tursiops999

thanks SR friends. Just posting and hearing your feedback helped me remember several things ... one is, that I am often hit with beast activity this time of year, as my work is seasonal and March/April is always a tiring time. I've had two days off now, and am starting to feel relieved and more comfortable ... you're right Gary, that was what I was truly craving, some way to get comfortable. Fortunately all I really needed was some time and space to decompress and take care of myself.

You hit it on the head, dwtbd, about me allowing too much credence to the idea of relief from a drink. I think I mistakenly opened that door. In some recent SR posts, there has been some useful discussion about not counting entirely on "playing the tape through", remembering negative consequences, as the sole basis of sobriety. That we can choose to abstain from the pleasure, as well as the pain, caused by alcohol. But there's a difference between knowing that my big plan was made with full recognition of all the effects of alcohol, good and bad, and allowing the beast's nostalgia or longing to blend with my own thoughts. I did separate and dismiss the thoughts as the beast's, but looking back my response time was very slow ... I let it linger, which only encouraged it to persist. Not beating myself up, just trying to see more clearly what I was allowing to happen in my mind.

Anyway, the big plan and the technique of labeling the vertigo took care of it. I feel much better with just a couple of days' rest. Thanks for the support.

dwtbd

Good to hear, don't forget to do something fun

Fusion

Hi Tursiops, so glad you identified the vertigo and achieved equilibrium.

I drafted a reply to your original post, but deleted it, because Dwtbd answered far better than I did. I was waffling on about the amount of energy the neo-cortex uses, compared to the base brain, impact of stress and tiredness upon the neo-cortex and base brain....waffle, waffle, the neo-cortex uses half a tic-tac to control the base brain, the base brain requires far less and monitors the glucose levels and sends out alarm signals...and on and on.

Then it struck me, the brilliance of AVRT, is that it encompasses all of that in a nutshell. I've often wondered why RR didn't expand upon the origins of addiction in greater detail - but then realised it didn't matter!

Once the Big Plan is made, the neo-cortex (Us the great inhibitor) trounces the base-brain (Beast and ITs AV) no matter how, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Bored or Stressed we become. Because the base-brain works a millisecond or so faster than than the neo-cortex, the Big Plan acts as an automatic brake. It's really revolutionary.

Fusion

Just bumping this fabulous thread! Such awesome insight. I do hope a newcomer stumbles upon it and reclaims their life from addiction, as I did here in Secular on SR. Although, please let me make it clear, if you're religious/spiritual, this type of method still applies.

tursiops999

Thanks, Tatsy! I'm vacationing in sunny Crete, and it's glorious.

My goofball beast piped up when I first got here... the owner of an apartment we rented left us a small carafe of Raki as a "welcome", and many of the restaurants bring out a complimentary glass of Raki with dessert and the check (bill). My beast was feeling sorry for itself, "poor me, can't have any Raki". I had to laugh though, because I don't think I've ever had Raki in my life so couldn't possibly be "missing" it. And I never liked hard liquor and only drank wine. The beast is so ridiculous, it will say anything.

Meanwhile, I feel great and am enjoying long hikes every day. Sobriety rocks.

Fusion

Tursiops, it's fantastic to read your update! Crete sounds idyllic. Had to chuckle at 'goofball beast'. I call mine dumb beast, it asked for a tot of whiskey when I was sat next to a whiskey drinker.......and I hated the taste of whiskey, ever since I illicitly sipped out of my father's glass, when I was a teenager and spat it out, never to try again.

I'm loving my new lease of life, enjoying clarity of mind and consequent attending to matters and future planning; instead of reacting to the chaos I'd created or allowed to fester by inattention. It's so scary how that unacceptable life crept up on me as I drank, how it became my new normality. I was so blinkered. Still, that's in the past and I'm so relieved and grateful that I will never drink again.

SoberHoopsFan

I had a similar experience with the "welcome" gift at a couple resorts on my recent honeymoon, they left us what looked to be expensive bottles of champagne in our room when we first checked in. My beast was actually quieter than I would have expected, and the unopened bottles of champagne just sat there for our entire stay in both resorts. Sober honeymoon rocked too, we did so many wonderful things and I know that alcohol would have robbed me of all of those great memories and experiences.

tursiops999

Yes Hoops, it's a great freedom, isn't it? There's been alcohol all around me this trip, but it holds no power. Glad you enjoyed your sober honeymoon!