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Cart and white knuckles

Old 03-19-2015, 05:47 AM
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Cart and white knuckles

Hi all,

Sorry for the title it's AVRT and white knuckles
For all experienced in AVRT I have a question, did you ever felt the vertigo effect?
The state were you know that you already made the decision to act on addiction and you feel there is no turning back? This state seems to happen when you are in debate whether to do it or not aka white knuckling and the beast captures your thinking of the rational mind? What did you exactly to recognize the beast and av and how were you feeling?

In my case I felt:

1. Rapid heart beat
2. Warm feeling passing trough my face followed by aaaaaahhhhh!!!! Its good = about talk
3. Thinking everything, completely under control on what to think and do to get the stuff, except having second thoughts about giving up.
4. When almost consumating the act, very small thoughts like this is wrong, I'm doomed, here I go again, I can't believe this, like if we are trying to say excuses so we can do it without having guilt feelings after. Even if we know we will feel guilt anyway?

If you got all this feelings and reactions, what mind AVRT trick did you used to get out of it?
Did you try to ignore it? If so how? Did you recognize it has an illusion and the symptoms I enumerated vanished? Or did you felt control and the symptoms were still there?

The reason I am doing this questions is because I am almost certain that this symptoms are similar on all addictions and the AVRT approach can be applied in the same way. But I appreciate if everyone can share their own experiences, so we all can sharp the AVRT.

Thank you.
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Old 03-19-2015, 07:10 AM
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Hi eternalLiberty I've had exactly this the last few times I drank and it's kind of scary, it can feel a little bit like you've somehow lost control and there's a tiny voice inside screaming "NO! NOT AGAIN!" but really this is all just AV making the situation seem so much bigger than it actually is.

I think to avoid it you have to not get dragged into the 'white knuckling' in the first place.

I've read before a really eye opening analogy that if you imagine a game of chess, the AV makes the first move and waits for you to make yours. Instead of moving a piece, you pick the board up and throw it in the bin.

But I'm sure others will have more suggestions
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Old 03-19-2015, 07:16 AM
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Hi EL, whenever I got that feeling, I acted on it. Felt wretched the next day, but it was sort of inevitable

Once I finally clicked, I could easily resist. One strong motivation was saying I would abstain for 12 months, which was a solid target. At 12 months I just kept going because life was that much better.

How do you motivate yourself to that point? I saw my doctor, read a lot about the harm it was doing me, and wanted to give up something important to be to show my DIL she could stop smoking.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:36 AM
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Originally Posted by LonelyShadow View Post
Hi eternalLiberty I've had exactly this the last few times I drank and it's kind of scary, it can feel a little bit like you've somehow lost control and there's a tiny voice inside screaming "NO! NOT AGAIN!" but really this is all just AV making the situation seem so much bigger than it actually is.

I think to avoid it you have to not get dragged into the 'white knuckling' in the first place.

I've read before a really eye opening analogy that if you imagine a game of chess, the AV makes the first move and waits for you to make yours. Instead of moving a piece, you pick the board up and throw it in the bin.

But I'm sure others will have more suggestions
Very nice insights LonelyShadow.

The chess analogy is great because it gives us the idea that the beast is playing games with us, and his only purpose in all the moves IT makes is doing a killing checkmate. Hope this thread gives more insights to us all.
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by FeelingGreat View Post
Hi EL, whenever I got that feeling, I acted on it. Felt wretched the next day, but it was sort of inevitable

Once I finally clicked, I could easily resist. One strong motivation was saying I would abstain for 12 months, which was a solid target. At 12 months I just kept going because life was that much better.

How do you motivate yourself to that point? I saw my doctor, read a lot about the harm it was doing me, and wanted to give up something important to be to show my DIL she could stop smoking.
Thank you FellingGreat, but when you say "Once I finally clicked" Once I finally clicked, I could easily resist." Are you talking about "easily resisting" the white knuckling? or never have IT in the first place?
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Old 03-19-2015, 10:27 PM
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Originally Posted by eternalLiberty View Post
Thank you FellingGreat, but when you say "Once I finally clicked" Once I finally clicked, I could easily resist." Are you talking about "easily resisting" the white knuckling? or never have IT in the first place?
It's hard to describe, but I finally became motivated, and not just on the day after a hangover. You still have cravings, but you also have deep determination not to give in to them.
I'm going through the same thing now with losing weight. I know I have to, but I don't seem to find the motivation, and so when I feel like eating something I shouldn't, I give in.
My point with the alcohol, was I didn't have that strong motivation to start with, but I spent some time reading up on alcoholism, spoke to my doctor, thought about it, and it did motivate me in the end. Once I had that, I was strong enough to resist the cravings.

PS: that process you describe in point form sounds stress induced to me. Try stopping it in it's tracks by taking 5 deep breaths, concentrating only on your body.
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Old 03-20-2015, 01:41 AM
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Yes motivation is good, especially if you have it to recognize the beast, because apart of using AVRT we must have fun = motivation using it, has Trimpey states "if you not having fun doing it, you are not doing it right". The fun of it is that after the moment you realize that all the feelings, vertigo included, are only tries from the beast trough your av to make you think that the desire is YOURS not IT'S, and IT makes you feel good all over or bad if you want, only to have a fix. The ultimate goal is to steal your family and every most important things of your life, because it doesn't want YOU really, IT only wants a fix trough YOU, and your family.and other things are in IT'S way.
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Old 03-20-2015, 06:08 AM
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Originally Posted by eternalLiberty View Post
Yes motivation is good, especially if you have it to recognize the beast, because apart of using AVRT we must have fun = motivation using it, has Trimpey states if you not having fun doing it, you are not doing it right". The fun of it is that after the moment you realize that all the feelings, vertigo included, are only tries from the beast trough your av to make you think that the desire is YOURS not IT'S, and IT makes you feel good all over or bad if you want, only to have a fix. The ultimate goal is to steal your family and every most important things of your life, because it doesn't want YOU really, IT only wants a fix trough YOU, and your family.and other things are in IT'S way.
When you finally make your once in a lifetime Big Plan, to never have an orgasm outside of marriage, I suspect you will begin to get more interested in finding that right person for you as the Beast of sexual error fades and your normal drive to find a mate kicks in. Talk about having fun in life. Go for it!
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Old 03-20-2015, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by GerandTwine View Post
When you finally make your once in a lifetime Big Plan, to never have an orgasm outside of marriage, I suspect you will begin to get more interested in finding that right person for you as the Beast of sexual error fades and your normal drive to find a mate kicks in. Talk about having fun in life. Go for it!
Although I'm not looking for it, not out of question, you don't need to really find someone to be happy unless you believe you do. Because life it's not only about eating sleeping and mating, if it was I would be an animal or perhaps a beast trying to convince a human to get a fix
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