Bursting bubbles
 

I took my dog for a walk in the park this morning. It's a rare sunny day here in England and a child was blowing bubbles from a bubble toy. She ran round popping them and my beast (my dog, not me happyface:) got excited and joined in.

It struck me that this is how AVRT works. The thoughts and feelings of AV disappear just like soap bubbles when you mentally touch them with recognition. And it's so simple that even a child or a dopey mutt (me this time, not my dog) can do it.

Or perhaps I've just been out in the sun too long happyface:

Love this. I know what youre talking about. Not regarding alcohol (yet, I am only a week in) but regarding life and healing. Bringing things fully into awareness almost does half the work (or more) right there.

Nope, not out in the sun too long! I love your analogy. I worry when folks say they're practising AVRT, but then go on to say they're struggling, experiencing difficulty or fighting. That's not how the R (recognition) in AVRT works. If you wrestle or fight the urge, whatever, it's prolonging the agony and only suffices to amplify the AV and the Beast will grow in strength. I liked what MesaMan wrote about the rookie smaller Sumo wrestler when confronted by the larger more experienced wrestler. The larger one ran at the smaller one, who deftly side-stepped and the larger ran ran straight out the circle and lost. It's about no engagement, just recognition.

I've a (failed) background in AA, and my experience practising AVRT is that if you turn its premise on its head - I'm NOT powerless over the compulsion/urge/cravings driving me towards a drink. By so doing, the AV is utterly defeated, as the power returns to where it always was - the neo-cortex, authentic/true self and inhibitor of the addictive parts of the brain. Or popped by Fudge the puppy!

I'm impressed that you remember Fudge's name. That's​ more than she (conveniently) does sometimes!

I have a small menagerie and I name them all. To save his life, my husband couldn't recall the names of all our animal tribe, apart from two cats and dogs.

I remember Fudge's photo when she had a short tenure as the Beast! Such a sweet puppy, I'm unsure of the breed.

Ah, that's why you would remember then happyface:

She's a cockapoo - part cocker spaniel and part poodle. In the opposite of what we do here, I think she's disocciated herself from the intelligent, poodle part of herself and become pure water loving spaniel, especially when I'm hoping to keep her dry.

Oh my, do I understand the cocker attributes. I have a working-trial blood-line Labrador - every tract of water has his name on it and he can't resist the gravitional force towards it: much like I was with alcohol.

Unfortunately, I have a stream across my land, with rather muddy banks. Yuck.

I need to teach my dog to dissociate from water, as I did from my alcohol obsession. Sadly, my dog doesn't possess that part of the neo-cortex that has the ability to transcend the urge/compulsion to jump into water. Unlike me, as a human being, I have the higher brain that's capable of transcending the alcohol urge, if I choose to put it into action.

Edited to add: actually my dog can enlist his brain to stop him jumping into water....if I offer a high enough incentive, a particularly juicy treat. But the moment the treat isn't offered, or I offer a lesser treat, he forgets, and goes straight back to his old water running days. He has no recollection, but humans do. My dog can't drive a car, operate machines, create awesomeness, but humans can...because of the great inhibitor neo-cortex, which AVRT calls in to action.

This is a lovely thread! :tyou

Although I don't do AVRT and am a failed AA who still goes for social reasons, I was so touched by your story and that you were actually able to see it clearly rather than pushing on to the next thing.

I do think that fighting the thoughts and emotions is pointless. For me it is simply recognizing them for what they are and that they are not necessarily truth or fact, and leaving them alone as I continue.

But when I do that, it does seem a bit like my dog's nose touching a soap bubble that goes pooof with a small splash of water. :c011:

Again ... thanks for this post as it gave me a nice closing morning moment before heading to the store!

I caught myself this afternoon in a full fantasy about taking magic mushrooms..... I haven't done them in years but all of a sudden I realized that my AV was cooking up a whole idea about how I would get my hands on some and trip out. When I realized where I'd let my mind wander it was just like you said POP the fantasy was over and I was internally laughing at my AV. Like whatever, nice try but not going to happen!

zenchaser, like you with the mushrooms, my mind gets carried away sometimes, way, way downstream thinking about picking up again but as soon as I realise it's my AV I'm back on the river bank as it were, safe and sound, watching my mindstream play out.

I know my puppy has featured quite largely in this thread but let me say just one more thing about her happyface: A couple of days ago my partner went away for a week and my AV had been suggesting the idea of drinking again before she even left("who would know?"). I had been lacking the killer instinct towards the beast, feeling sorry for it, if I've honest, whenever I thought that me never drinking again would make it feel deprived. But it hit me yesterday that the beast would like nothing better than for me to spend all week completely drunk and wouldn't give a toss if I was unable to care for the pup at all. For "pup" think anything you care about, and this really brought home to me that I need to have the badass attitude towards the beast that AVRT advocates and dismiss its needs without a second thought.

