Blogs


Notices

Long Term Recovery

Old 03-22-2014, 02:18 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ToddE1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: MI
Posts: 50
Long Term Recovery

Hello everyone,

I don't post here often. Even though I'm secular friendly, I never bought into RR much and that seems to be the dominate secular discussion here. For those folks that have made a big plan and it's been a life saver for you great. More power to you. I'm not against it, it's just not right for me. Kinda the same reason I don't go to too many step meetings. Most people I meet in recovery are usually very good folks though, regardless of what cup of tea they prefer.

An analogy I found useful came from my kids homework. I have to go on the internet to look up the methods for helping them with their math homework. They don't teach math anything at all like when I was a kid. They do this “everyday” math and they teach them how to solve equations three or four different ways. Three or four different methods, to teach them to do the same thing. Why? The idea behind it is that everyone's brain processes things differently. If they teach just one way it will still work for the majority. Some it will match ideally the way they think, others not so much but they'll adapt. Some will come up with their own way of processing it regardless of what the formal instructions are. Some just won't get it at all. If they teach multiple ways, the idea behind that is more students will learn it, because one of the methods is likely to match the way their brain processes things. Isn't recovery really just a bit of retraining our brain? Why not look at several methods until we find what fits best?

Another thing that I found helpful at least, was the idea of lifestyle balance. For me when I was first in recovery I would get some time in and I'd pick up another activity or hobby to fill the time and everything would just be humming along. Then I'd get bored with the new hobby, soon enough I'd relapse. This time I ran across the idea of lifestyle balance. That is don't replace addiction with some other single focus, be it recovery meetings, exercise program or whatever. Yes in the beginning single focus can be good and maybe even necessary for success. Eventually it's not enough though. If you fill you life with lots of things, I think your chances are better anyway. You are probably a son, daughter, church member, father, wife, baker, employee, swim instructor, student, neurosurgeon, PTO secretary, cub scout leader or whatever else already. Perhaps you have some hobbies too. If not it's a great time to get some or maybe take those viola lessons you always wanted. The idea of lifestyle balance is that if you fill your life and divide your time between several meaningful (to you) activities, when eventually you get bored or move on from one or two, there isn't a big void. You have some wiggle room, so to speak, while you look for the next one or two things to add back into the mix, if your living a balanced life. The idea is that we all continue to grow and learn. You will out grow or move on from many of the things you find fulfilling today. Moving on and finding new stimulating activities is an important and natural thing.

I think regardless of the program or method of recovery a person takes that if you have success in long term recovery a part of it is going to be either re-building your life or building a new life if you never had much of one prior to addiction. The life balance method or something similar to it like a spiritual awakening or renewed sense of purpose in life, I think is probably common to a lot of people in long term recovery. I think it's true whether it is something they did with a conscious effort or not.

Imagine yourself in a successful long term recovery. What does that look like? Assume for a moment you conquer your addiction, it's a thing of the past, that you are now leading a completely satisfying life and that it's five or ten years in the future. What does that look like?

One last thing. If you could only do one thing to improve your physical health, mental health, overall well being and chances of long term recovery, what would it be? For me the answer would be, exercise. A 30 minute walk five times a week, isn't too hard to fit into most peoples schedule. There isn't any empirical evidence I am aware of to support this, but from a personal experience I suspect the exercise answer is pretty true. I'm sure there are some exceptions for post surgery and such, but have you ever gotten off the tread mill or back from a bike ride and regretted doing it? The good thing here, is you don't have to do just one thing. If exercise isn't already in you list of tools though, maybe give it a shot.

Well that's what was on my mind for now.

Take care,
Todd
ToddE1 is offline  
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to ToddE1 For This Useful Post:
Artful (03-29-2014), CanadaJanIr (03-24-2014), cleaninLI (03-22-2014), Dee74 (03-22-2014), Discovery14 (03-23-2014), fenix130 (03-27-2014), freshstart57 (03-22-2014), kiki1988 (03-22-2014), LBrain (04-08-2014), lifetplant (03-25-2014), Lovenjoy (03-24-2014), mecanix (03-23-2014), Nonsensical (03-23-2014), Ornithology (03-24-2014), Received (03-22-2014), RobbyRobot (03-22-2014), roguedreams (04-07-2014), silentrun (03-22-2014), SoberKat9 (03-22-2014), topspin (03-23-2014), Weasel1966 (03-23-2014)
Old 03-22-2014, 05:37 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 195,125
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks for your post Todd - thats pretty similar to what I did - in 25 words or less I built a life I didn't want run away from, and I've worked hard at being someone I don't need to escape from

