Blogs


Notices

Losing all interest after AVRT

Old 10-18-2016, 01:05 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Losing all interest after AVRT

I have only gone back to AVRT the last week or so. But I am rapidly losing interest in anything drink related, no desire for alcohol but also no interest in reading about peoples struggles with it, causes of it, drinking stories, recovery methods..everything.
Which is strange, as I have been a member of one recovery site or another for years, been quite a "hobby" of mine.
Always soaked up everything I could find on the subject.
In quite a quandry now, I am only on here this morning, because it's been a habit of mine for years to come on the computer on a morning and read recovery sites.
I like this section of SR because, it has been very useful for asking questions I am not quite sure of about AVRT and getting excellent answers.
But, me fears I am going to have to find another subject to become a "hobby" rather than recovery sites!
sainos is offline  
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
ardy (10-18-2016), Bobbieka (10-20-2016), Dee74 (10-18-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), Jack16 (10-19-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), jazzfish (10-19-2016), MesaMan (10-18-2016), MythOfSisyphus (10-19-2016), sg1970 (10-18-2016), Steely (11-17-2016), undertow321 (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 02:54 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
CelticZebra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 495
I think you've already answered your own quandary in your post!
Find a hobby!
recovery websites, books, knowledge, etc are not going to keep you fulfilled in life.
It's time to find the life you want without drinking by finding about what you enjoy, why your here, a purpose, a point, a pet? A new project, a job? Volunteering, helping others, exercise, relationships based on mutual respect etc

Life is not lived online and it requires more motivation sometimes to change our habits that we have outgrown to then relearn new ones to our own benefit IMO.

Go get 'em!

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
CelticZebra is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to CelticZebra For This Useful Post:
ardy (10-18-2016), Bobbieka (10-20-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), Jack16 (10-19-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), NoelleR (10-20-2016), Notimetoloose (10-25-2016), sainos (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 04:59 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I don't think that's uncommon. I ebb and flow. But I also know that when I distance myself from my recovery I'm usually getting a complacent attitude. Have you tried F2F support?
entropy1964 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to entropy1964 For This Useful Post:
ardy (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 07:34 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
It's uncommon for me!
I see it as a sign of growing health. I am back in control, and I want to do more things with my new found freedom than the unhealthy interest I (?) have had in drinking over the years (unhealthy interest in it when I have either been drinking or "in recovery")
That has been my Beasts interest, IT loves face to face meetings too. Me, I'm not too keen, the Beast has won more than once over me, having other people's Beasts back IT up and give IT ideas, while I was being talked into the "fact" that I couldn't do it on my own.
Thank you for your concern though Frickaflip
sainos is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
ardy (10-18-2016), flame11 (11-03-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), MesaMan (10-18-2016), MythOfSisyphus (10-19-2016), Sohard (02-07-2018)
Old 10-18-2016, 07:35 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,631
I too have walked the halls of recovery sites for years. It was only when I landed at SR, with a question regarding tapering from excessive daily imbibing, that I found the Secular Connections thread. Thereby, becoming reacquainted with the Rational Recovery cure: that I'd discounted out of hand, many years ago.

The life-changing difference? My reading of the AVRT explained Six Part thread, Freshstart's sticky thread and starting my own thread here. In addition to the other material, the responses and PMs I received, clarified my questions and enabled me to set in concrete, a foundation for sobriety: AVRT. I'm sorry if I repeat myself, but I feel reborn, in control, empowered.

So, I'm also in a quandary, I'm not counting sobriety days, not white-knuckling, not seeking recovery support, not requiring the reading of SR folks' sad tales, to ensure I don't forget how bad my addiction was and commit to recovery, one day at a time.

As I rebuild my life after my Big Plan, that I will never drink again, I still am willing to spend some time here; because I wish to 'pay it forward'. But my quandary is, do I view only the posts of folks who land on the 'Secular Connections' part of SR. Or do I also view and post on Newcomers?

As one who lost years, ineffectively, by following the recovery movement etc., I now have a huge commitment to spreading the word - regarding the alternative.
Fusion is offline  
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Fusion For This Useful Post:
Algorithm (10-18-2016), ardy (10-18-2016), flame11 (11-03-2016), freshstart57 (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), Jack16 (10-19-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), jazzfish (10-19-2016), MesaMan (10-18-2016), sainos (10-18-2016), soberlicious (10-18-2016), Sohard (02-07-2018), Steely (11-17-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 07:38 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 22,142
I used to spend a lot of time here, too. I've cut it back a lot, but I still come here and read for a few minutes every day.

One of the great things about sobriety is learning that balance is possible, and letting go of my old, "All or Nothing," attitude.

You'll figure it out...I mean, this site is always going to be here when and if you need it or just want to stop in for a minute. It's a good reminder to me of where I came from. The posts from suffering newcomers remind me of how awful it can be and just how serious this problem is.

