Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Secular Recovery > Secular Connections
Reload this Page >

If we truly made a Big Plan, what are we doing here?

Blogs


Notices

If we truly made a Big Plan, what are we doing here?

Old 05-09-2015, 09:24 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
WhatBeast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 49
If we truly made a Big Plan, what are we doing here?

Shouldn't alcohol be entirely off our radar?
WhatBeast is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to WhatBeast For This Useful Post:
Cissy (05-14-2015), jazzfish (05-09-2015), Mrrryah1 (05-12-2015), silentrun (05-09-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 09:40 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 22,100
Lol. No one is forcing you to stay
biminiblue is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
jazzfish (05-09-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), Weaver (05-09-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 09:58 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Axiom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 346
Blog Entries: 3
I've had the same thought. I'm here because it does not harm my recovery and I really like hearing about the success of others, the reminder that one drink will activate my addiction and the insights offered by others around the world.

I'm on more of a SMART path than RR.

Take what you need, leave the rest.

Hope you are well.
Axiom is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Axiom For This Useful Post:
Cissy (05-14-2015), happybeingme (05-12-2015), jazzfish (05-09-2015), LBrain (05-12-2015), lillyknitting (05-17-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), Stewart888 (08-16-2015), Weaver (05-18-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 10:11 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
SDH73's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Boston, Mass
Posts: 1,000
Blog Entries: 1
For me, there are other things that I'm dealing with that I attribute to the years of drinking. Periods of depression, brain fog, life on life's terms type stuff. The BP addresses getting and staying sober, but not so much learning to live sober. Which, in my case at least, can be pretty challenging at times.
SDH73 is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to SDH73 For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-09-2015), CelticZebra (05-11-2015), Cissy (05-14-2015), happybeingme (05-12-2015), jazzfish (05-09-2015), JD4010 (10-09-2015), Justincredible (05-10-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), LBrain (05-12-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 11:17 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Better when never is never
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
As someone who does planning for a living, I know that plans and decisions can and do change all the time. I am here to remind myself that my plan and decision to no never drink again is the right one during the period of time it takes my brain to recover from years of abuse.
jazzfish is offline  
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to jazzfish For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-12-2015), Cissy (05-14-2015), dwtbd (05-10-2015), FoundmySelf (05-18-2015), happybeingme (05-12-2015), Jake1961 (05-09-2015), JD4010 (10-09-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), LBrain (05-12-2015), SDH73 (05-09-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), Stewart888 (08-16-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 11:26 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,911
Blog Entries: 69
Well, for me making a firm decision means just that: a choice and then a plan. We then need to implement the plan, make it work in a practical way. I do not believe it happens just magically with something as serious as addiction. SR has been tremendously useful for me to achieve this in the beginning, both as source of information and company others who have successfully and stably achieved the same goal or have been working on it alongside myself.

These days I come here mostly the same way I go anywhere and do anything I'm interested in: because I enjoy the activity (the discussions). I made a few connections and friendships here that I really value. I come here to see how everyone's life is going. I enjoy helping others in need with advice and sharing experiences, when I can. I also like this community a lot for just general self work and improvement, which I have always been interested in.
Aellyce is offline  
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to Aellyce For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-12-2015), brynn (05-10-2015), dwtbd (05-10-2015), happybeingme (05-12-2015), jazzfish (05-09-2015), Justincredible (05-10-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), LBrain (05-12-2015), Mikie9 (07-23-2015), SDH73 (05-09-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), Stewart888 (08-16-2015), ultradad (07-14-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 12:30 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Self recovered Self discovered
 
freshstart57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,147
I am here (if that really is your question) to tell others that they can choose to quit, become mindful to the extent that choice can be exercised over drinking in that tenth of a second that counts, and to know that they will not drink again. Ever.

No recovery process, no daily reprieve, no relapse, and no fear.

Alcohol will never be off my radar. My consumption of it, however, is so off it is like really really totally and absolutely off.
freshstart57 is offline  
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to freshstart57 For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-12-2015), brynn (05-10-2015), Carlotta (05-12-2015), dwtbd (05-10-2015), happybeingme (05-12-2015), jazzfish (05-09-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), LBrain (05-12-2015), marie5465 (05-10-2015), MesaMan (05-09-2015), Nonsensical (05-10-2015), SDH73 (05-09-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), ultradad (07-14-2015), Weaver (05-09-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 01:16 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 480
Helping others. I would have never gotten sober had it not been for freshstart57.

