this is some seriously cool stuff
 

So I'm about halfway thru reading Rational Recovery and I hardly even think about the pills. I take my tiny little sliver in the morning and go thru my day. I'm in mild withdrawal but it's nothing I can't handle so I just go about my day.

I'm not scared of detoxing like I was before. I feel different. I'm ready to take another step down so we are going to do just that tomorrow.

It was so funny. I was at work walking down the hall and my AV said hey, a pill would be nice, this tapering sucks. I said out loud, Shut Up B$@&!
It was hilarious. Nothing more was said for the rest of the day.

I've always hated that voice and never knew why it was happening. It's tried to get me to commit suicide a few times I think and it has never solved a damn thing.
I'm doing well!

Nice one, peanut.

Sounds like you've got it, peanut! Well done!!

For me, the Big Plan really solidified when I understood that it didn't matter a hair what my AV did. I'd been through a couple experiences made new by the lack of alcohol, and I got through them. After that, I knew the AV could do anything, it could do its worst, and it would not change a thing about my Big Plan.

Once the AV was made and understood to be made irrelevant, and experienced to be made irrelevant, things got easier and smoother. That was when I added something to my BP, so it changed to:

I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind. BOOYAH. For maybe the first time in my life, I felt like a badass. I did it! Onward!

Interesting day......
 

So this is the first day off since I've been studying and applying Rational Recovery.
Now when I think I want/need extra or I think "this taper sucks, what am i going to do without pills, i can't take the thought seriously. Because i know that it's just my stupid AV.
I often forget that I'm having cravings, and i don't think about suboxone much at all. I was talking about it all the time to my husband and now I'm doing that much, much less.
This is all new behavior for me, totally a different way of thinking that i honestly find very interesting and freeing. I'm on chapter 12 in the book and everything is still making sense.
I'm so glad i stumbled upon this! :)