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The 6 month hump and addressing it with buddhist practices

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The 6 month hump and addressing it with buddhist practices

Old 01-09-2016, 07:33 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thumbs up

YES, thank you ZerotheHero, very much.
You have the ability to distill your experience in a way that I find very helpful.
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Old 01-10-2016, 06:07 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I don't know if I have much to add, but I have noticed a significant shift in my relationship to my thoughts because of daily meditation. If my thoughts are a river, instead of standing in the middle be helplessly pushed along, meditation provides a rock for me to stand on and observe the thoughts.
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Old 01-10-2016, 01:26 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jazzfish View Post
meditation provides a rock for me to stand on and observe the thoughts.
This. And many things are possible when one can objectively observe one's own thoughts and emotions. Personally, I've come to realize just how ethereal and transient my thoughts and emotions really are; and that realization has freed me from the illusion that whatever I'm feeling or thinking in any particular moment is permanent.
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Old 01-12-2016, 09:42 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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That is what I want to do, thank you.
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Old 02-03-2016, 01:04 PM
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Hi Kuebiko,

how are things working out for you?

S
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Old 02-05-2016, 05:41 PM
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Hi svenissober, thanks for asking, I am fine as far as not drinking which is what I expected to be at this point.

I am irritable however, because I want to be rid of my current relationship and he is clinging on.
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Old 02-05-2016, 06:17 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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When it comes to relationships, sometimes you gotta be nasty and brutish in order to cut it short. That's the Hobbesian state of relationships.

Not that you have to be mean, but having grown up with three sisters I've witnessed this phenomenon. One must be firm and clear with clingers. Like the stray dog that won't leave you alone. You don't have to throw rocks at him, but it may require a loud, "Git!"
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:21 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Heheheh, nice reference to the Hobbesian way, Zerothehero, 'nasty and brutish in order to to cut it short' !
I am not good at being mean (without being really drunk, in which case it would be ensured), or much good at being assertive over this stuff, so learning how to express oneself assertively is the goal.

Thoughts:

1) It is great to have a people-problem that is not caused by alcohol.
2) It is wonderful not to feel frustrated over something like this, then get drunk in response, be abusive and crazy toward the person you wanted space from, and to then set in train guilt and apologies toward them, tightening the ropes that you were trying to be free of in the first place because alcohol has added a new layer of muck to the situation and you're now in deeper than ever before, grovelling for forgiveness to someone who you just should have been honest with in the first place......

Ahhh yes, I remember other times where this has happened.

Funny really!!!!

~

In other news, I'm not counting days but still alcohol free from when I first joined this forum on Jan 1st.

Thanks for inviting me back into a chat, svenissober; it has been a couple of weeks.
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:28 PM
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And yes, I know you weren't recommending being mean. That's the trouble see ....... I've felt such pain (as we all have, having been bad drinkers), we are all loathe to make a situation happen that would give rise to pain for anyone else.

It does feel a bit Hobbesian though, when you feel like you have to 'fight' for your patch of space (head space or otherwise), so to speak....

Just... needed...some... goddam...breathing room..... so I could think and then articulate!
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Old 02-07-2016, 07:20 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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It seems to me, and maybe this is in part about getting older or just maturing, but sobriety cultivates a kind of middle way. Instead of searching for extremes of ecstasy that inevitably rebound into extremes of pain (or drama), I tend to be content with a steady mind. No desire to get blasted. No attraction to drama. Just be and observe. This is another way I think Buddhism or mindfulness intersects with recovery. We learn to be okay with the mundane. Boredom is not a kind of suffering anymore, but a welcomed state of calm and peace. I still go to concerts and festivals and get out and explore, but that's more about appreciating art and beauty rather than seeking a peak experience. This can rub off in relationships. In early sobriety things were pretty rocky with my wife. After a couple of years of sobriety we've settled into a comfortable synergy. Is it perfect? No. But meditation has helped me cultivate acceptance - for myself, our relationship, and our situation, in general. Sometimes we strive so hard for a better life, and crave more and more of whatever - stuff, experiences... - but when I sit and open my heart I am reminded that I have all I need, right here, right now.
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Old 12-26-2020, 02:21 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ZTH
This is another way I think Buddhism or mindfulness intersects with recovery. We learn to be okay with the mundane. Boredom is not a kind of suffering anymore, but a welcomed state of calm and peace.
The middle path perhaps is anything like mundane/
boredom. I would suggest the participator resembles those traits and not Buddhism. Calm can foster from a very fun skydive BTW. Where do you measure your calm?
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Old 07-08-2021, 09:47 PM
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Originally Posted by zerothehero View Post
The Four Noble Truths are what drew me to Buddhism when I first got sober:

1. The truth of suffering.

Yes, I was suffering, and the more I drowned it in alcohol the worse the suffering became.

2. The truth of the cause of suffering.

The cause is craving or thirst. Duh. Who better than an alcoholic can tell you that their suffering is caused by craving and thirst?

3. The truth of the end of suffering.

Basically, that suffering can end (in my case I was just hoping to decrease my angst and anxiety).

4. The truth of the path that frees us from suffering.

This is where the work starts: Right view, intention, speech, action, livelihood, effort, mindfulness, and concentration.

It's a practice and a way to approach the suffering of life. I think the word APPROACH is key, especially for addicts. Suffering is not to be avoided or drowned or ignored. It must be addressed, and the Eightfold Path does so.

Shambhala meditation training, for example, calls their practitioners "warriors," but these are warriors not in the sense of those who do battle through violence, but warriors in the sense that following the path requires a warrior's courage and tenacity.

Substances appear to be the easy way out, and they often are (temporarily), until the addiction becomes yet another cause of suffering. Many Buddhist traditions prohibit intoxicants, but not all. Once I got into regular meditation and mindfulness, it began to sink in that intoxication interferes with concentration and mindfulness, and for many it interferes with at least some if not all of the other six folds of the path (action and speech, in particular).

I watched an interview with Kevin Griffin who writes about Buddhism and recovery, and he was sharing that Buddhism provided the path and tools to stay sober for decades now, especially for a guy who has no theistic faith. His newest book focuses on concepts like integrity; aligning our behaviors with our values. I'm with him there. My point for bringing him up, though, is he recognized the need for spiritual practice, and that recovery is not just about abstaining from substances, so Buddhism is a practical spiritual path but with no mention of god.

I think it was Trungpa Rinpoche who explained once when he was asked about god that it's not really a question of whether or not God or gods exist because the question is essentially irrelevant. There are Buddhist prayers, for example, but they are not prayers to god; they are practices.

The more I read about mindfulness and the more I meditate the more I sense that I have all that I need. All the things that were driving me to near madness only a year ago have bit by bit appeared to me as basically trivial. I continue my practice not because I believe I'm going to get anything more out of it, but because without it I would slide. There is a lot of scientific evidence now, not just anecdotal, to support the idea that the practice leads to measurable changes in the brain. Maybe I'm experiencing a type of self-hypnosis as if I have convinced myself that I can feel it, but I feel it nevertheless.

I am not the person I was two years, a year, or even six months ago. Part of it could be distance from alcohol and weed and LSD, but I'm convinced I'm happier because of mindfulness and meditation. Rick Hanson, who wrote Hardwiring Happiness and Buddha's Brain can share the research with you. Good stuff.

So, I may sound like I'm proselytizing, but it's working for me. No faith and no expectations; I'm just walking the path and taking notice of the changes.
So helpful! Thanks zerothehero. I am on the bench of being a changed person through meditation and mindfulness, too. I am enjoying the lack of fear and shame that comes with that path.
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