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-   -   New and Checking In.... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/299759-new-checking.html)

Mukti3 07-03-2013 06:56 AM

New and Checking In....
 
Hello -

Just wanted to say "Hi" and check-in. I am one day abstinent, nervous and fearful of stepping on toes. I tried AA and did not care for it (for many reasons). I do not think I am in denial or not humble enough. I am an honest, contemplative person who tries to treat others with kindness and respect. I am hopeful I will find others hear who are open minded and supportive.

fini 07-03-2013 07:20 AM

hi Mukti, welcome to you.

and congratulations on your first day and posting regardless of nervousness.

about the toes? eventually you'll step on some. it's a given. so....you'll deal with it when it happens.
nobody gets through life without stepping on some toes!

good to see you here.
particip[ating daily in a sobriety forum has been my main sober-do-thingie.

stick around!

Cleopatra1 07-03-2013 07:20 AM

Welcome mukti3 , may u find lots of support here..us seccies r a nice bunch...hugs xx cleo xxxxx

Nonsensical 07-03-2013 10:26 AM

Welcome to the secular forum. Just don't step on Cleo's toes when she is wearing her new louboutins. :)

I hope you're reading about some of the great non-12-step options that are explained in this section of the SR forums. So much good information. Read, read, read and ask questions. Knowledge is empowering.

You can do this!

Good luck on this journey.

Soberpotamus 07-03-2013 10:37 AM

Hello Mukti, and welcome to SR :grouphug:

Received 07-03-2013 10:50 AM

Hi Mukti and welcome. Glad you found us.

oak 07-03-2013 07:16 PM

Welcome! (I have not been here myself for quite some time)

I hope you find the support you need here.

raku 07-03-2013 07:21 PM

Hello Mukti and welcome !

I like this forum, for a wider perspective of sobriety and recovery. I have some issues with AA, but do incorporate some of the thoughts and attitudes. Day 1 can be tough, but,
in my experience, there is strong resolve which can be the catalyst for the "one day at a time" practice. Keep it up !

raku

freshstart57 07-03-2013 09:15 PM

Hi Mukti. Welcome! Read and post, OK? You can get sober and stay sober for good, I just betcha. Onward!

Bohuntr97 07-04-2013 12:00 AM

I'm relatively new here to, hope you find these forums as useful as I have. Welcome.

sunnyc5 07-04-2013 01:51 AM

hello
 
:a122:

Originally Posted by Mukti3 (Post 4049305)
Hello -

Just wanted to say "Hi" and check-in. I am one day abstinent, nervous and fearful of stepping on toes. I tried AA and did not care for it (for many reasons). I do not think I am in denial or not humble enough. I am an honest, contemplative person who tries to treat others with kindness and respect. I am hopeful I will find others hear who are open minded and supportive.

Hi there

I am quite new to this forum too...after 4 years of AA and getting nowhere fast I am now for the first time in a long time on day 5 sover!!!

sunnyc5 07-04-2013 01:54 AM

Avrt
 

Originally Posted by freshstart57 (Post 4050682)
Hi Mukti. Welcome! Read and post, OK? You can get sober and stay sober for good, I just betcha. Onward!

Hi there I am also using AVRT just wondered if you had any tips i am on day5

freshstart57 07-04-2013 08:20 AM

This AVRT is a mind game, and you get to make up aaaaall the rules, so you can't help but win.

I imagined that my AV was like an old girlfriend I once had that made me miserable at the end. She lied to me, she cheated on me, she stole from me, she made me feel like a piece of rubbish. Just like vodka, check check check and check. What would I do if she were ever to appear at my door? Absolutely nothing. I would smile, look away and close the door, because there is absolutely nothing that would ever make me have anything to do with her ever again. No engagement, no discussion, no arguments, no tears, no emotion, all that has already happened and I will have no more of it.

So, I decided that since I had done this scorched earth separation thing before, I could do it again. I did it with alcohol.

I know that some of us have used another image, maybe a three year old in their care that wants chocolate and crisps and is throwing a temper tantrum at every opportunity. Most kids get a time out until they settle down and understand that when Mum says no, she means it. On the other hand, throwing candy at a child to stop the screaming only leads to more demands, and attempts at reasoning with unreasonable demands is pointless.

What I am getting at is that you get to choose how you separate from your AV. You are in control of your actions. Keep that Big Plan in mind, your vow to remain sober for good, no matter what. Believe that you are able to deal with any eventuality and set your confidence in yourself all the way up to 11.

You are doing just great, SunnyC5. It will get easier for you as time goes on, but when you are challenged by your AV as you will be, it is still of no matter. The reason that it doesn't matter what your AV does, is simply that you have that BP firmly in place.

There is a certain peace that comes from knowing that your AV really is powerless, not you. It is powerless over you, because you say so, and when Mum says no, she means it. Onward!

raku 07-04-2013 06:56 PM

Welcome Sunny and Mukti ! I am relatively "new" as well. Thanks, Freshstart !
I like your analogy...the parent says "NO !" I realize that my having an upbringing that
I was allowed to be pretty out of control (and was left to do alot of my own upbringing)
left me with lots of self-discipline at times and then absolutely none at other times...
To separate myself from the beast, the "I'm just going to do whatever the hell I want to, regardless", is a challenge, to say the least !
Anyone relate ?


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