Blogs


Notices

paranoia

Old 08-15-2013, 06:55 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cleopatra1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
Blog Entries: 1
Question paranoia

hi peeps,,,im going thru a tough time this week,,im not sure if its paranoia or is it really me??
am i just an attention seeking mofo??

im normally upbeat ,,but wow,,this has really got to me today.

i feel that ,,ive had SOOOOOOOO much attention,,during my drinking days esp,,wow,,look at me everyone,,yeh ,,that kinda thang,,,and now im sober,,,i kinda am boring?? and dont want it at all,,but secretly i do?? omg??

ive always had to fight for some when young,,yep the youngest of 6 brothers!! but i think its in me ,,ya know??

ive not been ere for a while,,,then this past two wks,,ive hooked back up again,,being here nrly all day xx ive written lots of posts,and some pms too,,but im scared im doing it for attention??
tbh,,i get arssy when i dont get a reply!!!! whf???

i think maybe im looking into this way too much,,and i do know that peeps have their own stuff to deal wiv,,im just acting like a spoilt brat xx

so ,,if ive offended anyone,,im sorry ,,if i havent,,then great !!

PLS REPLY,,,IF U DONT I WILL CRY,,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxlol

not sure if this is wot i want to get across,,,im a nice gal,,just need some truths maybe??? or am i just confused?

still in early recovery,,still learning to love myself again i spose??

help!!
hugs xx cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx
Cleopatra1 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Cleopatra1 For This Useful Post:
ando68 (08-15-2013), LSC1 (08-22-2013), mecanix (08-25-2013), MidnightBlue (08-15-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013), ReadyAndAble (08-24-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013), wiscsober (08-15-2013)
Old 08-15-2013, 07:11 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Sober since October
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Hi, Cleo)

First - you boring? Please!

I can't tell for everyone, but I am questioning myself the same question from time to time - do I seek attention?

I think it's somewhere in our genes to seek attention, understanding, compassion, heck, even praise) And I believe it's great that you give yourself a pain to ask yourself about this. And what is more - you are brave enough to write a post about it!

You are surely a nice and absolutely awesome gal. And I, personally, love you see you posting or messaging regardless of what are your "deep" reasons behind it)

Please, don't cry)))

I am kind of addicted to SR and I think it's much better than to be addicted to wine)

Big hugs to you!

Keep you chin up and post as much as you want to))))

P.S. I am packing my stuff to be your personal trainer))))
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
ando68 (08-15-2013), Cleopatra1 (08-15-2013), mecanix (08-25-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013), wiscsober (08-15-2013)
Old 08-15-2013, 07:11 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,142
Cleo,
if you feel you need attention, then...what's wrong with that? nothing!

if you're missing the attention-action, it's great you see that and are talking about it as opposed to drinking to get it
fini is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to fini For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-15-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013), wiscsober (08-15-2013)
Old 08-15-2013, 07:24 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cleopatra1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
Blog Entries: 1
Ty friends...i honestly wasnt writin it for attention...just curious if im not alone in this .xxx thank you sooooo much for yr...well attention ...lol...really tho...thankx ...xxx
Cleopatra1 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Cleopatra1 For This Useful Post:
MidnightBlue (08-15-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013), wiscsober (08-15-2013)
Old 08-15-2013, 07:40 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
Cleo, you could NEVER be boring. Every post I read of yours makes me smile, you're a ray of sunshine on SR x
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-15-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013), Sasha4 (08-19-2013), wiscsober (08-15-2013)
Old 08-15-2013, 07:55 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Blog Entries: 22
You are doing well!
wiscsober is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to wiscsober For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-15-2013)
Old 08-15-2013, 08:53 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cleopatra1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
Blog Entries: 1
Thank u jeni...yr sweet....and i am so greatful for all my friends here....wiscober....mmm kay....thankx ..mmmm kay ...lv lv south park sooooooo much....u r sweet...and yes ..drugs are bad...mmmmm kay xxxxx

Last edited by Cleopatra1; 08-15-2013 at 08:56 AM. Reason: Spelling
Cleopatra1 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Cleopatra1 For This Useful Post:
mecanix (08-25-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013), wiscsober (08-15-2013)
Old 08-15-2013, 03:23 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 347
Cleo I want to thank you for this post because recenetly I posted the same damn thing in one of my threads. I felt I was not giving back to the community and the guilty crept in but these people on this forum are so fantastic they put my fears to bed.

