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Old 06-21-2014, 03:03 PM
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Hi everyone,

I'm a new member on SR and wanted to introduce myself. I am a longtime drinker and been sober 20 days. This forum has been incredibly helpful during this time.

As I am not spiritual in any way, I have really responded to the Rational Recovery AVRT technique and believe I would not have gotten sober without reading about it. It seems to make something I thought incredibly complicated, extremely simple. It is my opinion, however, that I need peer support.

I look forward to getting to know everyone and I would like to make a contribution. Thanks.
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Old 06-21-2014, 03:43 PM
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Welcome to SR and the Secular Connections section!

Congrats on 20 days, that's fantastic!
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Old 06-21-2014, 03:50 PM
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Thanks so much. Actually I will be tested this evening. Going to dinner with friends I've not seen since executing my BP. They never knew I had a problem with alcohol, actually very few outside my family do.
I don't feel tempted at all, I know I won't drink......just feel as though it will be "weird." My AV is saying things to me like "maybe you could just let them pour you one glass of wine and pretend to drink it," or "it would be rude not to have just one." It's BS of course, but it is extremely angry that I've made this decision.
I think it is going to punish me all night and ruin what would otherwise be a lovely occasion with people I adore.
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Old 06-21-2014, 04:13 PM
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It's great to meet you Boudicca - you found a great place to share what you're going through.

I hope tonight goes well - you sound determined to ignore that nasty AV. You will make it.
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Old 06-21-2014, 04:36 PM
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Hey Boudicca,

No reason that your AV should have the power to punish you in any way at all!

Your AV will always be around to try to convince you that you made the wrong decision. But you know that you didn't, and you know that any and all such "punishing" remarks will just roll right over you and dissipate into nothingness.

We're SO glad you are here. AVRT and the Secular Connections part of SR feel most like home to me, as well.
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Old 06-21-2014, 04:54 PM
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Thank you Hevyn and FT, for the kind words. I am still getting used to recognizing that the AV isn't really me, it's the basest part of me. It felt like me for so long that the separation still feels abnormal. I know I shouldn't even acknowledge it, but it gets in there just the same. We are at war right now, and tonight the battle is RAGING.

I just keep going back to 1. "I do not drink and I will not change my mind." I am repeating it like a mantra every time these stupid thoughts appear.
It is really angry that I don't believe it's lies anymore.
Thanks for listening.
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Old 06-21-2014, 05:00 PM
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Thanks for posting! My story is similar in that once I read the material something clicked and I laid it down (I was 2 weeks into a taper but felt myself getting pulled back in). It's still clickin' 9 days later. Bravo!
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Old 06-21-2014, 05:03 PM
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Welcome Boudicca, and congrats on your Big Plan!!!!

It would be rude to order a wine(stop listening to AV) and not drink it, so just order a nice non-alcoholic drink, no explanations needed. I know my daughter stopped drinking while she was weight training, and people questioned her. She never gave any explanation other than, "No thank you."
Best of luck and enjoy your evening out!

Last edited by milesfromhome; 06-21-2014 at 05:04 PM. Reason: changed my mind
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Old 06-21-2014, 05:09 PM
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Well, sometimes the Universes intervene! My friends called to cancel and I am greatly relieved.
I keep saying to myself, "maybe I'm not ready." But isn't that just the AV worming its way back in?
I really need to think about this and analyze why I felt such panic.
Thank you for the responses, all. I appreciate it.
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Old 06-21-2014, 06:43 PM
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hello Boudicca, and welcome.
yes, peer support has served me well, and of course it's a mutual thing, as you point out.
congrats on your 20 days and realizing what nonsense that voice can utter and that you don't need to act on what it throws your way.

no-one knew about my drinking, so when i quit and then refused the weird social one or two drinks i occasionally had with others, it wasn't exactly questioned, but there were raised eyebrows sometimes.
all doable, regardless.

good to see you here.
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Old 06-22-2014, 12:28 AM
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Welcome Boudicca. I'm glad to see another person using AVRT, and congrats on 20 days. Have you purchased the RR book yet? The online course is sufficient to stop drinking/using, but IMO recognizing the Beast in all its subtler forms can sometimes be a little tricky at first, and the book contains additional information in that regard that I've found helpful.
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Old 06-22-2014, 05:27 AM
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I have a copy on the way!
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Old 06-22-2014, 05:47 AM
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welcome Boudicca and congrats on your decision, thats awesome!

I was a longtime drinker too, found the RR site through SR and made my BP the first time I was on the site. I was lucky enough to have found the book at a local brick and mortar retailer, last copy! That was just a few days before a week long vacation , so I brought an until then , unknown companion the f-ing AV! What an a-hole that guy can be, not the most comfortable week spent , by a long shot. That mf-er is loudest in the early goings, with time it will learn its place( has to right? BP sees to that)
You got this
You found a real great thing here at SR , keep coming 'in', the waters fine
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Old 06-22-2014, 06:00 AM
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
welcome Boudicca and congrats on your decision, thats awesome!

I was a longtime drinker too, found the RR site through SR and made my BP the first time I was on the site. I was lucky enough to have found the book at a local brick and mortar retailer, last copy! That was just a few days before a week long vacation , so I brought an until then , unknown companion the f-ing AV! What an a-hole that guy can be, not the most comfortable week spent , by a long shot. That mf-er is loudest in the early goings, with time it will learn its place( has to right? BP sees to that)
You got this
You found a real great thing here at SR , keep coming 'in', the waters fine
Thanks for the welcome, DW! I'm not sure why but RR just made something click for me. After all my torment and internal machinations to justify continuing with my addiction, I read that site and just thought...."YES! That's exactly it!" No steps, no meetings, no torment, no debasement of self....I'm just done!
That said, I'm finding the struggle with AV to be a bit more than I anticipated. It is stronger than I give it credit for and we are waging war right now. It is extremely pissed off that I stopped drinking. I hope the book will assist me in exploring further.
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