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Cascabel (04-19-2014), cleaninLI (03-22-2014), kiki1988 (03-22-2014), lifetplant (03-25-2014), mecanix (03-23-2014), Received (03-23-2014), RobbyRobot (03-22-2014), roguedreams (04-07-2014), ToddE1 (03-27-2014), Weasel1966 (03-23-2014)
Old 03-23-2014, 02:48 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,716
Blog Entries: 20
Excellent post. So much win.
Nonsensical is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Nonsensical For This Useful Post:
mecanix (03-23-2014), ToddE1 (03-27-2014), Weasel1966 (03-23-2014)
Old 03-24-2014, 05:21 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ornithology's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland
Posts: 482
Thank you for the thoughtful post. It came at just the right time for me; I'm seven months in and trying to understand what I need to do to sustain this new way of living.
Ornithology is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Ornithology For This Useful Post:
ToddE1 (03-27-2014)
Old 03-24-2014, 01:36 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,802
Blog Entries: 22
Originally Posted by ToddE1 View Post
The idea behind it is that everyone's brain processes things differently.... If they teach multiple ways, the idea behind that is more students will learn it, because one of the methods is likely to match the way their brain processes things. Isn't recovery really just a bit of retraining our brain? Why not look at several methods until we find what fits best?
I was thinking the same thing, Todd, when I ran across something about Learning Styles and wondered if our learning style in any way influenced our recovery.

Learning styles are the different ways we learn. Someone may be very good and writing and speaking, someone else can be shown how to do a complex task and can master it in one try. Others may learn alone, while another may learn best in a group.

Since we are "learning" to live sober, our learning style should be taken into consideration. I've seen a number of newcomers who use SR as their sole means of recovery and they struggle. Why? Perhaps the online format does not align with their learning style...they may need a group setting, need to be walked through a specific process, step-by-step, by someone with knowledge and experience. Even lack of computer skills can account for someone struggling with using SR as their primary recovery tool.

In the same way, a recomendation to read such-and-such a recovery book won't help if the person lacks ability to self study or comprehend written content.

I think it's important when deciding to add to your recovery tool set, or if someone suggests that you create a recovery plan, that you think about how you learned in the past, determined what worked and what didn't, and align your recovery methods to those learning styles.
doggonecarl is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:
Nonsensical (03-25-2014), ToddE1 (03-27-2014)
Old 03-25-2014, 02:38 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,716
Blog Entries: 20


Additionally, I think our minds apprehend (or misapprehend ) information differently. For example, Carl and I briefly debated the word resolve a few months ago, finding that it means slightly different things to he and I.

Examples of different interpretations of some of the major recovery programs are plentiful on this forum. People apprehending the same information in different ways that make sense to - and frequently work for - them.

There are a few hard cases kicking about that believe there is only one way to be sober- the way that worked for them. That just wasn't working for me.
Nonsensical is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Nonsensical For This Useful Post:
LBrain (04-08-2014), Sparkos (03-28-2014), ToddE1 (03-27-2014)
Old 03-25-2014, 09:19 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 182
Blog Entries: 13
Thanks for the great post Todd. I know that sobriety is a choice of the moment (as in being in) for me but I've been thinking ahead a little bit lately wondering on what challenges I might face and how I might prepare for them. Boredom/ staleness is at the top of my list, not just simple boredom, but more getting tired of the same old thing, the same routines, the same daily struggle. I like your iddeas about rotating in activities, and I'll think on that. Also I'm on board with your thoughts about rebuilding life. For me this is the part about getting to the underlying causes, facing them perhaps for the first time as an adult, and really growing out of the addiction. Hm, I like the sound of that. Sure it's all about will power and determination right now, but someday I hope to grow my way permanently into a full and healthy life of abstinence.
adams is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to adams For This Useful Post:
ToddE1 (03-27-2014)
Old 03-25-2014, 09:29 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Fantastic post Todd..........so fantastic, i've copied and pasted it to a word do that I intend to print out tomorrow at work ( I hope you don't mind). It's a post I want to read, re-read and re-read again.

so far I have struggled and as Dee so concisely put it...........I no longer want to exist in a life I constantly feel I need to run away from.

Thank you again for your post and extremely wise words
lifetplant is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lifetplant For This Useful Post:
Nonsensical (03-25-2014), ToddE1 (03-27-2014)
Old 03-27-2014, 03:33 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ToddE1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: MI
Posts: 50
Thanks for the comments and feedback folks
ToddE1 is offline  
Old 04-07-2014, 11:08 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
roguedreams's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lawrence, KS
Posts: 250
So I'm sitting here, poking around the various threads on the forums here. Reading about AA, AVRT, etc.

Just as I was thinking to myself, man, the plan I have in mind for me is a combination of a little of all these things (plus some recovery techniques I learned in my ED recovery) ... I stumbled across this post.

So very apt!!! Perfect timing too. Thank you so much for this, ToddE1, aka the Mind Reader helped reaffirm what I had just been thinking.

roguedreams is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to roguedreams For This Useful Post:
LBrain (04-08-2014)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:52 PM.