A New Year, A New Thread
 

Well after I managed to survive both Christmas and New Year fully sober I decided to start this new thread. It really helps just to write something down, even if no one replies or reads it. I imagine my updates may not be quite as often but I will make an effort to keep them coming because last time when I stopped I quickly fell back into the bottle.

I'm still buzzing after new year (a clean buzz!), really happy to think it's been so long now since I have had a drink, it's the longest time ever and I passed the biggest tests most of us face. Everyone around me was drinking and laughing but I was sober and still enjoyed myself.

Thinking of you all.

Good for you Davey and a very happy New Year.

I'm currently down and out with some crazy virus and feel like I've been trampled by herd of horses and then set aflame.

If I'm not better by Wednesday, it's off to the doctor I go.

I'm sorry to hear how you are recieived, you sonud like me before new year, I hope you don't end up on antibiotics and steroids like I did!

I hope you're both feeling better. It always suck to be sick, but doubly so when you're in the middle of a Polar Vertex!:gaah Can't say as I've ever been a fan of winter and I like it even less when it's -20 F.

You know myth I'm supposed to be an adult and yet I still get excited at seeing snow and building a snowman lol. Still the weather you guys are having over there seems nuts. Hope everyone is safe and well.

Davey!

Merry New Year! Someone posted elsewhere a question of who made it through the holidays without drinking and I thought to myself, "Gee, it didn't even occur to me that I should have thought about drinking." Not once did I have a struggle, or a wish to drink, or even an idea that I am someone who may want the drug. That is why I loved AVRT!

Good to see you, amigo!

Robert congratulations! I myself don't follow AVRT but I know it works wonerfully for many here and it's fantastic to hear you had such a good new year. I must admit I was not someone who forgot alcohol during christmas and new year but at least I didn't have them and that's all that matters. I hope to get to your level someday when it doesn't even cross my mind.

Your thought process is an inspiration to me.

I'm still sober and happy about it. I'm currently going through a really nasty situation, I witnessed a really terrible thing. I won't relate this as it's just far too personal, but it has caused me some serious upset. It has taken more willpower than ever to remain sober. I've had a few anxiety attacks after what I witnessed but I'm slowly recovering.

Maybe another test of my sobriety is a good thing.

Keep pushing through Davey. You're in my thoughts.

And my thoughts as well, Davey. Sorry you're feeling anxiety.

I'm ok guys, the anxiety attacks are a new thing and the result of what I recently experienced. I dont' want to go into it, just something I witnessed and that I have to deal with. After what I saw I may be having some PTSD stuff. But it's too early to say that's what I'm looking at.

I was in full shock for a day after all this, it's actually kind of upsetting to see the messages I sent to someone on this forum I trust because I just repeated myself over and over, the comments are very blank, classic shock. Still I'm working through it.

As I have said before, without being able to admit things to this forum I would have just ended up drinking. So thanks to everyone, and the persons I have contacted privately know I have an extra thanks aimed at you.

Then I'm glad you have SR! I know what you mean in a way; drinking used to be my way of coping with everything. Literally anything that went wrong in the slightest way was an excuse to get plastered. But since I took that option off the table I've actually found myself coping a lot better. I guess we all have legit coping skills but many of us never use them because it's easier to rely on chemical self medication.

I also recently had a personal experience that quite rattled me, and probably will for some time. Just for an instant part of me thought I might as well drink, but that was just a fleeting thought.

Just reporting in.

I've been having some anxiety attacks after my recent unpleasant experience but I'm dealing with it. I think the anxiety problems are basically the emotions working their way out so despite them feeling awful I think this is a positive thing.

My sleep has been suffering, it's around 4am here and I still don't feel like sleeping. I guess that's another symptom.

I'm not drinking, I keep feeling the need but I also feel like I'm in control. I'm hoping this unpleasant situation I witnessed will wear off soon, because this weird sleep pattern I'm having isn't very helpful for recovery.

I have suffered from insomnia much of my life. I know what you mean in your last sentence.

I just finished dealing with an awful situation, and spent many sleepless nights. If I can't sleep dry documentaries on subjects I find interesting help. Something about an hour of the same narration seems to be the key. And if I don't sleep during it, at least I learned something. Some nights I'll watch 5 on one subject. Or like last night I fell asleep twice during one I'm really interested in.

I find, white noise, like a fan or a sound machine helps the noise in my head settle down a bit.

Thanks for all of the suggestions, I have tried them but it's no help. I can't understand why my sleep is suddenly suffering, there are no great life stresses, no health issues beyond the normal, nothing. I've tried a hot shower late at night, relaxing music, a bedtime routine, valerian route and even over the counter sleep medication, nothing has worked.

Hopefully this is a temporary thing.

I find eating an apple or banana right before bed time helps too. I think it probably has something to do with my sugar levels but I'm not a doctor.

Hey guys. My sleep pattern is still a bit of a problem, I saw my doctor but he said heavy sedatives are not the answer as it's artificial sleep and not the same thing as natural sleep. I really think this is temporary, just a small bump on my recovery road so I'm going to keep trying the natural approach.

