Something that's been on my mind lately
 

From the Lifering Canada meeting closing statement:

"You don't have to change everything in your life... just almost everything.
Old habits, behaviors and associations will continue to bring trouble unless you
let them go. The more you try to hold onto the “old way,” the harder your
recovery will be...."

Ain't that the truth. A few months ago I first heard that at one of my groups (they like reading the Canadian closing statement, even though were Californian), and I sort of half-dismissed it, saying to myself, "yeah, well, I didn't really have to change lots of stuff, I just had to stop drinking and using - sounds like an overstatement, one of those things they say at recovery groups."

Well I'll be damned if I'm finding out for real that it's absolutely true. My relationship is in a make-or-break phase, and I think it's because I'm forcing it to change, because *I'm* changing. I can't go back. This is good, but it's painful.

So those of you still in your first few days / weeks of recovery - sit tight - the real hard work is likely yet to come.

-DrS

Thanks for sharing the link to LifeRing. I read on their site for a while and then decided to see if they offered anything for family members, and they do. Interesting discovery. What you wrote about the need for change, yeah I see my husband working on this in many areas of his life.
I wanted to comment sometimes family has a lot to change too depending on how chaotic things were, how far they drifted from who they were, or want to be. And your right its the balance between the two in a relationship, like the little child's mobile hanging over the crib, one object gets bumped and its sets off all the others swirling and twisting about. Takes work to get the harmony back.

Lifering says it talks about these topics in family sessions:

Accepting Our Limits
Addiction
Anger
Buried Dreams
Changes
Control & Detachment
Courage
Crisis
Denial, Ours & Theirs
Drama Seeking
Enabling
Expectations
Emptiness
Family Disease
Fear
Focusing on Ourselves
Forgiveness
Good Choices
Gratitude
Infidelity
Lifelong Growth
Leaving
Reasoning Things Out
Rejection
Saying No
Self-Esteem
Survivor's Guilt
Trusting People
Verbal Abuse

I'd like to comment on that.....the best is yet to come ! It may not have a silver lining,,,,,
but it's true and good, honest and proud. Relationships, small and large, important and not.
The one true one relationship......lies within.

Miso and I

Living in
NOW>>>YESTERDAY IS GONE>>>TODAY IS NOW !