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Old 06-07-2014, 12:07 AM
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That's awesome, Davey! A trackball would be easier to use from bed for sure.

I think you're 100% right about appreciating the little things being necessary for sobriety. Ultimately life is all about those moments that combine to form the narrative of your life. Money is great because it can buy freedom, at least to some degree. But you can't take money with you when you die, and while it can buy health care it can't buy health itself.

Tonite was my first night back to work after my four day mini vacation. Things were chaotic and a couple of the other guys were griping about something. It struck me that just standing there in this skin listening to them complain- that's an interesting experience. Life is just us processing and assigning meaning to experience. There maybe is not 'perfect life', just life and what we make of it.
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Old 06-07-2014, 08:30 PM
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Myth I was feeling a bit down yesterday and when I read your post it really helped cheer me up. I wanted to reply then but my hands were really stiff so I couldn't type easily sorry.

I always have to remind myself that peoples problems are relative. The guys complaining at your work were probably really annoyed, but to me it's a minor issue. The again someone with terrible cancer would likely laugh at my health problems! If I didn't remind myself of this daily I think I'd end up screaming at everyone over the most stupid thngs.
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Old 06-07-2014, 10:14 PM
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It's true that problems are relative. But that's not really even what I mean. After all, taken to the extreme that means only one person could complain, just the one guy who has it worst of all. Everyone has problems that are very serious to them. Someone, maybe it's Dee, has a sig line that says something like "Everyone is fighting a hard battle that you know nothing about. Be kind." That's so true! Everyone has some problem that is very serious to them, and most of the time no one else knows about it.

I admit it would be hard on me to suffer from the kind of illness you do, Davey. So I try not to just glibly be a cheerleader. I know intellectually that it has to be tough but I haven't been in your shoes. But I have been in pain before. It's sometimes hard to find something positive to focus on, especially when you're in pain. I think you're doing a great job, and at the risk of sounding cheesy I'm impressed with the way you deal with it gracefully and manage to stay sober.
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Old 06-08-2014, 02:13 AM
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Sorry I didn't quite get what you were saying, my brain was obviously elsewhere lol, I haven't been sleeping as well as I need really so I'm operating well below the average.

Lol yep we have to avoid the sickly cherleading kind of thing, but I am grateful all the same. I haven't been keeping track of days sober but I know this is the longest I've ever been and I'm feeling the benefits of it. Especially in regards to my mood, although I was never an angry or impatient person when you're in pain you do get snappy with people sometimes. Add alcohol on top of that and I was more snappy than I should have been. Not awful to live with or anything but now I'm definitely finding my patience levels are way higher.
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Old 06-09-2014, 07:33 AM
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I was going to leave the updates off for a while as I like to update only when I'm having a bit of trouble, need to blow off steam or have some kind of thought that seemed important to me even if it's useless to others hehe. However today I had to update for a happier reason.

I woke up today and was mostly pain free! Ok that's a relevant term, I'm still hurting a lot but as I'm so used to really bad pain what I'm feeling right now is like being pricked wit a tiny little needle, it's nothing. I'm completely medication free today, at least so far!

It's rare I get days like this so I'm trying to find something to do (without overding it of course). Just a rare bit of really positive news from me that I needed to share after all my complaining.

I hope you are all finding something good and/or rewarding in your day.
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Old 06-09-2014, 10:37 AM
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Wow Davey, that's awesome! Seize the day!
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Old 06-09-2014, 01:09 PM
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Enjoy your day! Just happens to be my day off so I'm out the door to get some stuff done.
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Old 06-10-2014, 12:18 AM
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Just to say I had an excellent day, I have to be careful about not doing to much but I planted a few things in the garden, everything else is flowering, weeded a bit and generally enjoyed myself getting covered in dirt and watching the robins picking up all the worms and flying off to wherever their nests are.

