Fusion

For me, the actual 'quit and staying quit' part, I did on my own. It couldn't be anyother way, save for someone imprisoning me and refusing to supply alcohol - then someone would be helping me to quit.

But, during the quit run up period, I was certainly helped, by the researchers, book authors, SR posts and more particularly, certain people here in Secular Connections, who effectively acted as mentors and supporters during my AVRT investigation and learning process. After which, I quit.

dwtbd

I consider stirring someone to learn about AVRT as telling someone 'Stop and Dont' , I do not consider it helpful toward ending an addiction to focus on anything other than the immediate cessation of consumption.

Fusion

Well, I benefitted from hand-holding here on SR, as I learnt AVRT, after many years of attempting to stop drinking. I still have saved, to this day, the brilliant PMs I received from SR members who'd stopped drinking via AVRT. Those PMs gave me the support and instilled in me the courage and hope, that I too could stop forever, by making that leap of faith: as I did.

MesaMan

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As I ventured into Sobriety World, I found that I had to strip away a lot of misconceptions to simplify and cement this whole 'Not Drinking' transition after ~48 Years of increasingly-dependent, hard Consumption. As in, a 1.75 Liter 'Handle' of Vodka every 2 Days-kinda Consumption. One such false conundrum is that you either 'quit alone' or 'quit in a Group'. I found neither Scenario to be fully explanatory. So, l trashed that lie.

I initially quit 'alone', and found SR a few Months later; based on my Searches. SR was my kind 'Meeting Group'. I could read Posts while in a Grocery Store line, or while at the Dog Park. There are many more POVs here than available in any F2F Meeting, and Forum anonymity leads to more honesty. I can mentally recharge without 'too much' Human contact dragging me down. Which happens. I reject the force-fit assumption that everyone benefits from Group Settings, or that to not get sucked into *Group Think* is to guarantee failure through Relapse. That's just Extroverts trying to commandeer the Sobriety Methodology. Another re-told lie is that what I did was 'white knuckling' it. This false Construct is pushed in order to force potential Free Thinkers into line, IMO. I could not care less how many People that assumption might be true for; it ain't true for me. The only Person trying to sober up in my Life. After several Months Sober, my somewhat-clear Mind was clear enough to assess and refine the right path for me.

A common epiphany here on SR is how 'ya gotta want it'. Sobriety. All other machinations after The Quit Decision -> The Big Plan follow from this intense inner conviction developed by lil ole Terrestrial me. I read the RR/AVRT Slides on line, and have done no other 'Program'. None needed, after my Quit Decision. My path should not be confused with 'going it alone', or *unhealthy* Introversion. We're not choosing 'which Hamburger is best', here. So, if I don't like the Hamburgers from a massive Fast Food Chain, I could not care less how many Folks do. And yet, this sort of bizarre numbers game 'Logic' is often invoked to prop up which Recovery style is 'best'. Seriously?

RR/AVRT was 'best' for me. Out in the Real - and Rural - World I live in, the Stats are very different than here on SR. The majority of Sober Folks I meet while RV Trailering either up and quit - with self-defined support - or quit long ago via a variety of Programs, and stayed quit on their own. Even if that took multiple efforts. Another point right there: what causes The Quit Decision to 'stick' is also unique. So, don't *Hamburger* that Decision.

As some advanced, Sober Minds here say re: RR - 'It ain't easy. But, it is simple'...
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Fusion

Yes, the false construct of 'white knuckling' seems to serve only to keep a continuous supply of attendees: if you don't attend meetings etc., then you're 'white knuckling', keeps people stuck.

I know of two lovely young men who went back out and died....all they were told is keep coming back, it works if you work it - only it didn't work for them and they lost their lives. Why didnt folks say, if it doesn't work, try something else!

Plus, the relapse scenario, well no, it's not a requisite part of sobriety, quite the opposite. Yes, I don't agree with hamburger 'recovery' either. I believe in freedom from addiction; not replacing addiction with another addictive substitute.

You rock MesaMan, you're a Sobriety RockStar!

