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Old 06-07-2013, 12:47 PM
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Studying mindfulness in conjunction with AVRT has been beyond helpful. It helps me to keep in the now and not beat myself up for past mistakes. Soberlicious has far more experience with it then I... but, I am reading Reason the Moment and Recovery. At any rate. I think it is a great idea Non.

Sorry to disappoint some of you, but she's not having me locked up.

I am one of the people who is profoundly disappointed by this.....:rotfxko Jk..lol.
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Old 06-07-2013, 12:50 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Version 2 of the BP was made today. It started spontaneously and finished intentionally.

No Beast activity this morning. I got off work at noon and my daughter called just as I got to my truck to see if I could meet her and my wife for lunch. Of course I agreed. As I was driving there it occurred to me that in the past I would have tried to avoid that lunch. I had a half day off. That was always time to make some excuse - so I could start with beer earlier in the day. Doing that had not even crossed my mind when my daughter asked. At that moment of realization I felt unshackled once again. I felt free. And I loved it. I was beaming in my truck as I drove.

We had lunch in a small place and I had a full view of the bar. My eyes kept drifting up, and the beast would remind me what each familiar bottle tasted like. There was also a beer distributor sitting at the bar, talking (loudly - Dude, inside voices!) about the different beers he could supply the restaurant with, giving tips on how to describe the flavors to customers, etc. I felt a little uncomfortable, but not too bad. But the Beast was stirring.

On my way home I passed a liquor store, and my beast suggested we pull in. I gripped the steering wheel and kept driving. I passed a second liquor store. Same thing. Then I passed a Total Wine and got flooded with the taste of my formerly favorite brew. I swear I could actually taste it. It made me snap. I don't want that sensation, I want the sensation of freedom I had on my way to lunch. I just yelled it out. "No! I am never drinking again!" I paused for a few seconds, knowing what I started, and just decided to finish it. "And I am never changing my mind."

I repeated it a few more times. Then I gave my beast a lecture on what the word "never" means. Not that IT understands or cares, but it made ME feel better. People in other cars probably thought I was a psycho, all animated and gesticulating in a vehicle by myself. Or maybe they thought I was arguing with someone on a blue tooth phone. I don't really care. It's done.

I feel exhilarated and nervous. I should go run or bike I have so much damn energy right now. Thanks for reading.
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Old 06-07-2013, 12:53 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post

I repeated it a few more times. Then I gave my beast a lecture on what the word "never" means. Not that IT understands or cares, but it made ME feel better. People in other cars probably thought I was a psycho, all animated and gesticulating in a vehicle by myself. Or maybe they thought I was arguing with someone on a blue tooth phone. I don't really care. It's done.

I feel exhilarated and nervous. I should go run or bike I have so much damn energy right now. Thanks for reading.
Ha! You paint such a vivid picture here...

Good luck with your BP. I read RR a couple of years ago.
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Old 06-07-2013, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
... I just yelled it out. "No! I am never drinking again!" I paused for a few seconds, knowing what I started, and just decided to finish it. "And I am never changing my mind."

I repeated it a few more times. Then I gave my beast a lecture on what the word "never" means. Not that IT understands or cares, but it made ME feel better. People in other cars probably thought I was a psycho, all animated and gesticulating in a vehicle by myself. Or maybe they thought I was arguing with someone on a blue tooth phone. I don't really care. It's done.

I feel exhilarated and nervous. I should go run or bike I have so much damn energy right now. Thanks for reading.
Thanks for posting, and congratulations on your Big Plan.

The Beast (your habituated appetite to drink again) understands perfectly and cares very deeply what "never" means, and IT takes a WHOLE new posture with YOU when IT hears YOU say "NEVER". Try to hold your breath for 60 seconds and you will begin to feel what your BEAST feels when it hears "NEVER". Survival appetites will die without repetition. IT now knows You want to kill IT. And now that you've made the Big Plan, IT IS IN the process of dying.

This is partly why I thought you could take advantage of re-cognizing what was going on when you "just stopped caring", as IT so succinctly got you to phrase the lie.