Aching today of course so back on the pain meds, but was a truly excellent day for me
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Old 06-10-2014, 02:30 AM
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That's great! I wish I had room for a garden but I really don't. I rent and my house is pretty spacious but my yard is really small. Guess you can't have everything.
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Old 06-10-2014, 03:17 AM
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Oh it's not very big, I imagine your yard is probably bigger, americans don't realise the average house they have is massively bigger than the average uk house. Our garden is about 8 meters across and 11 meters long. As I spend so much time at home I've spent years slowly improving it and now it's just beautiful. I love wildlife as well so I planted tons of stuff to attract everything I can. Flowers everywhere and I made sure to stagger their blooming periods so we always have flowers. Now we have tons of bees, butterflies, birds, frogs etc. I even had someone dig a hole under the fence so hedgehogs could get in and eat all the slugs Bird feeders all other the place and someone fitted a nest box for me.

It isn't finished, I have more plans, including maybe some bat boxes but after years of slow steady work I'm really proud of it on a lovely day like this. Although I used sit out there with a glass of wine, can't do that now so coffee it is
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Old 06-10-2014, 05:55 PM
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That sounds most excellent Davey.

We have a Fox back. Just saw it last night while grabbing something out of the car. It was a bit too friendly for me as it wasn't scared at all and got very close to me. It's been a few years since I've seen one.
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Old 06-11-2014, 01:28 AM
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Your yard is three times the size of mine, Davey! I know it's hard to picture but my front yard is very very small. The back yard would be larger but it's gravel and has a free-standing garage on it. It's a really small yard for such a big house. Somewhere down the road I hope to find something with a better yard, maybe something outside of town.
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Old 06-16-2014, 08:55 PM
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Hey guys, not doing too badly pain wise, I am however having a bit of a problem. As I've mentioned before I have these cyst sort of things that occur inside my muscles and my doctors have allowed me to try and drain them myself. Right now I've got a big one in my left forearm, I've tried several times to drain it now, 5 times with small and large bore needles but nothing is really coming out and it's hurting a great deal so I'm off to the hospital today to see what they think. Usual ultrasound stuff I imagine and hopefully they can find a way to drain it otherwise it's a full operation thing where they open the arm and basically remove whatever is in there. Sometimes whatever fills the cysts hardens but usually that takes ages and this is quite new.

I'll keep you informed. Right now apart from hurting it's causing some functional problems with my grip
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Old 06-16-2014, 11:08 PM
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That sucks, Davey! I hope the docs can get you sorted out without too much fuss and aggravation.
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Old 06-17-2014, 09:58 AM
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I know this has got to be fairly aggravating for you, Davey, and I'm sure it's painful. I am pleased that your over all pain is currently being managed successfully though.

Hope all goes well at your appointment. Let us know.
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Old 06-19-2014, 01:06 AM
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Ok so good news, they did the usual ultrasound to exactly place where the cyst was, if it was pushing on any nerves, arteries etc. It was near the point where two muscles join which explains the difficulty I was having with my grip. My attempts to drain it myself were on target but the stuff in the cyst had hardened really quickly for some reason. They delay dealing with it sometimes depending upon various factors but this was too near an artery so they called the specialist who took a look and didn't want to leave it incase it grew and cut off the circulation. I thought they would end up cutting the muscle open but before that they tried injecting something or other into it which helped to loosen things up and then it could all be drained off.

So yeah, happy to say I'm fine, no surgery needed, my grip is back to normal and generally feeling ok. The arm is very sore because they had to palpate the area after injecting stuff, then push hard when draining it etc. But hey it could have been a lot worse.

For all the criticism our NHS gets I think they're great.
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Old 06-19-2014, 02:37 AM
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That is great news! One less worry to deal with. It sucks that the area is sore but it sounds like you caught a break.
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Old 06-19-2014, 03:17 AM
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Oh god yes I caught a break. Blieve me when they had to cut the muscle open once before it took ages to heal and due to complications I had to have physio as the muscle sort of shortened.

The worst one I had was in my backside because every time I sat down it was there, lol I do try and laugh about it now though, like the princess and the pea fairytale
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Old 06-19-2014, 09:43 AM
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Wow. Glad things turned out alright.

Now having one on your derriere? Sorry but I busted out laughing! Princess and the pea
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Old 06-19-2014, 10:56 PM
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Originally Posted by DaveyT View Post

The worst one I had was in my backside because every time I sat down it was there, lol I do try and laugh about it now though, like the princess and the pea fairytale
Years ago I had a cyst there and I know just what you mean! Pretty hard to get comfortable or sit down at all.
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