I am glad he was still here.
Weaver is offline  
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Weaver For This Useful Post:
brynn (05-10-2015), Carlotta (05-12-2015), dwtbd (05-10-2015), FoundmySelf (05-18-2015), freshstart57 (05-10-2015), happybeingme (05-12-2015), Justincredible (05-10-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), lillyknitting (05-17-2015), marie5465 (05-10-2015), MesaMan (05-10-2015), Mrrryah1 (05-12-2015), MythOfSisyphus (05-10-2015), Nonsensical (05-10-2015), SoberLeigh (05-12-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), Stewart888 (08-16-2015), Venecia (06-30-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 02:31 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
JeffreyAK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
I personally don't follow RR, was more of a LifeRing type until that organization started going downhill - now I'm a non-denominational secular sobrietist who likes to help other folks where possible and keep at least a toehold in recovery world so I don't ever forget. I've experienced too much to believe you can make decision and then just shut off your brain about it forever more.
JeffreyAK is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to JeffreyAK For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-12-2015), BadSneakers (05-11-2015), happybeingme (05-12-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), LBrain (05-12-2015), Mikie9 (07-23-2015), Nonsensical (05-10-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), Weaver (05-18-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 02:47 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Wollongong NSW
Posts: 241
I wasn't sure at first if I should answer the question as it seems to be in relation to those with a "Big Plan" and I am not one of those. But I will follow the trend of others and answer the question "why am I here?"
The strange thing for me is when I was contemplating the question my head started to come up with stock standard answers drilled in my head from other recovery programs, one liners like "if you want to keep it you have to share it". (Funny how old messages jump in like that). I don't hold onto ideas today that sobriety is contingent on sharing, however I see some value in remaining a part of recovery communities for rich and robust living as a abstinent person. I enjoy encouraging others to bring critical thinking skills, positive skepticism and challenging questions to their own recovery narratives and continue to do the same for myself. I like this little corner of SR for the most part people here are less dogmatic then many other recovery sites, there are plenty of discussions that are stimulating and almost no drunka logs.
A
samseb5351 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to samseb5351 For This Useful Post:
CelticZebra (05-11-2015), happybeingme (05-12-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 05:18 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
MesaMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,319
What Freshstart57 said twice...

He, or another Luminary here, previously stated their 'Process'. Mine was pretty much identical to theirs. I up and quit - as was done for Millennia prior to the last Century - but 'gave that Process a name' by joining up here a few months later and learning of RR. I knew hadn't I reinvented the Wheel in doing what I did. Recovered Pals I meet now out and about in the World reiterate that plenty of us have taken the Path - a very liberating one - that is best for us.

When fellow Free Thinkers wander by here, it's reassuring to convey to them the sensibility and feasibility of taking charge of their own Recovery with plenty of Virtual support.
.
MesaMan is online now  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to MesaMan For This Useful Post:
brynn (05-10-2015), CelticZebra (05-11-2015), Creekryder (05-12-2015), dwtbd (05-10-2015), FoundmySelf (05-18-2015), freshstart57 (05-10-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), LBrain (05-12-2015), Nonsensical (05-10-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-09-2015, 07:13 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
voices ca**y
 
silentrun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 3,822
Blog Entries: 1
When I quit it was no longer an option but it was far from off the radar. This putting myself back together is hard work.
silentrun is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to silentrun For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-12-2015), Carlotta (05-12-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), MesaMan (05-10-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 12:15 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,539
It's true- one could make their Big Plan, act on it and never log into SR again. Nothing wrong with that at all. I stay because I like the community, I like being reminded why I made my BP and I want to help others who are struggling with booze like I used to struggle.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to MythOfSisyphus For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-12-2015), brynn (05-10-2015), Creekryder (05-12-2015), dwtbd (05-10-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), MesaMan (05-10-2015), Solarion (05-10-2015), ultradad (07-14-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 02:25 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
marie5465's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 35
I for one am very grateful that y'all did stick around! I wonder if I'd ever have worked it out for myself if this thread hadn't have been here. I still check in here, though I don't post much. For me it's a bit like surviving some kind of disaster, wondering how your fellow survivors got out and how they are doing but also being on hand to help those that are still struggling to escape. Maybe an over dramatic analogy, but my life was starting to go down faster than the titanic till I made my Big Plan. Thank you Freshstart et al for sticking around and to TU for starting this discussion so long ago.

marie5465 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to marie5465 For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-12-2015), brynn (05-10-2015), CelticZebra (05-11-2015), dwtbd (05-10-2015), FoundmySelf (05-18-2015), freshstart57 (05-10-2015), jazzfish (05-10-2015), MesaMan (05-10-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 03:36 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,713
Blog Entries: 20
Originally Posted by Weaver View Post
Helping others. I would have never gotten sober had it not been for freshstart57.