You see, during that night of sleeping, you obtained no new information about how more right or more wrong drinking again would be. Nothing new had happened in your intelligent reasoning process that would have changed your deliberate decision to remain abstinent that felt ironclad the night before.

So, what is presented as a very benign "just stopped caring" was actually the outcome of an extremely desperate battle IT was waging against YOUR intelligence for IT's very existence, and YOU simply caved and gave IT a reprieve. IT is very happy YOU are not working dilligently on R'ing your AV.

Anything that even hints in a round about way that drinking is ok or not drinking is bad - that's IT.



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Old 06-07-2013, 02:11 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jkb View Post
Studying mindfulness in conjunction with AVRT has been beyond helpful. It helps me to keep in the now and not beat myself up for past mistakes. Soberlicious has far more experience with it then I... but, I am reading Reason the Moment and Recovery. At any rate. I think it is a great idea Non.

Sorry to disappoint some of you, but she's not having me locked up.

I am one of the people who is profoundly disappointed by this.....:rotfxko Jk..lol.
Yeah. I was kinda bummed too. I had visions of Non begging her "FOR THE LOVE OF BACON...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

We're so silly.
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Old 06-07-2013, 02:19 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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I could easily be lured into inpatient rehab with promises of unlimited bacon.
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Old 06-07-2013, 03:10 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
then wake up on day 31, 41, 51 and not care. Like I forgot.

You said it yourself ------> "and not care" <----------
Examine that.

Perhaps it's different for you but when I drank it was to FEEL GOOD NOW. It came from a very selfish and self centered part of me. I had to come to grips with that, and reexamine my values at that point in time.

In short, I had to learn to live life on very different terms, most particularly on days 31, 41 and 51.
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Old 06-07-2013, 03:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Received View Post
Yeah. I was kinda bummed too. I had visions of Non begging her "FOR THE LOVE OF BACON...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

We're so silly.
Yes... yes we are..

Sorry non, Hadn't hijacked one of your threads in a while. At any rate... I am so glad to read this.

I just yelled it out. "No! I am never drinking again!" I paused for a few seconds, knowing what I started, and just decided to finish it. "And I am never changing my mind."

Bad Ass

Very tired. Going home for the weekend. TGIF everyone.
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Old 06-07-2013, 05:48 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by nonsensical
I feel exhilarated and nervous. I should go run or bike I have so much damn energy right now. Thanks for reading.
ACE...that feeling you get from committing to abstinence never has to go away.
Thank you for sharing.
Xo
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Old 06-08-2013, 05:44 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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I found this article helpful for providing a brief overview on mindfulness.

Mindfulness Made Simple | Psychology Today
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Old 06-08-2013, 07:03 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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There is a whole pantload of great stuff on the web, with new and better information being made available constantly as mindfulness techniques become more accepted and popular.
Mindfulness and Relapse Prevention
Mindfulness and Urge Surfing
What is Mindfulness Therapy
How does Mindfulness-Based Alexander Technique (MBAT) help with recovery, relapse prevention, PTSD and other types of trauma? | Mindfulness-Based Alexander Technique
Mindful Living: A Proposed Relapse Prevention Project | The Tao of Recovery
Free Online Meditation Course | Learn meditation online!
Mindfulness - Meditation Audio Tracks
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Old 06-08-2013, 07:57 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by awuh1 View Post
You said it yourself ------> "and not care" <----------
Examine that.

Perhaps it's different for you but when I drank it was to FEEL GOOD NOW. It came from a very selfish and self centered part of me. I had to come to grips with that, and reexamine my values at that point in time.

In short, I had to learn to live life on very different terms, most particularly on days 31, 41 and 51.
awuh,
yes, me too.


it's one of those things that always goes through my mind when i see all the encouragement to "live in the now".

it's so double-edged.

of course we really only "have" now, yet the now so often leads to "decisions" that are based on the immediate feeling at any given time. the f**k-it response to any given moment fits right in there.
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Old 06-08-2013, 08:17 AM
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Great links fresh!

