Daydreaming of future drinking
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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Daydreaming of future drinking
So I'm 13 days in to soberism. I've been gung ho about my choice to never drink again. FYI.. Big fan of RR and AVRT. That being said, I know this is my AV talking. I have a Keith Urban concert to go to in Nashville in Feb. My bestie is meeting me there and we 'were' planning to hang out in Honkey Tonk Row... which is bar bar bar bar.... I think of how much fun we could have getting trashed and raising cain. I'm thinking not such a good idea now. How do I tell her? Is it safe to put myself in that environment and still not drink?
Also, planning a trip to San Diego where it was supposed to be a big time party thing. Bars in L.A., Hollywood, Vegas.... Now everything has changed in my life with my choice to never drink again. I'm really getting bummed thinking of all the fun I'm going to miss out on... I need at attitude adjustment...
I'm starting to get depressed thinking of life after drinking. Then I think of my worse hangover which was recently and all the fun I had just wasn't worth the next day.
Also, planning a trip to San Diego where it was supposed to be a big time party thing. Bars in L.A., Hollywood, Vegas.... Now everything has changed in my life with my choice to never drink again. I'm really getting bummed thinking of all the fun I'm going to miss out on... I need at attitude adjustment...
I'm starting to get depressed thinking of life after drinking. Then I think of my worse hangover which was recently and all the fun I had just wasn't worth the next day.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
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In Feb by my calculations you'll have less than 3 months, if all goes well. I don't recommend going within 100 yards of a saloon. That is not a good time to be putting yourself in the way of major temptation.
Most of the sober people I know avoid the bar scene -- what's there for you except slipping on people's spilled beer & being a designated driver? It's not that much fun to watch, sober. Unless there's good music or food involved, I'd start thinking about other kinds of trips. Take up scuba diving?
Fantasies are awesome -- this is a good time to dream bigger & better, not about just getting trashed.
Most of the sober people I know avoid the bar scene -- what's there for you except slipping on people's spilled beer & being a designated driver? It's not that much fun to watch, sober. Unless there's good music or food involved, I'd start thinking about other kinds of trips. Take up scuba diving?
Fantasies are awesome -- this is a good time to dream bigger & better, not about just getting trashed.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
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I have no doubt that your Big Plan will stay intact, but your AV will make a ruckus for sure. It will be a challenge for you to enjoy yourself in that environment I would think. I can't see how spending a few hours in a bar to, um, what would you be doing there exactly? Remember that's mainly where folks go to buy alcohol and drink it and get drunk. You will see that is not really a fun thing to watch.
The funner stuff to do is what non drinking folks do, it is for sure. True enjoyment, thrills, excitement, can only happen when all your senses are sharp and you are sober. Keep that in mind when you are planning stuff, you have many more options now that you don't drink.
The funner stuff to do is what non drinking folks do, it is for sure. True enjoyment, thrills, excitement, can only happen when all your senses are sharp and you are sober. Keep that in mind when you are planning stuff, you have many more options now that you don't drink.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Sunshine72 - I am sober four month on the 27th. It was a tough lesson to learn to live sober. To change what I used to find fun was no longer fun anymore sober. Going to a bar is torture and I only endure if I have to like last night's holiday party for work.
I respect Freshstart and he raises a really good point. For me honesty has been key for recovery and sobriety (I view the two differently and I forget if this is the case for RR). So try to ask yourself honestly why would you go into a bar - what is it you seek? If you have to be there try to set a time you can exit. Have a plan with a drink in hand - non alcoholic of course. Just my 2 cents. Congrats on your choice and your 13 days.
I respect Freshstart and he raises a really good point. For me honesty has been key for recovery and sobriety (I view the two differently and I forget if this is the case for RR). So try to ask yourself honestly why would you go into a bar - what is it you seek? If you have to be there try to set a time you can exit. Have a plan with a drink in hand - non alcoholic of course. Just my 2 cents. Congrats on your choice and your 13 days.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 45
sunshine i understand you so much
i only yesterday ound out about RR
and allready daydreaming about newyearseve
and i think freshstart just took my breath away :
"The funner stuff to do is what non drinking folks do, it is for sure. True enjoyment, thrills, excitement, can only happen when all your senses are sharp and you are sober. Keep that in mind when you are planning stuff, you have many more options now that you don't drink.
it is so true
i only yesterday ound out about RR
and allready daydreaming about newyearseve
and i think freshstart just took my breath away :
"The funner stuff to do is what non drinking folks do, it is for sure. True enjoyment, thrills, excitement, can only happen when all your senses are sharp and you are sober. Keep that in mind when you are planning stuff, you have many more options now that you don't drink.
it is so true
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Now everything has changed in my life with my choice to never drink again.
yes, that can be so when you first quit. if your life revolved around drinking and hanging out with others who are drinking....
wasn't a big change what you wanted when you quit? it's kind of WHY i quit; i needed my life to be different than the getting-drunk-one.
you speak of all the fun you used to have drinking, and the fun you're missing...i can't really relate to that, though i felt some of it, too. but it wasn't true. in reality, none of it had been fun for a loooong time.....
yes, that can be so when you first quit. if your life revolved around drinking and hanging out with others who are drinking....
wasn't a big change what you wanted when you quit? it's kind of WHY i quit; i needed my life to be different than the getting-drunk-one.
you speak of all the fun you used to have drinking, and the fun you're missing...i can't really relate to that, though i felt some of it, too. but it wasn't true. in reality, none of it had been fun for a loooong time.....
