Wholesome

Yes, Tatsy I eventually saw that yesterday and also felt that ACE effect, great feeling! Freedom!

I'm starting to recognize just how entrenched IT has become in so many of my beliefs and I'm starting to question a lot of my thought processes. I've been addicted to one substance or another since I was a teenager so I'm still learning how to make the distinctions because I've thought this way for so long. I have all these ideas about what recovery should look like that I get confused. I want to get to the point where I don't think about it all the time, but how do you stop thinking? And it's not about whether or not I will drink, I don't drink, period, it's about everything to do with living without it. Which must be AV, except that some of it is really me too because I do need to address my part in relationships and I do need to move on and I do need to get some goals etc. Like I said I get a bit confused.

Thank you for your help. I'm glad that you come on here to help people like me!! It means a lot.

Algorithm

There is no separation here, zenchaser.

Your Beast was literally obsessed with consuming more alcohol, and with when IT was going to get ITs next fix. You were concerned with staying out of trouble as you fed your Beast ITs precious survival stuff, and were often shocked at some of the crazy things that you did in the course of service to your Beast.

Your Beast is still obsessed with alcohol, as usual, only now, IT focuses on the length of deprivation. Your Beast is a depressed, dying creature, quite literally in despair. ITs own death by deprivation is on ITs mind. Poor thing.

The birth of the Beast creates a new, organizing principle in one's consciousness, centered around the Beast's survival agenda, and IT gives rise to a new persona, which is founded upon the comprehensive style of thinking that we call the Addictive Voice.

Functions of the AV -

When the Beast's organizing principle, the addictive mandate, is replaced, via the Big Plan, with a new mandate centered around abstinence, one may undergo a significant, and possibly profound, personal reorganization. This reorganization will naturally be centered around the new organizing principle of the Big Plan -- the mandate to abstain.

The Beast has ripped off much of your life, and “sobriety” is not the goal of AVRT-based recovery, which would only give the Beast some more of your life. Instead, the goal is secure abstinence, upon which you may build a future of your own choosing, as a non-drinker, free from the jaws of the Beast.

Through the lens of AVRT, the "process of recovery" that you are concerned with is simply a stage of addiction, where the Beast desperately tries to keep the addiction alive, and tries to postpone the Big Plan. If you can't quite see this, you may want to take note of the fact that you joined this forum in August 2010, almost seven years ago.

AVRT is the addict's missing moral conscience as it pertains to the use of alcohol and other drugs, and the ACE is the reward for accepting responsibility for one's own conduct. The regeneration longed for by people struggling with addiction is not gained by waiting for a miracle, but by rising up against their Beast, and simply being miracles.

There is no process of recovery in AVRT, but only the aftermath of addiction. Trust yourself, and believe in your ability to abstain, which you have had all along. Allow yourself to simply enjoy the regeneration, and the return to your authentic self.

Wholesome

Oh Algorithm thank you! As usual, you are spot on! I have been dragging this around with me for my whole life, way more than 7 years, and my Beast is not giving up without a fight. You're right, this new obsession is just that, IT's death throes.

When the Beast's organizing principle, the addictive mandate, is replaced, via the Big Plan, with a new mandate centered around abstinence, one may undergo a significant, and possibly profound, personal reorganization. This reorganization will naturally be centered around the new organizing principle of the Big Plan -- the mandate to abstain.

This has to happen for me, IT is all mixed into my beliefs and self image/ identity in really insidious ways. I got indoctrinated into drugs and alcohol by my parents as a teen, some really whacky family values that set me up. From the beginning, this was my life. AVRT has to be the way to end it once and for all. It's the way to get into my brain and identify/ replace all that faulty thinking. I don't even know who my authentic self is? I've never met her. That just made me tear up.

I'm trying to chill out and not be so neurotic.

Algorithm

Your Beast is telling you that you are your Addictive Voice. The Beast will try to convince you that IT is you, and that ITs deprivation is your deprivation. IT will even try to have you take on ITs self-identity (ie., "I'm an alcoholic"), so that there is no separation whatsoever. The Beast is the alcoholic.

The strength of AVRT lies in the removal of the Option to drink some more, so that one is forced to adapt to life, one way or another. Remember that AVRT is not about 'choosing not to drink today', it is about deciding once to remove the Option of ever choosing to drink or not drink ever again. We remove the choice from the table. No more choosing not to drink.

With the inner debate finally ended, and a new mandate in place, the stage is set for real personal development, previously hindered by the Beast's agenda. Remember, though, that personal development is not a contingency for abstinence, but rather, a probable consequence. If you believe that if development does not happen, you may explode into drunkenness, you are failing to recognize your Addictive Voice.