Yes, the Beast (alcohol drive) has no regard for us or our loved ones. It would lead us to neglect both, in pursuit of ITs fix: even to the point of leading us to drink ourselves to death. The Beast is just a survival drive and has no comprehension of mortality, it's a rogue survival drive.

I struggled with the concept of 'starving' the Beast. I love all things beastie; can't even kill wasps, despite a huge phobia.

I settled on viewing the Beast as being sustained by my diet, so it wouldn't die - it's only deprivation being alcohol, for which it's sulking. This also disempowers IT, because if it crops up suddenly, after a lenghty period of no AV, I don't panic, resist, declare OMG the AVs returned, I've had a drinking dream, it must be an omen......phone someone, go to a meeting etc. Instead, I calmly just notice ITs reappearance, impotently whining and muttering away, asking for ITs fix.

Little puppy is so fortunate you've disempowered your Beast. Puppy training classes are really beneficial. I can highly recommend the Kennel Club's 'Good Citizen Dog Training Scheme'. It's structured classes, starting with puppy foundation and then higher levels; with tests and a pass certificate. There's a KC certified dog trainer network around the country, although as always, some are better than others. (I should've sent the last paragraph by PM - but no, I view this as puppy's thread, plus I adore the imagery of the bubble (AV) popping puppy).

Thanks Tatsy. In the spirit of AVRT, I must remind myself that the trembling I feel as I read about the Kennel Club training is not my anxiety but my puppy's who's reading this over my shoulder.

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I'm lovin' this Imagery of the AV being a popped Bubble. Too good! Here's some .gifs to load onto an Electronic Device, and perhaps serve as a visual distraction when the ole AV pipes up. Mine's virtually deceased, I'm pleased to report.

- Bubble GIFs -

Here's my Fishin' Buddy earlier this Week...
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http://i64.tinypic.com/qy5kpv.jpg
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Thanks, and I bet it's very relaxing going fishing with such a wonderful fishin' buddy!

"nobody would know" IT does have a point. No one may find out.

I think though at root this line of argument is designed to operate on the can/can't premise. It's fueled by the idea that we simply can't drink anymore , drinking again can't happen because (list any negative consequence here). But that in itself is a false dichotomy, of course we can, the idea we can't is not true.
ITs desire can't be indulged because we Don't (the ultimate burster of bubbles).

Morality/ethics is what we do when no one is looking, and regardless of what others think.

My Beast can't be satisfied, because I can drink, but I've decided I Don't, and I can live with that. :)

That is sooo funny.

My dogs loved dog training lessons, because I plied them with treats, to ensure they performed. I used that principle to try to stop drinking, before discovering AVRT. The impetus was outside myself. If we move to the city, then I'll stop drinking, only I didn't. If we move back to the countryside, then I'll stop drinking, only I didn't. If I have another pet, then. I'll stop drinking.....ad infinitum.

Last year, I became desperate to stop drinking, I was rapidly fading and the intake increasing. I upped the stakes and said, if I have a horse, then I'll stop drinking. My husband stared at me and said, you've got it the wrong way around, you have to stop drinking inside yourself, nothing outside can stop you. I didn't realise it then, but how right he was.

dwtbd, it's a very good point you raise about morality and ethics.

When I look back I can see that what started the process of quitting for me was the thought that it was immoral for me to be so out of control with drinking. "Immoral" seemed a more fitting word than "wrong" because my drinking was becoming so harmful to both myself and to others.

Keeping the moral aspect in mind will help me to remember that I have made my Big Plan because deep down, like most people, I want to lead the very best life I am capable of.

Ohhhhh MesaMan, I just love your Fishin' Buddy, absolutely gorgeous, looks the epitome of faithfulness. The fantastic thing about dogs is, they live in the now. As we do, now that we've stopped drinking. Always now, ever present, clarity, no more running and hiding in a bottle or can, creating our own better reality.

Morality implies choice. My BP is a moral response to an amoral desire.

A normative judgement that will always align with my personal ethics, and not a judgement I need make over and over.

Dwtbd, that is an awesome statement. I may have to quote it in future. It was the morality issue in AVRT that finally struck home and brought me to my senses/aka higher brain. No more hiding behind an incurable disease, no more excuses, no more being led like a bull with a ring in its nose, by a biological/neurological/chemical drive. Freedom.