Do you just fake it until you make it?

Old 05-02-2017, 05:18 PM
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Do you just fake it until you make it?

So I've made my BP- I will never drink alcohol and I will never change my mind. But I've made them in the past and failed. I keep reading how simple AVRT is and I can see how it is but my AV is relentless and is telling me I've failed before and that I will again. Or that I'll forget how awful I feel now and will try drinking again. Or that never again is a ridiculous notion and why would I even want to do that?
I guess what I'm asking is, in the early days, do you just have to fake your confidence being at 100%, until that confidence really kicks in? Help!
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Old 05-02-2017, 05:45 PM
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I have the same problems which is why, in situations like this, I will tell myself that I just don't have to drink today. This makes it seem less like an overwhelming uncertainty, making assumptions about the future. It puts things into perspective again.

I don't know if I drink again in the future. I don't know if I change my mind or forget about things. But I do know that I won't drink today and that's all that counts. Because today is all we have anyway

I know this 'one day at a time' is more of an AA approach and I struggled with this one in the beginning. But over the months I found it to work best for me.

And until I might feel comfortable to say 'never ever will I drink again' at one point in the future I'll go with just not drinking today.
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Old 05-02-2017, 06:12 PM
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About forty minutes have passed since you posted , and your AV was yelling relentlessly in ear , yeah?
Have you had a drink since? If not, how should you have assessed your level of confidence in your ability to tell the AV to bugger off, not necessarily how you felt about your ability to do so, but how you should have rated your chances?
Any doubt in arbitrarily setting your confidence level at 100% is AV, and apparently you can kick Its butt
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Old 05-02-2017, 06:30 PM
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yep- cos affirming rewires the brain
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Old 05-02-2017, 06:46 PM
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AVRT's simplicity comes from the laser like focus aimed at the desire for alcohol, not to eliminate the desire , but how to recognize it , separate from it and dismiss it.
"Doing it" isn't about doing something that keeps you from drinking, or eliminates the desire for alcohol, 'doing it' is eliminating the option , the option to consume alcohol ever again is removed permanently. Doing it means you get to choose that option.
Anything less is a plan for future consumption .
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Old 05-02-2017, 07:31 PM
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'Doing it' is eliminating the option. Thank you for that. If there is no option, there is no drinking, regardless of what the AV is banging on about.
Here's the thing though- I know 100% that I'm not drinking today. I'm heading out to work soon and won't finish until the booze shops are closed. So it's not going to happen. So the AV isn't suggesting I drink today, it's telling me that soon, in a few days when I feel physically better and the memory of the disgusting hangover passes, I am going to want to drink again. That sooner or later, I'm going to get uncomfortable and unhappy and will want to drink to make it go away.
So inspite of those thoughts, if the option not to drink has been removed, then I won't drink? Is it really that easy?
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Old 05-02-2017, 07:46 PM
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Are you doing anything else to help yourself, beyond posting here? Learning tricks and tools to make it easier on yourself, going to meetings (SMART for example has some great tools), changing your routines and maybe friends for the time being, making little plans to map out your days, etc.? Not everyone can just decide not to drink ever again without doing a lot more work, and it's fine to try different approaches if you find one approach hasn't been working.
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Old 05-02-2017, 07:58 PM
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All of those thoughts are going to come, you can count on it. This Big Plan doesn't say the thoughts will stop, that's not what it's about.

The point is, you have to 100% believe the BP for it to have any validity. Like dwtbd said above, anything less is planning to drink. I don't drink and I'll never change my mind.

That voice, those thoughts cannot get in the car without you. Can't walk in the store without you. Can't pull out the wallet without your consent. Can't pour the liquid in the glass and can't put it in your mouth. Thoughts are just thoughts. You make it go away by choosing to look at it and saying, "No," as many times as it takes.
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Old 05-02-2017, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by noneever View Post
It's telling me that soon, in a few days when I feel physically better and the memory of the disgusting hangover passes, I am going to want to drink again. That sooner or later, I'm going to get uncomfortable and unhappy and will want to drink to make it go away.
IT wants to drink, no doubt, simply because that is ITs nature. YOU, on the other hand, know better, you know what WILL happen should YOU continue drinking, and are able to make a rational choice. YOU choose survival. IT, on the other hand, does not give a rat's pitootie about you. YOU know that drinking does not make you comfortable and happy, drinking messes everything. Every dang time.

Look at what happens when you look at what you wrote and change just a couple letters. IT will want to drink, not YOU. IT will feel uncomfortable, not you. You will feel fabulous because you are making life giving choices this time instead of feeling ashamed, and depressed, and miserable and anxious. Remember, IT wants to drink, and YOU don't. When you get those drinking ideas, understand their source, and that source is IT, not YOU. This is how you separate yourself from the beast.

How do you know there is this separation now between YOU and IT? You know this, deep in your center of being, because you have made a Big Plan. You have thought carefully about it, considered it from every side, and YOU KNOW that this is YOU. The drinking thoughts are IT.

Should you find the idea of the AV upsetting, just remember that YOU are in control. You operate the machinery. You choose what your actions are.

YOU can do this, Noneever. I have 100% confidence in you, even if you do not. It really is that easy. That lack of confidence is the Beast. You got this.
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Old 05-03-2017, 05:41 AM
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Originally Posted by noneever View Post
my AV is relentless
No it isn't. Along with the other lies it tells, it also likes to claim that it is relentless.

BULLSPIT.

Mine relented long ago.

It can't be educated, reasoned with, bargained with, shamed, or intimidated. But the sumbeach can be starved.

And starving works.

You aren't faking it. You're going through a process.

You can do this.
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Old 05-03-2017, 08:02 AM
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Non - I'll bump my thread and maybe it will help? I had the same exact questions that you have. Lots of good info in it that helped me.
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Old 05-04-2017, 06:03 AM
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Thanks be happy- that's a good thread and I'm sure I'll be returning to it again and again.
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Old 05-04-2017, 06:22 AM
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Hi Noneever, I fully recommend Behappy's thread too, it contains excellent questions and guidance in response.

Congratulations, for making your Big Plan!
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Old 05-07-2017, 03:37 PM
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me I'm cured of alcoholism and many other addictions having had a full Kundalini Awakening before I new what it was impossible to relapse cured
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Old 05-08-2017, 05:08 AM
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Hey nonever, how are you doing?
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