The Beast will try to convert whatever fears or misfortunes you may have into concrete plans to drink or use, by twisting reason in its favor, and arguing both sides of all arguments. IT would argue for more drinking regardless of your particular childhood.

Either way, a rotten childhood can still make for a very good life in adulthood, zenchaser. You may even be wiser than others for your experience, and be able to teach your own children better.

This is your Addictive Voice. Notice the verb tense used, and the implied doubt about whether it is really over yet. When you doubt AVRT, you are only doubting yourself. AVRT is something that you do, by looking at your hands, and recognizing that you are always in control.

The split in AVRT is very simple. Don't fall for the fatal trap of including everything but the kitchen sink in the definition of the Addictive Voice, as with the "underlying issues" idea promoted by psychologists. The Beast will have a field day if you do this, because it will then have ton of additional justifications for more drinking.

If "faulty thinking" is directing you to consume alcohol and other drugs, you may recognize that interpretation as your Addictive Voice, but not the issue itself. The Beast is a revisionist, and will try to change the motivation for drinking, from getting a really good high, to some other reason. Never allow the Beast to change the motivation for ITs personal parties.

Any thinking or feeling that supports, or even suggests, your possible future use of alcohol and other drugs is AV -- the Beast (IT) talking in your head.

Any thinking or feeling that contradicts your Big Plan in any way is AV -- the Beast (IT) talking in your head.

Any self-doubt about remaining perfectly abstinent suggests the opposite, and is AV -- the Beast (IT) talking in your head.

Everything else is you.

Wholesome

Writing out the other day that I've never met my authentic self filled me with the most profound sadness, it made me cry. But it was a pivotal moment for me and afterward, I decided to turn that upside down and let myself get excited because now I get to find out. What happened within my family was wrong, they should not have been encouraging me to use drugs/ alcohol and they certainly should not have been providing them for me, but it's not a life sentence and I can stop living down to that the moment I decide to. Which happened when I made my BP to quit drinking. Forever. It will be a cold day in hell before I let my AV talk me into that again. The doubt and worrying are AV and just a bad habit of being too hard on myself. I've been making a conscious effort to monitor my thoughts about more than spotting AV over the use of alcohol, also to spot negative self talk. I've also decided to shift my focus onto where I want to go from here? What do I want for myself now? What do I value? What do I believe? If this is meeting my authentic self for the first time since I was 14 then who do I want her to be?

MesaMan

.
A bit of sage Advice read here long ago was that - once you get Sober and Recover - you return to being the Person you were before Drinking. In my own 'Sample Of One' experience, that was true.

Nonsensical

Indeed.

You may have been handed a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

You got this ZC!

spryte

I have been struggling with drinking for years now and have tried everything, AA, Smart Recovery. I want to try Rational Recovery. I have made my Big Plan and am feeling optimistic that I can do this. I really want to be free from drinking. It is just ruining my life. I'm glad this forum exists so I can discuss my adventures in AVRT.

Fusion

Hi Spryte, welcome to this corner of the Internet, populated by securely abstinent people, like you! I too struggled and tried other recovery methods, to no avail. When I discovered AVRT and made my Big Plan, the rest as they say, is history. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.

Spryte, if you have any questions, whatsoever, to assist you in fine-tuning your AV antenna/laser-beam in the first few weeks, we'd welcome any questions, so that we may provide guidance - and if not, you're doing fantastically well.

Congratulations on making your Big Plan. I'm so glad you're here.

Algorithm

This will become more clear to you as you learn more about AVRT, but the parts that I underlined in your post, above, are your Addictive Voice, which is simply any thinking or feeling that supports or suggests your possible future use of alcohol and other drugs.

Alternatively, your AV is simply any thinking or feeling that contradicts your Big Plan in any way, which includes all self-doubt about being able to remain perfectly abstinent forever. Such self-doubt obviously contradicts your Big Plan, and suggests the possibility of drinking some more alcohol.

Take note of the verb tenses used in your post, which suggest that drinking is still a problem, that it is not really over yet, and that you only 'want to try' RR, as if AVRT were yet another experiment to 'see how it goes', but which may not 'work' for you. Since all of this points to the possibility of drinking some more alcohol, it is AV.

In order to lay a broad foundation for AVRT, and to tighten up the screws on your Beast, I recommend taking the free crash course on AVRT, getting yourself a copy of the book Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey, and reading through this discussion thread from the very beginning.

