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Big plan in effect - what do you tell people about drinking?

Old 06-16-2013, 06:03 AM
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Big plan in effect - what do you tell people about drinking?

This is a minor aspect of the RR/AVRT program but I didn't find any suggestions in Trimpey's book (or maybe I missed them). I know you aren't supposed to tell people about your Big Plan - but in terms of not drinking on a given night, what do you say?

Assuming you have to attend a function with friends or colleagues with whom you've shared a drink (or 10) in the past. Anyone have any advice on what you say in terms of not drinking?

I'm fine with saying, no thanks, not tonight. Or I'm getting healthy this month. Just wondered what others have used or thought of in their own recoveries.

Loving RR/AVRT. Thanks so much to this board for the suggestions.
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Old 06-16-2013, 09:43 AM
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I just say I don't drink.
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Old 06-16-2013, 03:29 PM
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It depends on the company I guess. No thanks always works. I have had my share already. It's my night off. I am on a health kick. I am on medication and shouldn't have any.

All of my friends are happy that I no longer drink, so no explanations are necessary for them. It was a worry and a concern for everyone.

Congratulations on making your choice. Well done.
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Old 06-16-2013, 03:49 PM
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If someone asks if I drink I simply say " No ".... If someone asks what I'd like to drink I say "diet coke please." If someone pushes it further I just say " I'm over it."
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Old 06-19-2013, 01:19 PM
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It really depends on the situation. I've used many of the same reasons as freshstart57: No thanks, medication, tired enough already, not feeling well, etc.

People don't usually push or even notice. It's always a much bigger deal for me than it is for them. Dealing with it does get easier and 'smoother' over time.
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Old 06-27-2013, 09:46 AM
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I say, I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE!

Lol, just kidding.
I simply say no thank you, or perhaps if it is someone new in my life, I say I don't drink. That settles it now, and in the future.
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Old 06-27-2013, 08:51 PM
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I'm a newbie and this is my first post but, what has worked for me in my particular "social circle" is to throw a little comedy in it (especially for those who were used to seeing me with a beer in hand, now a diet coke).

I simply say "No thanks, I've decided to give my liver a break". I get a chuckle and often a "good for you" (very rewarding) and then go on with a good conversation. Nobody thinks twice about it.
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Old 06-28-2013, 11:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Bohuntr97 View Post
I'm a newbie and this is my first post but, what has worked for me in my particular "social circle" is to throw a little comedy in it (especially for those who were used to seeing me with a beer in hand, now a diet coke).

I simply say "No thanks, I've decided to give my liver a break". I get a chuckle and often a "good for you" (very rewarding) and then go on with a good conversation. Nobody thinks twice about it.
Bohuntr97,

It's good to hear from folks like you that have made a Big Plan but haven't posted here much at all.

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Old 07-09-2013, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberArtistGirl View Post
People don't usually push or even notice. It's always a much bigger deal for me than it is for them. Dealing with it does get easier and 'smoother' over time.
same, just because our minds at first obsess on drink 24/7 doesn't mean everyone does!

i just say 'i don't drink' and if anyone asks 'why?' 1. i pretty much know they have a problem themselves, sorry but it's true in my experience, which i don't say to get a judgemental kick but rather so in know i may be talking to that person's AV/beast at some point, and

2. i dont even bother trying to explain, because explanations invite criticism (sometimes anyway, especially if the other person is an addict) so i just look at them like they've said something COMPLETELY inappropriate and unpleasant, like they've admitted to molesting cattle or something and say 'i just don't like to' - which is true now, because i don't like to kill myself, act like an idiot, and all the other crud that made me STOP in the first place!

spotting when you're talking to someone else's beast is handy, especially early on, because they can really try and undermine you, someone i know went off on a MAJOR rant at me once about 'why can't you have just the one and enjoy it with a meal' which was EXACTLY what my own AV liked to say and what had many, many times undermined my good intentions before i found AVRT!

it'd be funny if it wasn't sad...

anyway sorry to ramble but just cut the conversation dead if it seems likely you'll be dealing with 2 beasts at once (yours and theirs) because really, who needs that?!
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Old 07-11-2013, 01:50 PM
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I just say no thanks, I just want a water.

The difficult part is meeting new friends and dating new people. The fear is that no one will want to get involved with you as an ex-alcoholic. I just say, I have a DUI and decided to quit drinking because I do not want to risk more problems.

If I didn't have a DUI, I would just say I quit drinking because I didn't like it.
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