Back from a relapse
 

Here I am again after 2 months of off and on drinking. I almost didn't bother coming here but I decided that I need to read about the struggle of other people to help me along.

I was doing so well before the holiday season got to me. I really need to get my head on straight and do this. It would have been so much nicer if I stayed sober because now the Christmas season is a blur and I don't like that.

So here I go again, last Friday on January 16, 2015 was the last drink I had and I want to stay stronger this time.

Welcome back. It's not easy, all you can do is keep moving forward :)

Welcome back. Are you using any specific program(s) or technique(s)? Lots of great information about them on SR.

Welcome back!! :)

Thanks for the support guys and @Nonsensical, no , no programs of any kind. Mostly this website and re-starting my exercise routines.

Welcome back, Bookerman.

I can relate
 

Welcome back and thank you for posting this. I am also coming off a terrible relapse....in fact I am telling my AA sponsor this afternoon that I have more than just slipped but have gone right back to where I left off. I'm feeling crappy mentally and physically, however I know that when I can string a few sober days together that things will slowly improve....again!! :gaah

good to see you again Bookerman :)

D

Very happy to see you Bookerman. Sometimes we need further proof that we can't touch it.

Welcome back, Bookerman. I like your name.

Glad you're here!
:)

I know it's been mentioned elsewhere here, but for those that have just had a temporary stumble, I would love to recommend an excellent book - Jason Vale's KICK THE DRINK ...EASILY ! It'll definitely help anyone that reads it and make the journey a way easler !

hi happycampers
Can I get you to describe how Mr Vales book helped you, what was it about his writings /ideas that gave you the help to recommend it with such confidence?

have you read it ? Just curious

No I have not read it.

no I have not read it. Perhaps you could relay some of the major ideas and how they helped you eith sobriety

Welcome back

Relapse hurts I know

Had a few

Keep on keeping on

Jason Vale's book is very similar to Alan Carr's book in that they are both a form of self-hypnosis. But it isn't trickery. The book confronts every supposed benefit of drinking and carefully dissects it to show the reader that there actually isn't any benefit. Not only is there no benefit, but it is actually harmful for you. By hammering this message home again and again, the reader eventually comes to understand that a person is really not giving up anything and only reaping good things if they quit. It can remove a huge hurdle many people face when considering whether to quit.

thanks, jazzfish - you were right on the money. ( sorry, I fall asleep). Yes, for me , it turned quitting into something celebrate and be happy about each day vs. being in mental deprivation all the time while quitting because you still "want it". The book took that away from me and has made quitting easier and more enjoyable. And I'm excited to see what happens now that I'm 100% clean of drink and drugs. Well worth the $15 to buy !!!!!!!

excellent!

Glad to hear those who have relapsed are excited to get sober, and stay sober... Welcome back. :)

I read Jason Vales' book last weekend and would highly recommend it.

It's like a logical sense that you can't really avoid once you've read it, written in a very easy to read way that should appeal to to those who are not 'big readers'

I've been finding the AVRT stuff really useful in keeping my promise to myself to never drink alcohol again.

There was an article I read about Lizard Brain by A. Orange which helped me to explain the idea easier to others, think it was a link from another thread on this forum
http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-addmonst.html

Really interesting stuff.

Keep on keeping on .

I am 6 days clean since my MASSIVE relapse. I finished Jason Vale's book last night....well worth the read! Something that really smacked me in the head was the fact that Alcohol is the only drug in our society where you are ostracized from many social situations and groups if you abstain and if you stop drinking you must be one of those "sad" alcoholics. No one questioned or felt bad for me when I quit smoking years ago or grilled me at social events why I wasn't smoking anymore!

I too find that I am almost excited for what may come my way to challenge my decision to be done with this addiction.

I have told the truth to my sponsor and let all in my AA group know what has gone on. It is a real sense of freedom to have no dirty little secrets lurking.

Thanks everyone, it was coming back to this site that I was able to talk about my relapse and susequenly find this book. I highly recommend!

Congrats on day 6 Choxo, I read your other post about the fabulous year of sobriety and the successful silent auction ball gown you had recently.

Maybe if you look at the differences a year of sobriety made to you, this time around you can make it further...

I spent years having relapses and always blamed it on my addiction, my inability to control my body enough to not have the 1st drink lead to anymore than 2 ( I kept that one up for a few months) I could always find an excuse to 'need' a drink, to keep excusing my relapses, to say I'm an alcoholic, I can't help it, it's a disease.
I even had a conversation with a policeman while very intoxicated about how I didn't believe it was a disease when he tried to make excuses for the state I was in!

I finally turned my power over to me and made a choice.

I chose to NEVER drink alcohol again, it was a scary choice but once I said it, I wrote it down, I kept saying it and writing it down and I got so excited about making myself believe it that I relaxed at the thought of never having to decide again.
The hard part was done, the DTs receded after a few weeks and the more I told people my choice, my descision, the more I believed it, especially those closest to me, so disbelieving, but something is different this time, this time it's forever, and ever and the firmer I am every time I say, or write, or think

'I will never drink alcohol again'

I find it liberating, exhilarating and those words contain my freedom from alcohol addiction.

Next plan: quit nicotine 2nd Feb 2015

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself

Choxco, I too found Vale's book compelling. Maybe a bit redundant at times but I believe that was to drive the point home. Cutting to the chase that alcohol is an addiction, not a disease (although it certainly can induce several), how big alcohol business continues to keep the poison in our society, and our perceptions of alcohol use are among many concepts the book brings front and center. IMHO, all alcoholics should read this book. I don't imply that everyone should embrace every idea presented, but read it, reflect, and I'll bet you find gems that help beat the addiction.

A puzzle has many pieces to find and put in place before solving.

What a difference a week makes! Last Sunday I woke up with a pounding head, shaky, sick, full of self loathing....I really did a number on myself and perhaps there was some purpose in that. Today I wake up full of energy and hope. I will not stand on a soap box and promise the world that "I've got it this time FOR SURE", but there has been a shift. My greatest take away from Jason Vale's book is....."I am not missing anything when I don't drink and all that I thought it was doing for me was in fact all an illusion!" I had a great weekend and there was alcohol around me at all times. I did not try replace it or romanticize it. I simply get it in my head that there was nothing to miss! As a result, no cravings, no "bitchiness" around those who were drinking and no self pity. I felt in control and content.....even in my long stretch of sobriety I never really felt content so this is new.

For anyone who is a chronic relapser like I have been....KEEP TRYING!!! You never know what will finally bring about the shift.

Thanks again SR for being here!

Why not get a soapbox?

Perhaps I'll check Amazon for one!:soapbox: