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Old 06-01-2013, 06:38 AM
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Relapse Prevention

this is a sample chapter from the LifeRing secular recovery workbook 'Recovery by Choice'

i found the whole book to be interesting and helpful in exploring my own attitudes and preconceived notions of whatever stripe; very useful when i started out.

http://lifering.org/wp-content/uploa...elapseCh11.pdf

edit: okay, so the link doesn't show properly on my screen now.
go to The LifeRing Home Page | Sobriety, Secularity, Self-Help, thenclick on "about us", go to "lifering readings", then Recovery by Choice and you can access the relapse prevention chapter as well as a couple of others.
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Old 06-01-2013, 10:07 AM
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It works, fini.

Hope you're doing well.
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Old 06-01-2013, 01:26 PM
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Thank-you fini.

Looks like some valuable information for me. I made a copy and plan to work on it this weekend.
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Old 06-01-2013, 07:17 PM
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thanks, Received.
yeah, it works...i've run into this before; the font+colour are the same as the rest of the post, so it doesn't show up here as a link unless i put my cursor on it.
i'm okay, thanks.
saturday is my tough day at work, and so i'm always suffering some aches and pains when i get home and looking forward to my two days off.

good weekend to you.
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Old 06-01-2013, 07:19 PM
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lovetosail,
the book is a steal at $20 (i think, but i got mine years ago; maybe it's gone up?)

and no, i don't work for them
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Old 06-02-2013, 02:36 PM
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Thanks for reminding of this...I'll have to do some reading, and try the forums out.

I looked for a local group, but the closet one is 200 miles away, in Connecticut

I really wish we had more options here, for face to face support. So often I find it hard to get that same kind of connection that I get face to face...and it seems like there is a lot more bickering/posturing on the internet, as it has been demonstrated that people do behave differently on it than in person.

I've thought of starting a group here, it's a big city.

Has anyone ever done this?

Any suggestions, tips, or pointers on starting one of an 'open' nature, like Lifering?
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Old 06-02-2013, 07:46 PM
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Husky, i started a LR meeting here in Vancouver BC a couple of years ago with a guy who convened the meeting i first went to when i quit drinking.
finding a place was a bit tough, as we had decided we didn't want anything resembling a medical/clinical setting or an unfriendly dark place.
we finally found a "Neighbourhood House"(don't know if you have those in your town; they're a bit like mini-community centres, for smaller neighbourhoods in a big city) which had a nice comfy multi-purpose room for $20 and then started advertising.
we had set out to take care of it for six months and then we'd pass it on to someone new, but no-one ever stepped up to take over. so, eventually it folded.
LifeRing does require 6 months of abstinence, and the person who convenes it to read the booklet "how was your week", which is the format that most LR meetings have. a general go-round with cross-talk about the challenges and successes of the previous week and what's coming up in the week ahead.
you can check out their website for all the info.

maybe you could find one or two other people in your town and someone with the requisite length of abstinence to get it started.
yes, they are supportive groups. no official dogma other than 3S meaning sobriety(equals abstinence from all non-medically indicated drugs), secularity, and self-help.

if you contact their official admin, they'll give you whatever info you need.
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Old 06-13-2013, 05:39 PM
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Hi Fini, Husky and all,

LifeRing also has a book "How Was Your Week", which is intended for people who host the meeting. It would be helpful even if your not though or if you are thinking about it. The formatting isn't the best because it was scanned as two pages per page, but you can download the whole thing.

http://liferingrecovery.org/wp-conte...eRing-2003.pdf

I host an online meeting for LifeRing, but I get how a lot of people might prefer the face to face contact. I'm also starting up a f2f meeting, but doing that as a SMART meeting. There are already SMART in neighboring towns, so I figured better for people already doing that, plus easier to have backup for vacation and if I'm out of town for work.

I thought SMART was same thing with some type of requirement on sobriety time, but it's not. They don't have any time requirement. I'm doing the training right now. I have most of it done actually, but they have some chat room meetings for finishing up and they are schedule a few weeks out still. It's $75 to take their training. You can refund yourself out of meeting donation, if you want though (assuming you start a meeting, get people to show up and collect some donations). I'm thinking a lot more people go through the training, then get one up and running. It's pretty good material to go through though. Probably wouldn't be bad even if you just took it for personal growth experience or whatever you want to call it. I was a bit on the fence, if I would actually do it or not or how much effort I would put in at least. I'm sure that isn't too uncommon.

I was a little concerned that it would be a little to I don't know the right word, but “pushy” or trying to push their agenda. I like most of there stuff OK, but am not in love with all of the ideas. I think they use way too many achronyms. I find the use of achronyms a bit annoying in general and they kind of pile them on. It wasn't to pushy though. They do have a lot of stuff people can use if they want, but they don't expect everyone too. They also mention several times that meetings aren't suppose to be places for teaching others all about SMART. Basically they figure people are reasonably intelligent and can learn the SMART tools on there own, if they want to. Meetings are for support. Recovery is learned by living and doing, not by having someone teach you something. I felt better on hearing that. It's pretty much how a meeting I was hosting would end up anyway, so I guess it's good I fit the expectation. Lol.

I can't offer much on starting a face to face, since I am just in the process of doing it. I did get lucky on finding a place. I only called three of for different places and a bit of back and forth e-mails, but got one within a couple weeks. I hadn't really even started the full blown process. I can say this, if you are going to do it. Just do it. I have tendency to think about doing something, say starting a web page. I read all up on it. Learn some software, play around a bit, plan it all out in my mind over and over, different ways, but maybe never get around to actually doing it. For finding a meeting site I just called the close place to my house, that had a meeting room. They didn't have any openings the could do for a non-profit, but suggested a couple other place, once they knew what I was looking for. One was the place ended up with. I would have eventually, made a list of target sites, gone to a couple AA meeting to see if I could find someone friendly enough to give me a contact for whoever let them have the room, etc. Instead of doing all that (and not actually getting started), I got started. I also started with the most likely places. Even if you end up having to make a lot of calls to get someone to say “yes”, why not start with the ones that are the best prospects?

Anyway good luck to you Husky, if you do go down that path. It's not a bad one, for me anyway. I really think it helps with my own sobriety too.

Take care, Todd
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Old 06-14-2013, 07:27 AM
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cool stuff, Todd!

Recovery is learned by living and doing,

so true.

one of the things that was hugely beneficial to me in looking for a suitable place to have the meeting was to decide to go to the places in person and tell them what the meetingand the organization was about (so we could maybe get the non-profit rate, or free), which of course implied that i am a member of that group.

was tough the first couple of times, but i got over it

this strange mix of a very persopnal thing in a rather non-personal, business-type conversation
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Old 06-15-2013, 11:42 PM
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hey fini, thanks for starting this thread) (and for your v helpful remarks on my trapdoor one).

I bought the LifeRing books quite some time ago, forget exactly when, what with sobriety time and relapse time and sobriety time ad nauseum :-), and I do recommend them.

It's a drag that stuff like LifeRing, SMART, etc are really the luck o' the draw, depending on where you live in the world. For example, where I am in Melbourne, Aus, there are NO LR meetings, and so few SMART meetings you'd imagine they never existed unless you really went looking. And then, not every one can make it across a sprawling city for a short meeting once a week. If you live outside the city, no hope whatsoever.

Anyway, I get where Husky's coming from....thanks to Todd too for his observations about the things we let obstruct us from just giving something a go! I'm a major sufferer (right word?) of that, the endless research and such...and the feeling, oh, it's too hard. (Todd, that's me talking, not you!)

One thing I have wondered about - to those of you who DID manage to start up something, even something very unstructured, easy going etc:

How do you find a few potential participants? I say this because I'm really new still in this part of this city; I know a few, a very few AA members and perhaps a couple of ex-rehab people (but haven't heard from them for more than a year). And the AA-ers are happy with that, and wary of anything else; the ex-rehabbers ...well, I don't know what they're doing or how they are.

I don't want to just put a public notices ad in the local paper (for example), because Goddess knows who might respond...you know what I mean. Crikey, one could have to sift through all manner of potentially dangerous people.

So, when some of you started a secular / general recovery f2f thing, did you already know even one or two / three bodies who might come along? i.e. apart from the organisational / venue etc part of it?

something of a conundrum, I find....
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Old 06-16-2013, 08:37 AM
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well, i knew the guy from my previous meeting. and being much as you describe (as far as doing lots of research and lots more and lots more of anything except just getting out there and ACTING on it), it was his push that made me get up and out.

after we found the place, his job was to make the flyer/poster, and i volunteered to do the distributing. i did it because i knew i didn't want to , knowing i'd "expose" myself, as in all the libraries and community centres i put it up, i first had to go to reception and get permission. sometimes i had to wait and see some director-type person, or administrator, and explain what the group was about, as they wanted info about what gets advertised on their boards. i also went to some health centres and posted.

M had put his cellphone # on the flyer, and there never were any crank calls. not once.
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Old 06-16-2013, 04:23 PM
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Thanks fini..... Gives me food for thought.

yeh, stuff like that (getting organised) requires courage, and then just doing it, then waiting to see what happens. I guess. :-)
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Old 06-17-2013, 09:02 AM
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yes, it took some courage.
but i had been sober for quite a while by then, so i could do the speaking with people with a bit more detachment.

it didn't really matter to me what some stranger might think when s/he looked at me and knew me to be an alcoholic.
i knew that i don't drink and that i'm doing something positive by working to get this meeting going.
this would have been very different early on in sobriety, and i couldn't have done it at all during the first few months. too vulnerable. left-over shame. not enough solid footing in sobriety yet.

if you can get hold of the ex-rehab people, maybe one of them will be sober and interested in starting something like that?here in Vancouver we actually have a LR meeting right inside a treatment centre.
as far as LR is concerned, a minimum of 6 months abstinence is required to convene a meeting.
don't know about SMART requirements.

Melbourne is a big city, so there is a good chance that there are others who are interested in what you're looking for.
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