misspond

I hope that this is the right place to start this discussion.

My first time round here on SR I tried hard to stay sober and then I relented, drank a glass which soon turned back into a bottle a night (and the rest when it was available to me). I'll spare you the story, I'm sure it's a familiar one even if the fine detail differs

Anyway. When I first gave up smoking 3 years ago I had read Allen Carr's book and I'll be honest, first time round I sort of gave up and then I did the old, "I'll just have one, it won't hurt" and obviously it did hurt and I was back to smoking. I told myself that it was justified as my relationship was breaking down.....children involved.....no money......blah blah blah. I made excuses for myself. I moved out and decided that I really did want to stop smoking. I didn't re-read the book but I did recall the basic idea - you're not "giving something up", you're stopping doing something that is harmful. There were times when I wanted a cigarette but I did not give in. In my mind I saw myself as a non-smoker. I didn't want smelly breath and yellow teeth and black lungs. And now? Two years on I feel like I was never a smoker and i can't bear to smell it on other people, hate the smell of a cigarette in the street.

When I signed up here in March I was committed to giving up drinking, but not quite enough. So after a month I stopped coming here and I started drinking again. This time around I am committed and I read the RR/AVRT website and have ordered the RR book. I LOVE the responsibility that this method affords me. I choose not to drink, and I will never change my mind. It's so simple. If I start to think about it, to rationalise how I might be able to worm my way out of this deal, how I could say to myself, "yes, but.....I'm so stressed......I'm so lonely.......as a single parent who does everything.......as a single woman with no partner.....as someone who needs a better job and more money.......as someone who......." "I can't help it, I have to."

See even as I write this my AV is offering me ways out.....but I won't. I will take this simple solution and apply it to my life and my life is already better for it.

hypochondriac

This simple method really helped me stay sober. I drank after staying sober for a week and then came back here and did the crash course. That was enough for me really, though I bought the book too. There are a lot of good ideas in there but just the act of recognising your drinking thoughts as AV really sorted it. I still needed support in other areas but I do credit AVRT with keeping me sober Glad it's working for you x

misspond

I think it's interesting that really the crash course is all that's required but that there's a book there too. It's a dichotomy really but again, if you question too hard the house of cards can come falling down. My desire is to think about drinking as I now do about smoking (and drugging, I didn't go into that one but all of that is behind me too). AVRT is an awesome tool so long as one does not place a crowbar against it and push too hard. And if I can see that the idea of placing a crowbar against it is my AV then all is good. x

hypochondriac

There is a lot of other info in the book, more of the deprogramming and stuff like that, but I didn't find that relevant to me as it was my first attempt at sobriety. I am sure it would be helpful to some people x

freshstart57

This is fabulous news, MissPond. Congratulations to you on your decision, and on your Big Plan.
Recognize and Identify. Separate. Accept. So set your confidence in yourself at 11, and consider all self doubt to be your AV. Onward!

fini

misspond,
glad you found something that works for you. no, let me correct that: you found something that you can work.
the essence of it: there is no ' Yes,....BUT'!

MythOfSisyphus

I haven't had any desire to dig any further than the crash course. That's my reason, too- no need to overthink it. To me, recoverism is dangerous. I don't feel a need to fix myself or find God, I just need to not drink. My life isn't "broken" beyond that. Many folks seem to have a "spiritual awakening" and get religious when they get sober, and they think God was the difference. But in my experience so far, getting sober IS the experience and the difference. You begin to reach the full flowering of yourself once you stop the destructive behavior. No knock on those who are religious and/or use AA...whatever you need to do is what you need to do. There's no wrong way to stop drinking so long as you stop drinking.

dwtbd

Early in my drinking career (when I didn't realize it was a career) I was exposed to a lot of AA by association. It never sat well with my beliefs then, life long atheist and didn't like the idea of 'groups' whatsoever. ( I was/ am big fan of Roark and Galt).
In the end of my drinking career, I became so desperate to understand why I couldn't stay quit that I decided that I would have to try a step 'program'. I guess along the way I had absorbed the idea that that route was the only way to regain sobriety. I absorbed the cultural bias , my bad.
One of the things that struck me in reading RR was the political aspect of the recovery movement and the strength it has in shaping cultural bias. JT deserves a huge box of kudos for trying to fight against that bias. When RR and AVRT become more wide spread , I feel more people will seek recovery.

mecanix

I've never read the book or done the crash course or any kind of recovery program , i only found SR after being sober for 9 months .

I just looked at my life, the evidence of experience and decided to quit no matter what , i noticed it was always my arm that lifted drink to my mouth .
So obvoiusly i was always in control . My arm dosn't go up to my mouth by itself ever without me wanting to move it , it just kinda dangles .

I also noticed no-one had ever died from a craving , detox maybe but not craving , but had from taking drink and drugs. thefore i thought craving is something born out of our minds and thoughts as it has no physical manifestation , it's not hot , it's not cold , sharp , soft , rough .

Then my brain went on to negotiate with me , what if i lost my motor skills ? what if i lost my sight ? or hearing ? No no no NO was the answer .

I realized i need never drink again if i didn't want to and i haven't . Welcome to freedom .

Although i do try to make my sober life as glorious as possible , but to me that just seems sencible dosn't it ?

Bestwishes, m

Fandy

my big plan isn't such a big deal either...i 've only read the rr website twice...but it makes sense for me...i also have Jason Vale's book but have read past the first chapter.

Baleine

I also love the simplicity of it and I used Allen cars book to stop smoking. I feel like if I can do it with smoking I can definitely do it with drinking. I had a party last night at our place, small, just a few people over but I was the only one not drinking and it was totally fine.

The separation/disassociation is incredibly powerful. I am having the pangs of 'you're not that bad, one drink won't hurt' etc and then I think firstly, that's not me thinking that and secondly, I don't want one drink, I want loads because its a drug and I want to get bombed. That tends to bring me to my senses. It's like when Allen Carr said - a smoker would smoke old rope if he could find it. You can't have just one because it just starts the cycle of wanting more. The minute you have one, its all over because then you start to chase the high.

dwtbd

That in essence is what RR talks about, bottles don't open , arms don't move, by themselves. I'm grateful those ideas were put in print, for whatever reason I was too stupid to realize and implement the process of ending 'my' addiction. Stop using the substance, whodda thunk it, brilliant!

Fandy

every morning i am grateful to wake up sober....i do say to myself ," i'm not going to drink today and i am not changing my mind".....depending on how my day goes i've said this in a variety of ways....
i'm not going to drink this hour, i'm not going to drink after the arguement, i'm not going to drink to solve problems...etc.