Having trouble sleeping again today, nearly 4am :(

But hey stil sober and that's all that really matters given the grand scheme of things. I have this one little aspect of control in my life and I will not give it up.

Yeah, one bit of control in a life without much control, that is something sobriety can give. Hope you can manage a bit of sleep.

Not much to update. I'm really very unwell atm, a lot of pain and exhaustion. Sorry I'm not going to be posting much until this passes

Just take care of yourself, Davey. Silly as it sounds to have to say it, that's something we often forget to do.

So sorry Davey. You know how to reach me when you're up to it. I'll keep checking in regularly.

Thank you for the kind and supportive messages, unfortunately I'm going through a very difficult time with my illness so I'm just not up to posting on most days. I can't explain why I've suddenly been experiencing so much pain along with horrible stiff muscles and some other stuff. My illness tends to have up periods and big down periods, then eventually I reach a plateau.. Unfortunately each plateau. gets lower when it happens. Hopefully things will stabalise for a while. Plateaus can last for weeks, months or years, so I'm hoping for years once this once finishes.

Have you explored any odd-ball or out of the box options? Obviously this isn't medical advice but would massage therapy or something like that help? What muscle groups are in the most pain? I hope this isn't a dumb question...:headbange

I'm so sorry DaveyT. I have Huntington's Disease so can really empathize. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Keeping you in my thought.

It's not a dumb question. Massage helps to a point but there are limits. I'm still having a hard time with it atm. Some muscles are so painful can't even lie down normally. That's why I have pain killers but as I said before, I have forced them to limit my options because I was so scared of addiction. Now I just really want them to give me somethign seriously strong to let me get a few hours of relief.

I have been reading up and some people found benefit with ADHD medication so I'm going to discuss that with my specialist.

I don't have huntingtons, my illness is realy weird and uncommon in comparison but huntingtons is awful enough so you I think get where I'm coming from. I guess I'm lucky compared to you becuase I don't get shaking or tremors, just the pain and tightness. Although that can cause some shaking it's not the same thing as you have, at least if I understand it correctly. Right now both my shoulders are so horribly tensing I'm having trouble typing. I can feel a big cyst forming in my leg as well and I know it needs draining but I can feel it's deep so I need to go to hospital for that one as it's near my femoral artery.

God sorry guys these are such depressing updates!

I would say you're doing awesome, Davey! After all, I was a big raging drunk for no reason than that I liked being drunk! :lmao Compared to some I don't really have any serious problems. So I sometimes feel silly telling people "keep your chin up". But realistically I suppose no matter how bad things are everyone probably can think of someone that has it worse.

Healing energy
 

Davey - I don't know what physical ailment you suffer from, but I went into remission from Lyme Disease by using the wisdom of a man named Tom Tam, a healer from China. I was skeptical at first, but I kept at it for several months and eventually had NO symptoms. He is based here in eastern Massachusetts, but there are daily online healing sessions anyone can access. Go to tomtam dot com and have a look. Best of luck in your journey to health!

I am grateful for your concern but sadly my illness is not a curable one at this time. Lymns as I understand it is curable, albeit the time it takes can be very long. I'm being very careful not to disclose my illness because it's rare and would give up my identity very quickly. Although none of my family read this stuff as far as I'm aware I don't even want to risk it you know as none of them know about my alcohol issues.

Herbs and spices won't be helping me I'm sad to say. I get massages when I can handle the pain and they do help but that's about it for me. Although I also try hot baths and steam rooms because they all help the pain in my muscles.

I failed today guys. I'm sober, no alcohol but I was in so much pain I had to call my GP for a home visit. They came and insisted I up my pain medication. I had to accept, the pain is just so awful but I feel like I've failed. I wish I could ahve held out.

I don't like what they gave me, I feel weird and spacey but at least I will be able to sleep tonight.

I wish I could give you guys some more positive news.

No shame in that, Davey. It's not like you went out looking to score drugs. At some point you have to do what you have to do. I hope it takes the edge off enough to get some decent sleep.

Reporting in.

I slept a lot better after the meds I was given, the pain really went away. I felt bad after the first dose, a horrible fuzzy feeling which is unlike being drunk. It was like looking at the world through a soft filter and even touching things seemed weird because the sensation was dulled. The second dose basically knocked me out so hey, sleep was good.

I'm booked into the hospital tomorrow to drai a couple of the cysts which are causing pain and they're sending me to another pain specialist to discuss my future needs.

Glad you were finally able to get some much needed rest. And, you certainly didn't fail at anything.

That's a win in my book, Davey. Sounds like they're taking good care of you.

For what it's worth I sure hope that being able to post here helps. I realize that no one can make it better, but for me just knowing all you guys and gals are there - on the other end of a fiber optic wire - it really helps.

Hey guys, things are going a bit better now, got some new pain meds temporarily while they sort out something more comprehensive and again I've told them my concerns with addiction so it's being taken into account.

MythofSisyphus, yes this forum has helped a great deal. I couldn't do those in person support meetings but this place is great and without it I think I'd have folded a while ago and be back in the bottle.

I really love SR. It's been awhile since I've been seriously tempted to drink but I credit checking in here almost daily for some of my success.

Great to hear you're doing better Davey.