Using AVRT yet no Big Plan

Old 12-30-2016, 04:05 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Using AVRT yet no Big Plan

Hi everyone!

I'm reading RR and have about 2 weeks sober using the techniques. I am familiar with this concept having used a variation of it and meetings to get clean from drugs in the 90's. So why am I so reluctant to commit with a Big Plan? Everything about my health and life is better than two weeks ago when I thought suicide was my only way out. I'm sleeping better. I look better. I'm more in control of myself. I actually have energy and hope. My head is clearer, and I'm no longer suicidal. I don't want to go back, but I haven't commited to a Big Plan and only a few people even know I'm going through this. I want to be free but I think my AV is still holding me back and I'm scared.

I'll finish the book and stay sober doing it. I've been on vacation which helped. It's going home that makes me nervous when I'm alone all day with nothing to put me in check.

I need that Big Plan.
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Old 12-30-2016, 11:32 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
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I know this feeling all too well. As the time passes your mental and physical state get some clarity. But then you are worried about what next. That is when I have to have to a plan. i know I can't stay sober alone. Proud of you for posting.
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Old 12-30-2016, 03:42 PM
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It's fantastic to hear about your sobriety, Lola. Congratulations!

I hear in your post that some things are yet missing for you, things that would help, I think. You identified your BP is yet to be made and it is perceptive of you to see that as a priority. You might consider that this means that you aren't yet recognizing your Beast, as this fear and reluctance are AV writ large.

Make that Big Plan, full of confidence in your success. Recognize all doubt and fear as enabling thoughts, and see that they are no longer 'you'. Use your BP to help you identify your AV.

I hope you find this helpful. You got this, I know it. Onward!
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