I forget who I am at my peril.
biminiblue is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
ardy (10-18-2016), FarToGo (10-18-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), jazzfish (10-19-2016), MesaMan (10-18-2016), sainos (10-18-2016), Steely (11-17-2016), undertow321 (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 07:45 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,206
Never hurts to take a little vacation but,
I keep an eye on myself and my sobriety
and I don't let myself drift away for too long
I've been there and once again ended up in la la land.

It seems that staying close to recovery is a type of insurance plan ???

M-Bob
Mountainmanbob is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mountainmanbob For This Useful Post:
jaynie04 (10-18-2016), sainos (10-19-2016), Steely (11-17-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 07:48 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Originally Posted by Tatsy View Post
I too have walked the halls of recovery sites for years. It was only when I landed at SR, with a question regarding tapering from excessive daily imbibing, that I found the Secular Connections thread. Thereby, becoming reacquainted with the Rational Recovery cure: that I'd discounted out of hand, many years ago.

The life-changing difference? My reading of the AVRT explained Six Part thread, Freshstart's sticky thread and starting my own thread here. In addition to the other material, the responses and PMs I received, clarified my questions and enabled me to set in concrete, a foundation for sobriety: AVRT. I'm sorry if I repeat myself, but I feel reborn, in control, empowered.

So, I'm also in a quandary, I'm not counting sobriety days, not white-knuckling, not seeking recovery support, not requiring the reading of SR folks' sad tales, to ensure I don't forget how bad my addiction was and commit to recovery, one day at a time.

As I rebuild my life after my Big Plan, that I will never drink again, I still am willing to spend some time here; because I wish to 'pay it forward'. But my quandary is, do I view only the posts of folks who land on the 'Secular Connections' part of SR. Or do I also view and post on Newcomers?

As one who lost years, ineffectively, by following the recovery movement etc., I now have a huge commitment to spreading the word - regarding the alternative.
You sound great Tatsy, it's not that I am not going to come on here (obviously since I am here haha) but I was a tad obsessive over the whole recovery site thing!
Maybe a few months down the line, I will want to enlighten people to AVRT, but I really want to find my own feet first. My Beast lurvves a lot of the peoples attitudes in Newcomers and while I know for sure, I will never go back on my Big Plan, at this stage, I can do without the aggravation haha.
For now, I read some posts in here, and the ones that take my fancy in Newcomers, I think I am "tapering" off recovery sites haha
sainos is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
freshstart57 (10-18-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), jazzfish (10-19-2016), Steely (11-17-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 07:51 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
ardy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Blog Entries: 13
love you all so much.. don't know what I would have done if I had not found this SR Site.... funny don't remember how I did.. but you have helped so much... know that I am not on as much as I was.. time pulls you in so many circles of life.... but prayers Dear Hearts to so many and time to find out what Life really wants you to do.. love a Mom
ardy is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ardy For This Useful Post:
Fusion (10-18-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), sainos (10-19-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 07:57 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
bimi and M-bob...the whole point of avrt is knowing I will never drink again, yes? Therefore it won't matter to my drinking or not drinking whether I continue reading recovery sites or not, as they nor anything else to do with "ongoing recovery" ever stopped me drinking.
I was just saying that, I seem to have lost my obssesive interest in anything to do with drink.
I won't ever forget the pain drink has caused me and my family, but I don't have to remember it to not do it again..I only have to keep myself open to any stirrings from the Beast, and recognise them for what they are.
I'll never completely stop coming on sites, because they are about people, and I still find people very interesting. But it was very unhealthy what I was doing.
sainos is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
biminiblue (10-18-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), jazzfish (10-19-2016), Mountainmanbob (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 08:05 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,631
Thank you Sainos, you're sounding great too! I'm so busy clearing the wreckage field of my past addiction, that I haven't yet posted on my own thread. I have lots to say and wish to do my visitors justice in words, for their absolutely invaluable guidance.

And yes (are you reading my mind) I too want to find my feet before offering guidance; I'm still in a bit of a euphoric whirlwind, which might put folks off, thinking it's not possible to become recovered, so quickly. I'm very mindful of that.

Plus, I read Newcomers thread posts and feel so sad, recognising their AV, at the same time recognising that they call it AV - but they're completely off the mark. Instead, being led by the ring in the nose to the drinking trough by IT, which they don't recognise as the actual AV, because they haven't studied AVRT.

It's SO frustrating and I feel so sorry for them, because I too suffered for years and years, without the key to sobriety.

