfully dealing with cravings and saying "Bye, Felicia" is easy when drinking is just not a possibility. The AV is simply not taken seriously.

I'm at the point where sobriety is a no-brainer. The rewards of not drinking are absolutely fabulous as well.

It did take work and it did take finding a process and trusting it. However, the powerless over alcohol stuff and lifelong meetings just doesn't work for me, nor does giving my life over to a higher power.
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:21 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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It took awhile for the obsession to leave me too. I found I was also obsessed with how I was NOT drinking for the first 6 months. I thought about it all the time. I spent a lot of time on here. I used a lot of distraction and picked up some hobbies that required me to concentrate and demanded my full attention. Exercise was really important to me, still is. That gave me those good endorphin's and made me feel strong and healthy. I also used thought stopping, I would firmly shut those thoughts down if I could. Those thoughts are only as powerful as you allow them to be. If you engage with them and allow those debates to swirl around in your mind then they will seem very real and powerful. But if you recognize them and then ignore them then they lose their steam and fade. I avoided situations and people that I felt would make my journey harder for me, and I still do. It was hard enough in the beginning without putting myself in situations that would get my AV all fired up. And like LBrain said, I never gave in, that's key. Defeat was not an option. My AV told me all the time that I wouldn't be able to do it, IT constantly tried to undermine my confidence. IT used time against me a lot, like Ok maybe you won't drink today but you will later at such and such event or occasion. IT used my past failures against me as examples of how weak I was and how impossible quitting would be for me. I had to learn to recognize those lies and to believe in myself despite all of that.
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Old 01-06-2018, 02:06 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by shakeel View Post
I wish it was that easy. we ve been here before. will make another Big Plan
It honestly IS that easy. (: it really is
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Old 01-08-2018, 07:14 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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There is only one, good news is everyone is allowed to make one
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Old 01-08-2018, 07:27 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
There is only one, good news is everyone is allowed to make one
Is that really deep, or a typo, or am I missing something?
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Old 01-08-2018, 08:09 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Trohyn View Post
Is that really deep, or a typo, or am I missing something?
There's only 1 plan. And we're all allowed to make it.
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Old 01-08-2018, 08:31 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
There's only 1 plan. And we're all allowed to make it.
Oh, I see. Duh me!
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Old 01-09-2018, 01:03 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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I just wanted to say thanks for all the great posts on here.

Very similar to my experience, the accidental big plan brought about by the realisation that I am an addict, after which drinking is off the table. NQTD.

BTW, I loved the Hip Sobriety course, check it out. Great insights.

How is it going Shakeel?
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Old 01-09-2018, 01:19 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Trohyn,

There is only one BP but the wording of it may differ if that makes it more meaningful to you. It must however be watertight and allow no possibility of you ever drinking again without clearly knowing that you had consciously chosen to break your BP and so never really meant it when you made it.

My BP is "I will never drink again in the present moment, and I will never change my mind". This is an alternative wording that is suggested in the New Cure book and which I like because any time in which I could possibly drink may be in the future now but would be the present moment if I ever did drink. This helps me realise that if I am capable of not drink now, which I obviously am, then I am capable of not drinking then, whenever then may be.

I keep the "never change my mind" bit in because although IMO it's not logically necessary - if I am never going to drink again then I will necessarily never change my mind - it helps me to realize that the only way I could ever drink again would be if I chose to change my mind - I would not be able to blame it on a slip or relapse for example.
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Old 01-09-2018, 04:40 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by AlericB View Post
Trohyn,

There is only one BP but the wording of it may differ if that makes it more meaningful to you. It must however be watertight and allow no possibility of you ever drinking again without clearly knowing that you had consciously chosen to break your BP and so never really meant it when you made it.
Thanks for the post Aleric. I think that the original maxim is working well enough for me at the moment, but I do see your reasoning in bespoke modifications.

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Old 01-09-2018, 05:29 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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My mind is still very befuddled after all the years of poison, but coming here is helping me to regain some brain strength. I do know that I will never drink again. Just have to keep reading, even if I have to read everything at least twice! Thank you all for this thread.
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Old 01-11-2018, 02:47 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MindfulMan View Post
However, the powerless over alcohol stuff and lifelong meetings just doesn't work for me, nor does giving my life over to a higher power.
100%.
I'm a rational, atheist.
The higher power thing seemed ridiculous to me. I did try trusting in the universe and that sort of thing but it struck me that somebody with my beliefs has no business messing around with faith-based stuff.
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