pointless conversation
That bell or bike person
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
pointless conversation
yeh yeh ,
well your auntie is sick she got rectal cancer and cancer in her "privates" with the Dr's not being able to fully clear tha bladder and stomach cancer 5 years ago it's all on borrowed time .
Yer yer ,
the job offer disappeared earlier in the week once you told the company you work for you needed to quit , someone been telephoning behind my back to make sure i can't leave easy . no proof obviously , 1 month notice period blimey it's long … am sure will find temp job ..
Boyfriend going on about houses , think with me going self employed he can forget that idea .. i got a house already it's 1000 miles away and i don't use it the rats and mice live there .. i aint a walking wallet or a house on legs … nor a cheap place to stay , so i guess it aint my problem …. But y'know it'd be nice to settle sometime ….
Oh hi AV ghost , haven't heard from you in a bit , floated round my head selling ideas of hedonism and escape … ha ha ha rattle you chains like old marleys' ghost .. it shut up and went away when it saw i couldn't believe the delusion …
So right back to basics , tidy room , clean self , pay bills , do washing ,
day 1063 is gonna finnish a sober one
M out .
well your auntie is sick she got rectal cancer and cancer in her "privates" with the Dr's not being able to fully clear tha bladder and stomach cancer 5 years ago it's all on borrowed time .
Yer yer ,
the job offer disappeared earlier in the week once you told the company you work for you needed to quit , someone been telephoning behind my back to make sure i can't leave easy . no proof obviously , 1 month notice period blimey it's long … am sure will find temp job ..
Boyfriend going on about houses , think with me going self employed he can forget that idea .. i got a house already it's 1000 miles away and i don't use it the rats and mice live there .. i aint a walking wallet or a house on legs … nor a cheap place to stay , so i guess it aint my problem …. But y'know it'd be nice to settle sometime ….
Oh hi AV ghost , haven't heard from you in a bit , floated round my head selling ideas of hedonism and escape … ha ha ha rattle you chains like old marleys' ghost .. it shut up and went away when it saw i couldn't believe the delusion …
So right back to basics , tidy room , clean self , pay bills , do washing ,
day 1063 is gonna finnish a sober one
M out .
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
63 year old man runs away from home ????
Originally Posted by mecanix 
floated round my head selling ideas of hedonism and escape
day 1063 is gonna finnish a sober one
seems insane now that I give it some thought
63 year old man runs away from home again
but
I didn't act out on it (as you also have not)
and congratulations with your 1063 days sober
that is a nice amount of sober time
let me take a look -- I have 2,475 days sober today
our time sober is well worth the fight today
wishing not to deceive ourselves yet again
MM
That bell or bike person
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Cancer is back and she is going under the knife to have even more chopped away soon 
It's not about me and it's not my illness, i am mostly selfishly worried about her not surviving the surgery and missing / mourning the person and relationship we then can't have .
I wish i could have got sober sooner, i wish there were more time ..
the glory and the wonder of my sober life is so beautiful and sometimes so painful .
onwards is the only way .. a new day tomorrow to enjoy and make the best of whatever it holds .
jobs , boyfs , houses LoL yer whatever... it's not like that stuff bothers or upsets me much now , i have hope that things will work out and i'll be able to deal with it .
I just hope for another day , week , month and that the pain for her isn't too unbearable .
m
It's not about me and it's not my illness, i am mostly selfishly worried about her not surviving the surgery and missing / mourning the person and relationship we then can't have .
I wish i could have got sober sooner, i wish there were more time ..
the glory and the wonder of my sober life is so beautiful and sometimes so painful .
onwards is the only way .. a new day tomorrow to enjoy and make the best of whatever it holds .
jobs , boyfs , houses LoL yer whatever... it's not like that stuff bothers or upsets me much now , i have hope that things will work out and i'll be able to deal with it .
I just hope for another day , week , month and that the pain for her isn't too unbearable .
m
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Sending positive thoughts to you and your aunt, mecanix.
I wish for all my wasted 'drunk' years back, too.....but we have today and we can make it count. And you're right....onwards is the only way.
I wish for all my wasted 'drunk' years back, too.....but we have today and we can make it count. And you're right....onwards is the only way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 508
Nasty curveballs, urges to escape from this life to that wild hedonism of freedom from emotional pain.
That beast really IS a beast but even when the worst of things happens and the cage is rattled the power of NEVER, no matter what, has great solace for me.
I hope for your continued success in not drinking & for your Aunt to be free from pain
Big hugs for you all x
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
That beast really IS a beast but even when the worst of things happens and the cage is rattled the power of NEVER, no matter what, has great solace for me.
I hope for your continued success in not drinking & for your Aunt to be free from pain
Big hugs for you all x
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
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