Your Beast has thrived on passivity and procrastination — on 'trying everything' except for actually cutting off ITs precious supply of drinks once and for all. There is a little bit of a learning curve at first, but if you spend some time to learn it, AVRT can quickly end your addiction, and also your recovery from addiction.

dwtbd

Welcome aboard Spryte, and congratulations on your BP!

spryte

I've been doing some reading here! Lots of great resources. I'm feeling optimistic today. Getting ready to recognize that AV. Feeling strong.

Algorithm

This is very likely your Addictive Voice, spryte, peddling your Beast's second favorite fuel after alcohol — the uncertainty principle.

What if you didn't feel optimistic and strong today, or on some other day, perhaps? Would that somehow change things as they pertain to never swallowing any more alcohol?

Remember, any idea of possibly, maybe violating your Big Plan under certain special conditions, is simply AV — the Beast barking.

The following post about the Static Time concept in AVRT may help you with recognizing any lingering uncertainty about the future.

Static Time |

spryte

Thanks for the clarification! I read that about static time and it makes sense. If I can abstain in the present moment, which I am doing, I can abstain anytime.

dwtbd

Now say " I can abstain forever", guessing you will get a little 'feedback'.
Recognize it, separate from it and dismiss it. It is entirely possible any doubt that it is actually possible for You , is AV.

spryte

Saying 'I can abstain forever', I get a LOT of feedback. I'm filled with all my failures to date and I doubt that I can do it forever. Just being honest. I guess all that doubt is the AV.

dwtbd

All the doubt is by definition AV.
"Having" AV isn't a problem, the BP is the answer to IT, the problem is listening to it. Doubt by itself isn't what 'makes' one drink, opening and pouring and putting into your mouth does.
"never" and "forever" are Beast 'triggers' those terms will always cause a stir, but with a BP they are not 'triggers' for You , they are the Beast's reaction to hearing ITs supply has been shut off, forever( just reading that will cause a stir).
But no worries, ITs pain and deprivation are ITs alone, YOU get to live free of the consequences of indulging ITs desire.
IT is too dumb to realize that 'forever' doesn't happen all at once. IT doesn't get that the present, this second right Now is the only time we have the ability to act 'in'. Right Now this second , it is possible to not put a drink in your mouth , yeah ? How about this Now? All those Nows will add up

spryte

Old habits die hard! I find myself counting days. Is this contrary to AVRT? I find myself looking forward to milestones.

The Beast has been pretty quiet lately. I've been busy with school. I expect some activity over the weekend when I have time on my hands and some boredom. Boredom is a big trigger for me.

Do you think about triggers and plan for those times with AVRT? Like, I am going to be planning for the weekend, making plans to stay busy.

dwtbd

'Old habits die hard' while perhaps true in some ways , doesn't mean they don't die, focusing on the seemingly hard part is great AV ammo.
New habits are born by the choice to start them, so pretty easy , yeah ?

Boredom is a trigger for the AV to announce an opportunity to indulge the Beast. But You don't drink, so more than just a missed opportunity for the poor dumb Beast, not an opportunity at all, because You don't drink.

Doesn't mean the AV won't try to use Its triggers against You , but the BP means the triggers don't mean anything to You , just IT.

I hope you come up with plans for an enjoyable and productive weekend, but if you find Yourself with some down, regardless of ITs triggers, You don't drink, yeah ?

Fusion

Yes, triggers are irrelevant to me too, using AVRT. When I was 'in recovery' instead of recovered (pre Big Plan) I was terrified of so-called triggers and tried to plan ahead, pre-emptively, or ran scared when they arose (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired Bored Stressed). I tried to live my life in order to stop those feelings occurring, to stop the 'HALT-BS' from occurring (eat, phone someone, go to bed etc.).

But the Big Plan ended the triggers (I called it Halt-the Bull Sh*t) because there are no triggers, only the Beast barking through ITs AV - AV that uses triggers as an excuse, reason, enticement, to get ITs fix: a drink. I do not drink, so why should I worry about the AV using triggers as an excuse to drink - it's just pure AV.

Day counting. I don't count days, why would I? Prisoners count days towards their freedom. But I was released and freed from addiction when I made my BP. Count days for what, to measure the distance between my last drink and the next relapse? I will never relapse, so counting days is nonsensical. I was a drinker, that was my old life; now I'm not and I'm living my new life.

My Beast counts days though. Counts the days since I made the BP and rendered him powerless. He counts days towards his wish that I relapse, which would equate towards his release. Sad thing, he doesn't realise that his desire for a drink will never be met - because I'll never drink again, and I will never change my mind.