AlericB

And that's the real sense in which we quit alone. Not that we do it without any help or support but that we must ultimately interpret whatever approach we use in a way that makes sense to us.

Wholesome

Or the pinnacle of absurdity, that if you could quit on your own then you were never really an alcoholic. Not to mention any kind of questioning of the status quo is part of your disease, so therefore proof of how very sick and dependent you must be. Talk about a Chinese finger trap, the more you struggle the harder it gets in a loop of nonsense where every argument is met with a catch phrase and if that doesn't work censorship or banishment, with the threat of certain death looming over your head.

Greenwood618

Truly awesome posts here, last few anyway.

And to clarify for anyone in doubt, despite views to the contrary, we constantly hear from people who quit on their own. I am one and so are most of the regular posters here.

Of course, there will be Collective AV quibbling, as there always is from IT, as it fears for its life.

Someone saying, hey, check out RR and AVRT does not count as "support." Guidance, ok. Education, sure. Support, no, not as in, "oh my god my liver is bleeding and I posted sex pics on Facebook and my dog died and am going to drink for sure, please someone talk me out of it."

Nope, no way, nada.

LBrain

Hello shauninspain! It is unfortunate that you have relapsed over time and are now looking for - hoping for - something else to help you get over the drink problem. It is a shame that your question sparked a debate among the members - this could have been taken elsewhere. Someone asks for help and the masses get into some sort of 'argument' with total disregard to the original poster.

Let me offer another way to look at it. First of all, I quit drinking before I ever heard of AVRT. I attended some group things during that time which did nothing but make me want to scream. But alas... I found this forum and spent quite a bit of time using it while I was going through the early period of 'sobriety'. 30+ years of heavy drinking and relating pretty much every activity to drinking is difficult to change in a snap. However, I decided I was never going to drink again - before I heard of AVRT. I never was big into the "beast" thing or any of the other terminology used in the various explanations. The only thing I did know was that something happened to awaken me. A single event that caused me to make the decision, but which also gave me pause to review my life and history of drinking, the series of events and the cumulative effects on my life - most negative - from drinking. If there is something you have done since time remembered (drink every day) yet you know you must stop - the reasons to stop outweigh the reasons to continue - then the decision is clear. You must stop.
But here is the most difficult part, some call it the beast or any number of other things, you cannot forget WHY you needed to stop. That is it in a nutshell. If things were so bad that you needed to stop, what makes you think you can start again? That is the logic, or illogical thinking, that gets people in trouble. So no matter what you decide to call 'it' or how you wish to address 'it', whenever you think it is okay to have a drink take 30 seconds and ask yourself why you wanted (needed) to quit in the first place. If you do that every single time you desire a drink or come close to picking up a drink, you will never drink again. You are in complete control. That's the bottom line.
When I discovered AVRT through this forum I did the 'crash course' - I believe that's what it is called - that is a condensed version of AVRT I found online. At the end of the presentation the reader is asked to repeat, "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind." Then you get your PhD and carry on. PhD = Phormer drinker I believe.
Then regardless of the situation or temptation to drink, always remind yourself, "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind." - If you do this every time, it works every time. As far as other issues one has that may be related to alcohol, cause and effect, or just other issues in general, those must be addressed separately from "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind."
Best of luck. But in reality, no luck is needed, just a desire to stop drinking and mean it.

Ustacallmelola

I could not live with white knuckling it every day for the rest of my life thinking relapse is right around the corner. That is not living. I want to be free. I quit smoking 18 years ago. I know I cannot ever have just one. I try to apply the principal to drinking. It took me a year to stop craving cigarettes. I am sure quitting drinking is not much different.

JeffreyAK

It's been true for me in recent years. I figured it would be eventually, and it was. I quit snorting coke, cold turkey with no support or groups or anything, 35 years ago, and I haven't had the slightest interest in doing it again for at least 34 years, so I figured quitting drinking would be the same.

We always choose to relapse, if we relapse, and an important milestone for me was coming to terms with that reality - there's no beast behind the bush, nothing will sneak up on me, it's always a choice and we can choose no. Eventually, after maybe a year and a half, I had no interest in making any other choice.