This from Thich Nhat Hanh: "According to the Buddha and according to our experience, anything embraced by the energy of mindfulness will undergo a transformation"

It is not the desire or craving itself that creates suffering, rather it is how we relate to that desire or craving that creates suffering. Desire itself is neutral...it is what it is...what we do when it visits determines the degree of suffering.
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Old 06-08-2013, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by soberlicious View Post
Great links fresh!
+1

I will give them a read before the weekend is up. Right now She-who-must-be-obeyed wants my mind (and backside) finishing her deck and pool room.
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Old 06-08-2013, 09:05 AM
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Non, you are extremely fortunate to have someone who wants your mind and your backside

Originally Posted by fini
of course we really only "have" now, yet the now so often leads to "decisions" that are based on the immediate feeling at any given time. the f**k-it response to any given moment fits right in there.
yes it's true...especially if that is how one has always related to desire. I grew up with ideas like "you only live once" and "if it feels good, do it" lol I come by my hedonism honestly. The f*ck it response was the only one I knew when it came to any grasping, not just my addiction to alcohol.. Buy the new shoes or pay the rent? F*ck it. Have that sexual encounter that is irresponsible? F*ck it. Break a promise, lie, drink, get high, be reckless with others' trust, take the easy way out always....

I even twisted "to thine own self be true" as a justification to satisfy my desires/cravings. That's why for me the absence of suffering cannot be my goal. It is the mindset that happiness equals never having any pain that is the big lie. F*ck it just one way of relating to desire and in and if itself is not wholly "bad" or "wrong"....when I'm at the door of the plane and fear keeps me from jumping...f*ck it comes in handy

Mindfulness teaches not reacting but observing...that can be super helpful for a knee jerker like myself.
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Old 06-08-2013, 09:58 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Ah yes, Nons. SWMBO aka The Resident Love Goddess. I think mine prefers the latter moniker.

Mindfulness for me means awareness and acceptance. I am not my thoughts, I am the watcher.
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Old 06-08-2013, 08:27 PM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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I grew up with ideas like "you only live once" and "if it feels good, do it" lol I come by my hedonism honestly

ah but how interesting to see how that ties in with your use of the f**k-it response.

i grew up with exactly the opposite messages: to go for the long-term right thing; if it feels good you're self-indulging which is badbadbad, your happiness and pleasure should be way wayway down on the list....getting drunk was exactly the perfect thing in answer to all of that! the perfect "up yours!" response.
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Old 06-09-2013, 09:50 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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I have not yet had an opportunity to look at the Life Ring or Mindfulness stuff. If you didn't see my other post, Mrs Non fell yesterday and broke her right foot multiple times. She is thus far only moving between recliner and bathroom because her left foot is also banged up and very painful to put weight on. She is definitely She-who-must-be-obeyed today. Keeping me very busy. It does give me an opportunity to give her some of my better, after being at my worse last weekend. Always a silver lining.
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Old 06-09-2013, 10:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
I have not yet had an opportunity to look at the Life Ring or Mindfulness stuff. If you didn't see my other post, Mrs Non fell yesterday and broke her right foot multiple times. She is thus far only moving between recliner and bathroom because her left foot is also banged up and very painful to put weight on. She is definitely She-who-must-be-obeyed today. Keeping me very busy. It does give me an opportunity to give her some of my better, after being at my worse last weekend. Always a silver lining.
Well, if she HAD any inclination to kick you out before, I bet she's glad she didn't NOW.

I wish her the best in a speedy recovery.
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Old 06-09-2013, 08:45 PM
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ah, you quit just in time to be of use without here being ABLE to kick you

i'm not much (well, not at all, really) into mindfulness (except that i am getting better at "being in the "is" " as i move along) but did pick up and read "mindful recovery" by T. and B. Biehn.
which i was stubbornly intent on finding not-useful, yet...well, flipping through it was weirdly interesting enough for me to buy it, and lo and behold, i liked it!



but i exaggerate my supposed disdain, of course. making fun of myself.

carry on.
sorry to hear of Ms.N's fall and broken bones.

carry her????

your life will be different for a while....
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