You take care of yourself. Stay sober, be honest with us if you can't be honest with those close to you and remember there is no shame here.
DaveyT is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DaveyT For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-15-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013)
Old 08-16-2013, 10:10 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
sunset01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
Hey cleo,
Wanting to have connections with people even a cyber connection isn't attention getting.....It's perfectly natural. At least that's the way I see it....mmmmmmkayy? used to love south park too!!!!!
sunset01 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sunset01 For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-17-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013)
Old 08-17-2013, 06:05 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cleopatra1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
Blog Entries: 1
i spose when it boils down to it,,im lonely!!!
i really am xxx
ty peeps xxx
cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Cleopatra1 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Cleopatra1 For This Useful Post:
mecanix (08-25-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013), Sasha4 (08-19-2013)
Old 08-17-2013, 06:16 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Blog Entries: 9
Hi Cleo, good job on sobriety. To me, early sobriety was boring. And I was paranoid. I think that is normal when getting sober. After sobertime, I wasn't bored or paranoid anymore. I think it will improve for you. Don't cry honey. Nothing wrong with seeking support. We are here for you. Hang in there. All these things will improve.
pinkdog is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to pinkdog For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-17-2013)
Old 08-17-2013, 06:57 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cleopatra1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
Blog Entries: 1
ty,,yes,,i know it ,,,i am sooooooooooooo lonely,,,my kids dont need me quite as much now,,15 and 17,,,and hubby is a stoner,,,so im not on his "wave" at all,,sometimes.
im also going thru a family issue,,my neice has stopped talking ti me cos i brought her up on an issue she needed to address,,,ive done all i can for her and her two young kids,,really have treated her like a daugghter ,,and shes now tryin her dammdest to stir it all up wiv my other family memebers,!! gee,,,oh hum xx
so,,,im feeling qiute low atm,,,i really feel like a drink ,,but i wont,,and i know i will never drink again,,,but boy is this beast comin a calling lately,,,oh hum ,,indeed ,,
i think ,"whats the point to all this",,when my life is still the friggin same ole crap as it was when drinkng,,,but then i look proper,,,and i know its a heeluvva lot better ,,,really better ...
so ,,once again ,,im drawn to sr,,,i was up till 4am last nite ,,,just reading,,wanting to cry so much ,,cos im so lonely,,,but i eventually dropped off,,,thankx sr peeps ,,,you really are saving me rite now,,xxx
hugs xx cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ps,,sorry to go on,,just needed to get it out xxx
Cleopatra1 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Cleopatra1 For This Useful Post:
mecanix (08-25-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013), Sasha4 (08-19-2013)
Old 08-17-2013, 06:55 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cleopatra1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
Blog Entries: 1
Wish this page was more active...maybe i should stay in newbies page...maybe u peeps r too intelliget for me...andmy posts are a wee bit trivial...sorry seccies ..i wont bother again...but i will miss u lot...seem i felt at home ere...but i cant compete wiv more in depth stuff...xx lv n hugz tho ...cleo xxxx
Cleopatra1 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cleopatra1 For This Useful Post:
mecanix (08-25-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013)
Old 08-17-2013, 07:15 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Nothing wrong with wanting and asking for some attention, Cleo. Sorry you are going through some stuff at home. How are you dealing with your hubby still using? I don't know how I'd be able to handle that, honestly... sounds tough. I'm sure you must be stressed, I can read it in your posts on this thread.

Anyway, don't know what else to say but that I'm "listening" And I'm sure you're intelligent enough... lol, why worry about your intelligence on here? We are a forum full of recovering addicts and alcoholics for goodness sake I'm sure all of us have sacrificed a few brain cells
Soberpotamus is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Soberpotamus For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-21-2013), mecanix (08-25-2013), pinkdog (08-17-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013)
Old 08-17-2013, 08:15 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
sunset01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
Hi cleo,
to me intelligence is relative, yes there are people out there who are booksmart (who have left me floored by their knowledge, even the way they think), but there are also many more people who get their intelligence from life experience, both are important in my opinion and I enjoy listening and learning from both.