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 47
The key thing I saw in your post were these words: missing out.
I just recently hit 10 months sober, and for me, one of the most important things I had to get past was this idea of missing out on something. Ask yourself, what are you really missing out on? I personally didn't enjoy being drunk and not remembering things. I have much more fun now that I'm sober.
I assume you're going to a Keith Urban concert because you enjoy his music? I've gone to several concerts throughout my life and I can honestly say the best ones have been the ones I went to sober. There are some concerts I've gone to that I barely remember and I paid a pretty penny for the ticket. How is that fun? Quite a waste of money.
Can you talk to your bestie about your choice and plan accordingly? Are there things you can do that aren't solely bar related around there? I can tell you from experience, going to a bar that the sole purpose is drinking as a sober person isn't fun. It actually can be kind of sad. Not because I want to drink but being around a bunch of drunks make me sad - yet happy I'm not one of them.
I love sports and singing karaoke, so when I go to bars that offer some sort of entertainment, I find it much more fun. Because the point of going is an activity, not getting smashed.
Only you can know what you're comfortable with. But freshstart is right - life is much more fun sober. Everything is sharper, clearer - you are able to experience so much enjoyment. There is much more to life than a bar or a beer. Truly.
I just recently hit 10 months sober, and for me, one of the most important things I had to get past was this idea of missing out on something. Ask yourself, what are you really missing out on? I personally didn't enjoy being drunk and not remembering things. I have much more fun now that I'm sober.
I assume you're going to a Keith Urban concert because you enjoy his music? I've gone to several concerts throughout my life and I can honestly say the best ones have been the ones I went to sober. There are some concerts I've gone to that I barely remember and I paid a pretty penny for the ticket. How is that fun? Quite a waste of money.
Can you talk to your bestie about your choice and plan accordingly? Are there things you can do that aren't solely bar related around there? I can tell you from experience, going to a bar that the sole purpose is drinking as a sober person isn't fun. It actually can be kind of sad. Not because I want to drink but being around a bunch of drunks make me sad - yet happy I'm not one of them.
I love sports and singing karaoke, so when I go to bars that offer some sort of entertainment, I find it much more fun. Because the point of going is an activity, not getting smashed.
Only you can know what you're comfortable with. But freshstart is right - life is much more fun sober. Everything is sharper, clearer - you are able to experience so much enjoyment. There is much more to life than a bar or a beer. Truly.
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Thank you SoberKat9! Congrats on 10 months! That is so inspirational. I have made changes to my Keith Urban trip. My best friend cancelled anyway so that is kind of a relief. My husband and I are flying in on the day of the concert and staying one night in a fancy hotel (not that we can afford it) but hey not spending money on bars and cabs!, and we are flying out the day after. I plan to stroll Honkey Tonk Row in the daytime hours just to see. I have no desire to drink. I am 27 days sober and my urges are getting less. I am having more fun now. However, I'm also bitchy, moody and impatient with everything!! But that's o.k I know it may be part of this process at first. I am going to Keith Urban mostly because I LOVE his music and secondly he is just eye candy. And did you know Keith Urban is also a recovering addict and alcoholic. He is such an inspiration to me that he is still true to himself and his rock and roll career and maintains his sobriety. I love it!!
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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66 days sober and I have come a long long long way with my attitude of feeling like I would be 'missing out' if I no longer drink. Boy did I have it backwards. I have been 'missing out' on the true beauty of my life... It feels so wonderful, yes the daydreaming is still there but I'm learning how to re-direct those thoughts. ahhhh.... 
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Originally Posted by sunshine72 
So I'm 13 days in to soberism. I've been gung ho about my choice to never drink again. FYI.. Big fan of RR and AVRT. That being said, I know this is my AV talking. I have a Keith Urban concert to go to in Nashville in Feb. My bestie is meeting me there and we 'were' planning to hang out in Honkey Tonk Row... which is bar bar bar bar.... I think of how much fun we could have getting trashed and raising cain. I'm thinking not such a good idea now. How do I tell her? Is it safe to put myself in that environment and still not drink?
I have 3+ months under my belt and I can say thoughts about drinking is really on the wane for me. Such a relief, and I can only imagine it will get better with each sober month.
I'd recommend avoiding environments until you feel more solid with your sobriety. It will get easier over time as long as you stay sober.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Congrats! Yeah, the idea of "missing out" is a seductive notion, but not really accurate for most of us. If drinking was just a fun activity that we enjoyed without consequences we wouldn't be here at SR. George Carlin hit it on the head; in the beginning drinking/drugs is almost all fun with very little pain, but as we keep doing it we reach a point where it's very little pleasure and mostly painful. A normal person would realize it's time to quite before reaching that point. That's what separates us from "normal" people.
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