Question
 

I have recently stopped drinking (2 uncomfortable weeks), and would like to source some support, but nearly everything seems based around aa/12 steps, which tbh really isn't my bag, I'm a devout atheist, and it may be my limited knowledge on the subject, but I don't think I can relax with the whole religious tone...I'm aware that my problems are mine and I need to take ownership, so really wanted to know what others had done outside of the usual aa/12 steps route.

Thanks

Welcome- you certainly came to the right place! Lots of support and knowledge here.
I urge you to read the sticky "AVRT Explained" at the top of the page- it should tell you lots of interesting, thoughtful things that guide you along your path.
Good luck!

Welcome Cokie. I suggest trying the AVRT technique. Google Rational Recovery. On the RR page, you will see a link for the AVRT crash course. It only takes 15 minutes or so to read through the crash course. And as Donnie already suggested, you can do more reading on the AVRT technique in the "AVRT Explained" thread at the top of this page. I suggest doing the crash course first.

hi Cokietheclown,

for my first couple of years, i participated in Lifering exclusively, and that served me well.

secular peer-support sobriety.

you can check it out here:

LifeRing - LifeRing

Welcome to the forum :)

At different times I've used SMART Recovery and AVRT. They're both secular. These days, I'm working through the 12 Steps from a secular angle, and beginning my meditation practice, and studying Buddhism as a philosophy and way of living.

Welcome, Cokietheclown! I'm another atheist that's used AVRT to stay sober for almost two years (actually it will be two years next week!).

Thanks for all the replies, I'll take the time to read up on your comments this evening once the mini's are in bed.

welcome cokietheclown

I came to SR and saw mention of AVRT and RR , took the free crash course on the RR site and then ordered the material and all of it resonated.
Prior to that material I knew I had to quit , but I also thought the only path was through 'recovery-ism' . I had always disliked the idea of programs and the idea of a disease model of addiction, but I lacked the vocabulary to describe it. But I then realised that I had adopted that slant in my thinking , even if just implicitly.
It was like I didn't 'believe' in the cure of groups/programs, but I also thought that since that 'cure' wasn't for me, then perhaps there was no cure. Until the day I came to SR and was pointed in the right direction.

I'm now a free thinking nondrinker! Glad you found us, cmon in the waters fine :)

Welcome, CokieTheClown, you have definitely come to the right place. You will find lots of support for you here from folks who have found their own way to a permanent and unconditional sobriety.

I feel that the first thing is to believe in yourself. Believe that you can do this thing, and that you deserve to have it. If you can come to that position, then you can add some defiance to your position, and declare that nothing will ever take from you that life of peace, beauty, and a little happiness you so rightly deserve. After all, it's you who is in charge, and you make all the rules.

I hope you keep posting, Cokie, and wish you the best success. Onward!

I believe there is not one road to sobriety, and not one destination. For some people, AA helps repair more than just alcoholism. For others, therapy, SR, AVRT, etc. work.

Find your own path through exploration. Take what works.

I found out about Rational Recovery/AVRT the night I joined here and put the bottle down right then and there. Done.

My decision to use Rational Recovery/AVRT was not based on my spirituality. What I disliked about the 12 step approach (for me) was the "one day at a time" "powerless" mentality.

Glad you found us.

As a freethinker I've attended AA meetings and used AA Agnostica as my guide. that worked for a wile. Now a home practice of CBT and DBT helps me maintain my sobriety along with what sanity I have left ;). Also AVRT is a great secular option for an effective plan/practice way to arrest alcoholism...for good!

Be well in all your choices.

Hey.

Well, I've read through the avrt (love the auto correct to avert:)) stuff...seems to fit on a number of levels for me, especially my stubbornness.

Like some one said above, it's about not having the vocabulary to describe effectively thoughts and feelings, and the avrt stuff seems to have allowed me to define a few things.

Anyway, thanks for the signposting.

Question 2: are the books worth buying? Looks to be about $40 for 2 with shipping to the uk.

Is $40 worth a potential lifetime free of booze? Think about that question again. If you are like most of us, you have probably carelessly spent $40 on numerous occasions buying shots for people you did not even know. Now, you can spend that amount to find a lifetime of happiness. You already know the answer. The books are a very good resource worth investing in... knowledge is power when it comes to addiction. I've read about 6 different books on addiction myself and always consider new literature. It's still far less money combined than I used to spend on an average weekend of binging.

Cokie, I found a cheap copy of Rational Recovery: the New Cure for Substance Addiction on half.com. I believe this particular book is worth the price. I'm not sure what other book you're referring to, but if you're choosing just one book, I suggest the book above.

Welcome CC! I use all of the above. I also go to AA once in awhile. The AVRT Explained thread on this site helped me lay down the booze 3+ months ago but muddling through the religiosity and recovery-speak has been a challenge for 30 yrs. One thing that helped me at meetings was to insert "common sense" when I heard "god". The Fix, HAMS, AA Agnostica, Orange Papers and many others helped me also when I was first sober and less tolerant of....everything. Best wishes on your journey. Yes, Secular resources for recovery are more available now than ever and that trend WILL continue with folks like you posting of your experience.

Thanks, I decided to get the books, figured I may as well...my question was more aimed at do the books add additional value to the concept, or like a lot of things, just comprised of fluff and filler...I'll see in a week or so.

When I have given up stuff in the past (smoking / drugs) and dropped them, I have never felt it was too difficult as it was just a decision - alcohol is different, it has been the underlying constant since my teens, but I'm not sure why now, I feel I can do this, and already feel positive about the change - I'm even booked out to go climbing for the first time in ages on Saturday.

Anyway, bed...thanks for all the replies.

Probably worth it if you need them. I've never read any of the books. Just the free crash course/bullets for my beast was all I have needed. I will be two years sober in two days.

Personally, I felt the RR book added additional information that helped me to understand and grasp AVRT much better. However, the book does contain some content that I consider to be superfluous.

To expand on this I think it depends on your personality. Take a car as an example. You could get in your car and just start it up and drive without having any idea of how it works. Some car owners never pop the hood and look in there, just letting a mechanic take care of it. AVRT is the same way; you can use it and drive to sobriety without really understanding the science of behavior. If it works it works, no need to pop the hood and tear into the engine. I'm in that camp. It works for me, I might be idly curious why but not enough to dig into it. It's enough for me that it does work.

I found that after I made my Big Plan the cravings vanished. Can't say as I've really had many cravings over the last 2 years. Once I told my AV that there was no chance of getting a drink it quieted down. That was the key for me- permanence. No one day at a time, just a total commitment to never drinking again.

I can't say every day of my life since has been easy, but I haven't had a lot of trouble staying sober. I drank 3 bottles of wine a day 7 days a week for years so it took some time for my body and brain to recalibrate to sobriety. But I haven't had much for urges to drink.