I am glad he was still here.
+1

There were several others who helped rip the scales from my eyes as well.

Spreading the word that there are alternative paths to sobriety. Some people don't know. I didn't.
Nonsensical is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Nonsensical For This Useful Post:
brynn (05-10-2015), dwtbd (05-10-2015), FoundmySelf (05-18-2015), freshstart57 (05-10-2015), jazzfish (05-10-2015), MesaMan (05-10-2015), ultradad (07-14-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 07:45 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
quat
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,700
As far as participating in online communities, this is the most relevant to me. Learning about and then making my BP changed my perspective on addiction , not quite a 180 degree swing. I never thought any program would "work" for me, as I was never comfortable with a disease model, even though I had implicitly accepted the core idea and just gave fuel to the AV 's fire and allowed me to keep continuing the cycle.
Finding out about RR and AVRT pushed me passed those last 10 degrees in the arc of the swing and gave me the confidence (helped me find, pointed out the power resides within) to resolve to quit , full stop.
Coming here or not doesn't increase or decrease my resolve, it's more like a karmic debt to pass forward.
dwtbd is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to dwtbd For This Useful Post:
brynn (05-10-2015), freshstart57 (05-10-2015), MesaMan (05-10-2015), Mikie9 (07-23-2015), Nonsensical (05-12-2015), shortstop81 (12-05-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-10-2015, 09:24 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,828
2 points:

-A plan for me sometimes needs to be reinforced and tweaked, in isolation and at the hands of my addiction, that may not always be the sensible way forward, having an outside influence, a second opinion on things, ensuring decisions are made with the focus on the task at hand is important.

-Giving back to a community is something that I can do each day that actually makes me feel pretty good, just another thing that is included in my plan, helping others, but it also benefits me too!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to PurpleKnight For This Useful Post:
Carlotta (05-12-2015), Creekryder (05-12-2015), MesaMan (05-10-2015), Nonsensical (05-12-2015), Soberpotamus (05-10-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-12-2015, 01:42 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
CelticZebra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 495
Big plan or not what are we doing here? This is one of the great big unexplained mysteries of life really, when you get down to it, what are any of us doing here?
I think it's because of my addictive nature and my inherent curiosity for learning about people, certainly it's a better use of my time than sitting in a beer garden or buying cheap booze or watching others get hammered. Alcohol is never off the radar, how would that be possible? For me it's like that small sparkly thing at the edge of vision which is like a mirage of attractiveness in the form of the sparkling, otherworldly consciousness I long for at times. A mirage is true enough, not refreshing but dehydrating to the soul. Living in a western society means bombardment with alluring ideals and exotic dreams. exciting yet 'normal' in UK culture is the advertising attractiveness to the poison alcohol and how taboo being 'alcoholic' is.... If I lived on any other planet it may be off the radar but here on earth alcohol is almost impossible to eliminate from ones radar. Interesting topic/question/thought

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
CelticZebra is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to CelticZebra For This Useful Post:
ultradad (07-14-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-12-2015, 04:58 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Better when never is never
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by CelticZebra View Post
... If I lived on any other planet it may be off the radar but here on earth alcohol is almost impossible to eliminate from ones radar.
I like to think I am on the cutting edge of a new phase in human evolution.
jazzfish is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jazzfish For This Useful Post:
happybeingme (05-12-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)
Old 05-12-2015, 05:47 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
amandamarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 187
Blog Entries: 11
I am here, because alcohol still enters my mind, and when it does I like to have people who understand to talk to. It's not like just because I make a plan I never think about alcohol, or struggle with my sobriety. Also. seeing people on here who relapse makes me keep my guard up to anything alcohol related, and makes me remember what I am trying to keep from slipping back into. I am pretty fresh in my sobriety, and this forum helps me immensely.
amandamarie is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to amandamarie For This Useful Post:
Axiom (05-12-2015), Creekryder (05-12-2015), keeppushing (08-24-2015), Mikie9 (07-23-2015), WhatBeast (05-12-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:16 AM.