In retrospect, I believe the years I spent on recovery sites, whilst not actually addressing my addiction to alcohol, simply researching it, keeping the Beast happy; became an addiction in itself. So yes, I understand your OP and must be mindful of that fact and ensure balance.
I'm glad you're sticking around, as shall I.
Fusion is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Fusion For This Useful Post:
Algorithm (10-18-2016), freshstart57 (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016), jazzfish (10-19-2016), Kaily (10-30-2016), sainos (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 08:12 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
You hit the nail on the head Tatsy about how I feel about offering advice on the Newcomers thread. There seems to be a lot of misconception about about the AV and no one could really give a full picture of what AVRT is about in a simple paragraph. Then it would just end up everything getting bogged down in the mire.
One day, I would hope to do as you say "pay it forward" if anyone came asking questions about AVRT, like the great people on this secular forum have done for me.
And your input was invaluable to me when I was dithering haha
sainos is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
Fusion (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), jaynie04 (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 08:14 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
jaynie04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
A bit part of my sobriety was beginning to notice how much of the world isn't focused on drinking. At the end of my drinking I had attached it to everything, and as time passed after I got sober I became more and more delighted to realize that most of the world isn't that concerned with alcohol. I realized how skewed my perspective had become as I adjusted to the world as a non-drinker. Being out among the public doing healthy, normal things provided constant reinforcement of how easy life was without being shackled to the bottle.

Drinking gradually fills up all the space in our life. Sobriety reclaims what we have relinquished. I think there is a huge difference once we embrace the concept of "I don't drink" versus "I can't drink". "I don't drink" is an active, present and future oriented mindset. "I can't drink" is a passive mindset that keeps us chained to the past and looking backward.

Usually when I read about people struggling in the newcomer's forum it is because they are stuck in the "I can't drink" mode, feeling deprived and as if they will be missing something. It is staggering to see the shift once someone embraces the concept of "I don't drink". It is empowering and liberating and it diminishes the space that drinking or even thinking about drinking takes up in your life.
jaynie04 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to jaynie04 For This Useful Post:
Algorithm (10-18-2016), freshstart57 (10-18-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), Jack16 (10-19-2016), jazzfish (10-19-2016), MesaMan (10-18-2016), Sohard (02-07-2018), undertow321 (10-18-2016), Upstairs (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 08:27 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Well said jaynie!!
Thinking of myself as a non-drinker, is wonderful! Over the years either drinking or "working on" not drinking, has practically taken over who I am, and who I see myself as. I have forgotton who I was! Or who I can be.
I don't want to spend the rest of my life defined as a person in relation to drink.
Drinking, in all it's forms, did fill up all the space in my life, either doing it, or not doing it.
And yet just one activity in the human spectrum
sainos is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
Fusion (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 08:27 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 31
So watcha gunna do with all that time, Sainos? What are you into?

I can't blame you for what you were typing about how you feel-- I've been here a couple weeks and I already get that. In a sense it's helpful, as sometimes you see someone else write something that strikes you as so gratuitously negative, and you realize you do the same thing, in your own way.

It's also good to see commonalities--it's become quite clear to me that drinking is a symptom of poor mental health. So I've been tackling that way harder then the drinking, and so far I'm making leaps in short time. Lets face it-- the happy don't have room for being drunk or hungover all the time, as it's a massive inconvenience.

So long story short, it's extremely beneficial. But also lets keep in mind that mingling with people that are mentally healthy, in the real world, is also extremely beneficial. And those folks tend to have hobbies... so go get out there!!

I made my first mentally healthy and sober friend already and it's really good. She's a fellow neighbourhood Mom, of a toddler the same age as my kid, from the same cultural background as me, and we both got into home canning. She pickles, I pressure can. I bring her soups, she gives me pickles. Man can that chick pickle! We text throughout the day here and there. It's so refreshing.... I am defo open to more of those connections.

Anyway, have fun, there's a beautiful world out there... you just need to notice it
Bulgakova is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Bulgakova For This Useful Post:
MesaMan (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 08:55 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
I agree with you on some things, but not others
I sorted my mental health out years ago. I found it made no difference to my drinking, in AVRT drinking is pleausre seeking, no more, no less. When I suffered from depression years ago, for years, I never drank.
I didn't only drink when I was stressed, once it started, I sometimes drank because I felt good and healthy and happy and wanted to enhance that feeling. Or because I was with friends and family and wanted to celebrate.
I seemed to drink for any and all reasons. And with AVRT, I found THE reason why I drank..it felt good!

I don't believe drink is a "symptom" of anything. It stands in it's own right as a pleasure seeking activity.
sainos is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
Fusion (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), Upstairs (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 08:57 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
MesaMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,320
.
WAY back in the Stone Age, our Transplanted Brit Tennis Coach at High School imparted the wisdom that you get better at playing Tennis WHEN you play someone better. That sage advice stuck.