Sorry to hear about your probs at home, sometimes it's hard to watch loved ones heading for a crash and not say anything, sometimes you have to step back and let people make their own mistakes, my rule of thumb is, if they ask I'll give my honest opinion, they can take it or leave it. If they do crash and burn and I love them I just be there to help pick up the pieces without judging them. Having said that I don't take on more than I can handle.. Hoping your feeling better. stay strong. stay positive xxoo
sunset01 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sunset01 For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-21-2013), mecanix (08-25-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013)
Old 08-18-2013, 08:48 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Sober since October
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Hi, Cleo.

Sorry you feel low and have to deal with a lot of issues in your life. Kudos to you for staying sober among all this mess, it takes guts to deal with this sober.

And whatever the life seems to be, it is never the same as if you were drinking - it's really better sober and there's always change to improve things.

The secular section of SR is usually quite slow because not so many people here, so, please, don't take it personally).

I hope you'll stay with us here)

Keep your chin up. You deserve all the attention you want!

Big hugs to you!
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-19-2013), mecanix (08-25-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013)
Old 08-18-2013, 02:52 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Received's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,090
Hey cleo.

Life has been seemingly passing by at lightening speed these days. I just now had the chance to check in long enough to read this thread.

Your elegant simplicity is such an amazing breath of fresh air to me so don't be getting all down on yourself, k? You just be you and that is perfectly perfect!
Received is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Received For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-19-2013), mecanix (08-25-2013), RobbyRobot (08-18-2013)
Old 08-18-2013, 09:37 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Adventures In SpaceTime
 
RobbyRobot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Hi Cleopatra!!

Sorry you've been feeling invisible. As others have already said, no worries about getting noticed. Hope you're feeling better!
RobbyRobot is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RobbyRobot For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-19-2013), mecanix (08-25-2013)
Old 08-19-2013, 02:03 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
1undone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Hi Cleo!

Very good to meet you! I feel the same way about attention at times and I'm still new to all of this - even though I've been a work in progress!!!!! LOL. FOR 3 years.

I think having a stoner hubby would be super hard! He's supposed to be your best bud and partner in life; very challenging.

My son doesn't need me as much anymore too. He is 15. I do feel loss there.

I am thinking about what I can do to connect with healthy people. This site is great but face to face interaction is uplifting for me. I'm not talking about hanging out with other X users but just a healthy friend you enjoy.

I'm thinking about just volunteering somewhere. I want to get sober time in first and go through my workbook that is on it's way.

From what Im reading on this thread you are well liked and you could post a bajillion times. People here get it. I'm worried about my life becoming "vanilla" - boring as well. Pretty normal but hard to get through.

Post away!!!!!
1undone is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 1undone For This Useful Post:
Cleopatra1 (08-19-2013), mecanix (08-25-2013)
Old 08-19-2013, 03:54 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Cleopatra1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
Blog Entries: 1
Ty peeps....ive had a bit of an ephiphany...and...well...im boring..cos im bored....im bored .cos im boring!!! ...yep...i need to get orf my arse ....i need to help others .... i need to be needed....i guess....ive always been a humanitarian...i need to help...and all the peeps directly in my life..dont need me as much now...its kinda hard to accept..but its reality..so.my plan is...tomoz..im gonna look into volunteering in my area...im an ex nurse..so i have various skills too...but my fav is ..chattin and bein wiv the elderly..i miss my patients...i used to stay afta shift when some didnt have any visitors ...just to chat ..i even took up my girls to visit em on my days off...it used to make their day....but i do enjoy history ...and to hear it first hand..well...thats the best....so im gonna enrol onto a local " buddy an old biddy" scheme...think itll bring me outta my shell?? Xx im seriously thankful for the replies...im not an ego git...just well lonely...xxx hugs xx cleo xxxxx
Cleopatra1 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Cleopatra1 For This Useful Post:
mecanix (08-25-2013), ReadyAndAble (08-24-2013), Received (08-19-2013), RobbyRobot (08-19-2013), Soberpotamus (08-19-2013), topspin (08-19-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:56 PM.