I'm not too bad atm, a few anxiety attacks but they seem to be less and less. I what I recently witnessed just had to work it's way out of my system, emotions coming out in bits and pieces you know? So I imagine I'll be a lot better soon :)

Still struggling with sleep. 3am here and I just woke up because I had a flashback to the thing I recently witnessed. It is calming down but I think this will take a while. I seem to be having a number of nightmares, all centered around this incident. I seem to have good and bad nights, some nights it leaves me alone, others I either can't sleep or wake up every hour. In my waking hours I seem to be ok now so that's progress.

Hang in there, Davey. I'm sorry you're going through this but I'm betting it will work itself out given time. Regular sleep is one of the main reasons lots of us started drinking to excess.

Nights can be tough. I'm at least grateful your having better days.

Like Myth said, hang it there. We're here for you.

I seem to be unlucky lately. I've caught some other illness now, I have glands showing up in my neck, shoulders, armptis and basically I'm feeling awful. Thinking this is full on flu. Really didn't need this right now but hey on top of my ordinary illness it means I can barely leave my bed to ge to the bathroom, so no chance I can drink no matter how ill I get because I can't walk to the shop to buy the demon drink.

Really hoping this passes soon because the pain is really awful and my usual medications are barely covering the pain. I'm reserving my stronger meds, I will only ever use those when the pain is just unbearable.

You can outlast it, Davey! I know it sucks to be that sick, and I feel for you. Take care of yourself and try to be as patient as you can.

Hey thanks for the support. I'm having soem real trouble, sorry if it sounds "man flu" like but really it's just because my other illness makes everything a lot worse. I have glands the size of marbles in my neck, shoulders and armits atm, so even lying down is very painful.

It'll pass, that's what I keep telling myself but it will no doubt take it's time.

I've been having some personal troubles lately, friends and family, that kind of thing. Managed to get over whatever I caught but so much stress is on my that I have thought about drinking in the last few days. I haven't fallen victim to that nasty little voice though.

Hang in there, Davey. You got better things to think about then drinking, goes without saying. Stress can always be managed and worked out when we put our minds to the task. You've already accomplished so much in 2013 and 2014 is already a continuation of your progressive success! Sorry your having family stressors. Hope things ease up asap. Take it easy, Davey. :)

I have "seen" so much growth in you since you quit drinking Davey. You know you can NOT drink. You've proven this to yourself. There is not one positive thing that throwing poison down your throat will achieve but there sure is a lot of negative things.

You don't drink. You just don't. Period.

Hey guys, still around and still sober, although I had some really stressful stuff going on as I said.

I have some updates which I need to put forward. As I've explained before I have a very painful condition which really was the main source of my drinking as I was using alcohol to both deal with the pain and the psychological impacts of the pain. I managed to finally talk to my doctor about it and with careful pain management it helped me to get off of the alcohol. I even insured I would not be given the extra powerful medications incase I ended up being addicated to those.

Recently I've been having a lot more pain and so I saw my doctor again. Unfortunately I have developed a rare complication with my condition where fluid filled cysts form in my tissues, mostly the muscles. You would think a bit of fluid wouldn't be a problem but the pain is more than I can describe. I have had 3 of these cysts drained, they use ultrasound to find them and then stick a needle in. However I'm tired of all this so I asked the doctor if I can do this myself. They were very resistant but they finally agreed.

So in the next 2 weeks I am to be given a lesson by a nurse on how to sterilise the area, insert the needle, drain the area, etc. The ultrasound isn't needed as you can feel the lumps in the muscle or other tissue. I had one in my forearm and couldn't rest it on a chair as it felt like someone sticking a knife in my arm!

Still hopefully being able to treat myself will help me to deal with my condition in future.

Wow! That sounds harrowing. At least it will be nice if you're able to drain the cysts yourself. If there any chance that what you have can be cured/treated? Sounds sucky but you seem to be dealing with it as well as one can. You might have to keep the options open for pain meds but I agree- that would be my last resort, too.

Jesus, Davey. You're some tough hombre. One winter while in college back in the '70's after a night at the student pub I slipped on some ice, came down on my right knee at a weird angle on an ice-chunk cracking my femur and really messing up my knee. Off to emergency by taxi, in pain. My knee filled with blood and they drained it by sticking an enormous syringe in several places until drained. Man, that was some hurt. Plaster cast around my leg for six weeks. I was already on crutches when I slipped. How surreal that now that same leg is itself gone, lol.

I've lived / am living with chronic pain and I know what it can do to a man over time. Even when its managed there are still consequences and layers of responsibilities all entwined in the experience. It can become a real nightmare, and a special kind of toughness is required to meet the daily challenges , dismiss those nightmares, and somehow have a better day in spite of the pain and mental angst. The toughness changes a man nonetheless and a balance is needed else the whole thing can slide sideways creating more troubles. Your already aware of all this, and I have only respect for your experiences. Sobriety will and can always be that restorative balance. Sobriety was and still remains so for me.

You're a good man, Davey.