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Old 09-06-2015, 01:33 PM
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...holds the key
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Laborday

Last Labor Day I had a death wish. I distinctly remember Labor Day weekend last year literally trying to drink myself to death...that way it would look like an accident and not a deliberate act. To say I loathed myself is an understatement. My drinking had cost me my marriage and career. On top of that I now had a lengthy booze related criminal record. I had traded my morals, self respect and dignity for alcohol.

I could see no way out. I thought I had to somehow fix my problems BEFORE I could ever quit drinking. Totally impossible. And so the cycle continued until I came across this community last December. And Specifically this forum.

I read freshstarts sticky. Then I read the RR crash course. It clicked. For the first time in years I felt hope. I realized if I stopped drinking my depression and self hatred would start to subside and I would then be able to work on other problems. And for the first time in a very long time I felt empowered. It was such a turning point to realize I already had everything inside me I needed to quit drinking forever.

What a difference a year makes. Last Labor Day I was hopeless, suicidal and depressed. This Labor Day I am empowered, deliberate and confident.

Thanks to everyone who contributes to this forum. You never know how your share could literally help save someone's life.
Xoxo
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Old 09-06-2015, 01:42 PM
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Thank you, brynn, this post is so full of life!!!!!!

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Old 09-06-2015, 01:43 PM
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Your post has so helped me today. Thank you.
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Old 09-06-2015, 03:44 PM
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great post brynn - thank you

enjoy this labor day!

D
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Old 09-06-2015, 03:47 PM
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I love it, Brynn! Wonderful words.
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Old 09-06-2015, 04:08 PM
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This Labor Day I am empowered, deliberate and confident.
Brava, Brynn! Onward!
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Old 09-07-2015, 06:44 AM
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Great post
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Old 09-07-2015, 07:17 AM
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Brynn, what a great post. I have really enjoyed reading your posts over the last year!
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Old 09-07-2015, 08:20 AM
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Thanks for the support, y'all!

I'm entering into unknown territory on so many fronts these days.

Some of you may know that my partner is in rehab. His boss gave him an ultimatum...rehab or be fired. Anyway...he went to rehab with the intention of picking up where he left off after, but it seems he's had a change of heart and is ready to give sobriety a chance. Our lives are changing drastically and it's scary. I've never known him sober.

Ive also been accepted into graduate school and will start in January! None of this would be possible if I was still drinking. Drinking took up all my time and attention and there wasn't room for anything else in my life. I'm still amazed at how much life I was missing out on! Never again. Life is good!
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Old 09-07-2015, 08:34 AM
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While I was drinking, I thought about how limiting being sober would be. All I could think of were all the things that habitually involved alcohol that would be taken from me.

Now I see how confining that was, and how my life is fuller, richer, busier, happier. I still do many of those things I used to due while drinking, but now I really enjoy them, and I can even remember them!

Congratulations, Brynn. Change is indeed scary, but it is how we grow. Graduate school is exciting - I am sure it will be what you need it to be. You are doing just great with your new you.
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Old 09-07-2015, 10:38 AM
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Hi brynn,
Just wanted to comment, I know we have a similar sobriety date and it's super awesome to be able to identify with your progress! I am doing a lot now to that simply would NOT happen if I were drinking and it is exciting!

Keep up the good work and congrats!

Justin
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Old 09-07-2015, 03:53 PM
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Funny you mention confining, freshstart.
By the end of my drinking career my world had become so very small. If I wasn't at work, I was sitting in the corner of my couch drinking. My world had basically become one couch cushion. Pathetic! By the way....I got rid of that couch when I quit drinking. Couldn't stand looking at it much less sitting on it!

And justin....we are both learning to live again. So cool we share the same quit date!
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Old 09-07-2015, 04:49 PM
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Yes! I so understand about that small world. Slowly, with some tools, I am enlarging that world back to how I looked at things as a small child. Watching my 3 old grandson dance around and jump is what I want!
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Old 09-08-2015, 03:51 PM
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Excellent post Brynn
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