Having just hit 1,000 Days in recently, I realized I needed to inject that advice into my Sobriety Regimen. Quite some time ago, I realized I needed to hang with the Recovered. Cuz I are one. That is, Folks just getting on with their Lives. I meet them in Early Retirement at the Dog Park. At Parties. When out and about in our nice new RV Trailer. They everywhere! As are non-Drinkers in our seemingly Alcohol-obsessed Culture.

The occasional Story about The Early Days, or a lil [good] Trigger of how sick I was daily; recalling messing my Pants as my lower G.I. went out-of-control; recalling blowing off all kinds of things while being in that State called 'Persistent Stupor'; all these things remind me 'often enough' of what that now VERY undesirable State was like. I can't circle some imaginary Relapse like a Moth circling a Flame. That, in and of itself, is destructive, and not the elevated State I want to, and deserve to, live in. I'm nowhere near hanging in by only the Skin Of My Teeth, so there's no point in pretending that I am. Such is the irreversible beauty of The Big Plan.

I voluntarily take on less, and enjoy each thing more. If I'm mucking with some Technological Project, I am in that moment, and doing nothing else. It's really quite fabulous. Hell, I even drive wherever I want to pre-Dawn, or at Night! Whatta concept, eh?

Be sure to forge your own balance of how much you need to immerse in some former State of Alcoholism. Forge your own State thereof, and your balance.

A Pundit here at invaluable SR mentioned that it was at about the 3 year mark that he felt as though he was finally a non-Drinker. That's pretty much the trajectory I'm on, with 3 Years in being next January.

I'm hitting Sobriety now with the intensity of how I hit my Drinking over 42 Years of it.

Been there. Drank that. Movin' on. If that sounds Normal, it's because - to me - it is.
.
MesaMan is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to MesaMan For This Useful Post:
Bulgakova (10-18-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), jazzfish (10-19-2016), sainos (10-18-2016), undertow321 (10-18-2016), Upstairs (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 09:05 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
 
Algorithm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 847
Originally Posted by Tatsy View Post
I read Newcomers thread posts and feel so sad, recognising their AV, at the same time recognising that they call it AV - but they're completely off the mark. Instead, being led by the ring in the nose to the drinking trough by IT, which they don't recognise as the actual AV, because they haven't studied AVRT.
It helps to remember that they don't necessarily have a clear working definition of the Addictive Voice. The "alcoholic voice" they speak of in the RGM is not quite the same thing as the AV of AVRT, which is clearly defined. The "alcoholic voice", insofar as it suggests more using, is certainly a subset of the Addictive Voice of AVRT, however.

How can they recognize something when they don't know what to look for? How are they going to know that "I can't drink", as jaynie04 pointed out, is the Addictive Voice itself, suggesting that if they could drink, that they would drink?

Remember also that one of the main functions of the Addictive Voice is to conceal its existence and true nature from its host and from others. You have the the machinery of AVRT at your disposal, and also the lengthy AVRT discussion threads.

This is a remarkable thread.
Algorithm is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Algorithm For This Useful Post:
freshstart57 (10-18-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), Jack16 (10-19-2016), MesaMan (10-18-2016), sainos (10-18-2016), soberlicious (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 09:05 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Very nicely written MesaMan, and what I want to do for myself now.
But, I don't need 3 years to feel like a non drinker, I need to feel like I am now, so the 3 year mark will surely come around for me!
I remember (vaguely) becoming so engrossed in my hobby of crafting stuff, that I would lose all sense of time and space haha..It was wonderful, that and sharing that hobby with others.
sainos is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
Fusion (10-18-2016), MesaMan (10-18-2016)
Old 10-18-2016, 09:12 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Originally Posted by Algorithm View Post
It helps to remember that they don't necessarily have a clear working definition of the Addictive Voice. The "alcoholic voice" they speak of in the RGM is not quite the same thing as the AV of AVRT, which is clearly defined. The "alcoholic voice", insofar as it suggests more using, is certainly a subset of the Addictive Voice of AVRT, however.

How can they recognize something when they don't know what to look for? How are they going to know that "I can't drink", as jaynie04 pointed out, is the Addictive Voice itself, suggesting that if they could drink, that they would drink?

Remember also that one of the main functions of the Addictive Voice is to conceal its existence and true nature from its host and from others. You have the the machinery of AVRT at your disposal, and also the lengthy AVRT discussion threads.

This is a remarkable thread.
See this is where after doing Smart for years, I was getting the AV of Smart mixed with the AV of the Beast in AVRT!
In Smart, it was always MY av and I would dispute it, treat it as a salesman trying to sell me someting, play the tape, try to silence it, giving it attention.
Instead of thinking "Thats the Beast, wanting drink" and dismissing IT's wants
sainos is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to sainos For This Useful Post:
Algorithm (10-18-2016), Fusion (10-18-2016), GerandTwine (10-19-2016), soberlicious (10-18-2016)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:05 AM.