Blogs


Notices

AVRT to cope with emotional binge eating

Old 05-29-2013, 10:11 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
Sober since October
Thread Starter
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Hi, all.

A quick check-in from me.

I had a long and quite tough session with my therapist today. I needed it to go through these family issues. Then my head was just splitting. Surely the beast was whining.

I've noticed that since I took on this challenge, I started to "read" better signals that my body sends me. And I can tell what my body tells from AV's rants. Instead of just following my usual patterns dictated by AV or just habits, I take a minute to feel and understand what is that I really need and want right now.

And I'm learning something new every day, I should say.

Though AV wanted its usual comforting food, my body "signalled" that it was dehydrated, so on my way back home just bought some water instead of sweets.

Long story short, I'm fine by far. My head is still splitting so I'll call it a night.

Jeni, hope your intro workout at the gym was fine)
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (05-29-2013), Neagrm (05-29-2013)
Old 05-29-2013, 10:22 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
Well done at reading those signals!x

I had a good time at the gym, going back tomorrow for round 2 of my induction. My legs are aching, my heart is thumping and I'm out of breath....and the beast, who this morning told me I was at risk of drinking again and feeling suicidal (pathetic!), is silent.

I've eaten fresh food and drunk water all day and I'm doing just fine, more than fine actually...
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
MidnightBlue (05-29-2013), Neagrm (05-29-2013)
Old 05-29-2013, 11:12 PM
  # 83 (permalink)  
Sober since October
Thread Starter
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Originally Posted by Jeni26 View Post
I've eaten fresh food and drunk water all day and I'm doing just fine, more than fine actually...
Hi, Jeni!

You are doing just fine, more than just fine, actually!

Your progress is fabulous - you are moving so fast, real inspiration to me. So lucky to be your badass pal here)

Glad you liked it in the gym. AV is damned scared of gym and workouts. Exercising gives a natural boost of endorphines and just great for health overall.

Keep it up)

See you later.
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (05-29-2013)
Old 05-29-2013, 11:44 PM
  # 84 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
Morning my badass pal...

Yeah, I feel the progress! I think the beast really pushed its luck yesterday with the 'hey what do you think you're doing, your life will unravel' routine! No way am I gonna let that happen.

I think I've really reached a point in my life when everything is coming together. The therapy, the new healthy lifestyle, the taking control back...all good. There are certain life experiences I've had which have left me feeling kind of hopeless and helpless about things. That has been a hard habit to break, but I'm getting there.

I have to say, the cravings for cigarettes have lessened now...I hear the beast whining, but it is more of a chatter now. It doesn't like the gym or the healthy eating, that's for sure. Big kick offs about chocolate!!!! It really is more like a spoiled brat than a scary monster at the moment. And I'm a teacher....I know how to deal with a child who's acting out! Ha!

How are you doing my badass pal?x
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
MidnightBlue (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 05:00 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
Sober since October
Thread Starter
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Hi, Jeni.

I'm ok, thanks) My beast is also just whining once in a while but I turn it down.

I'm in some blue mood today so my AV saw some hope for itself - but, no way. I re-red my posts and remembered myself about commitments.

There's so much more behind this AV - all this negativity toward myself, all this BS talk, all this self-deprecation. Addiction just hid and covered all this, now when I see it all unveiled I got a chance to get to know my real me. Authentic badass Midnight.

Have a great day, Jeni. See you later)
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 05:23 AM
  # 86 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
Hey, you know I'm new to all this, so I hope I'm not saying anything that isn't right...but this is the way I see it...

You have made your Big Plan, your commitment to never binge eating again. I did the same with smoking and eating junk. That has been done and cannot be undone, no matter what. And WE don't want it undone anyway do we? Those addictions made us unhappy and unhealthy. We DESERVE better ok?

Now, we are going to run into situations which make us doubt ourselves, things that make us scared and anxious. We've both got stuff going on with our families, big things that are unsettling us because we don't know how they're going to turn out. So they are making us feel a little out of control. Fear is our beasts friend. It will use it to get what it wants, but we know better don't we?

We're badasses you and me. We can cope. We don't need or want to go back to those things that make us feel worse...why would we? It doesn't make sense...not to us anyway. But it does to our beasts....


Hang in there, you're awesome xx
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
MidnightBlue (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 05:29 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
P.S and I'm just discovering the real authentic me too...what a journey!x
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
MidnightBlue (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 12:31 PM
  # 88 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
I've been to the gym AND a swim today. I had a really bad craving for a cigarette earlier so I thought I'd sort that one out badass style!!

How are you doing?x
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
MidnightBlue (05-30-2013), MythOfSisyphus (05-30-2013), Neagrm (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 12:40 PM
  # 89 (permalink)  
Member
 
bloss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Blog Entries: 191
Hanging in there today, last night again, I ate so much. Basically, all day I'm fine, then at night it's like I'm a zombie, ate nearly a loaf sugary, cinnamon bread. Now today, I feel like I have a hangover, but from food. I always used to drink at night, then I would substitute food when I wanted to quit. I don't want to do this to myself anymore. I am sober from alcohol, hurray. But, this food addiction is robbing me of serenity. Sorry to go on, just irritated and I'll keep reading here.
bloss is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to bloss For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (05-30-2013), lilyjane (09-29-2013), MidnightBlue (05-30-2013), Neagrm (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 12:47 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
Hi Bloss. I didn't know you were reading along. MidnightBlue is inspirational isn't she? Have you thought about using AVRT to help?x

Nothing has worked with my smoking before now and I've never felt as confident that I've cracked it for good x
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 01:00 PM
  # 91 (permalink)  
Member
 
bloss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Blog Entries: 191
Jeni: yes I really like all M.B.'s posts and yours too!

I have used AV for my urges to drink, the eating is a bit more subtle...I am going to try. I have never really allowed myself to enjoy food, either I eat too much or too little. My grandmother was always on to me as a child about weight loss and body image. I developed some not so good ideas about eating, weight and so on. At my age, I know it is important to eat well, still I struggle.
bloss is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to bloss For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (05-30-2013), MidnightBlue (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 01:03 PM
  # 92 (permalink)  
Sober since October
Thread Starter
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Hi, all)

Jeni, what a great post. It really kicked my spirit. Thank you)

"That has been done and cannot be undone, no matter what." - Exactly!


Bridges are burnt. There's no way back to this.

You know, I am not new to healthy eating and nutrition control. I've been keeping my food diary for about 5 years by far. But I've never been so confident. This is just so much more than just coping with binge eating - it's like re-discovering myself.

Though my mood hasn't been great today, my beast was silent. It made a couple of shy suggestions, but that's it.

I know it's tricky and mean, so I am always on guard.

I had just a fabulous workout today and felt so much better after it. Real badass.

As for my other problems - I've decided to focus on one hour at a time and prevent this issue spoiling things I love. My day is built of many pieces, so I can focus on this piece when it just comes into my day.

Jeni - I'm saying again - you are doing more than great fighting AV with workouts.

I think we are doing fine with out badass style))

Originally Posted by bloss View Post
Basically, all day I'm fine, then at night it's like I'm a zombie, ate nearly a loaf sugary, cinnamon bread. Now today, I feel like I have a hangover, but from food. I always used to drink at night, then I would substitute food when I wanted to quit. I don't want to do this to myself anymore. I am sober from alcohol, hurray. But, this food addiction is robbing me of serenity. Sorry to go on, just irritated and I'll keep reading here.
Bloss - so glad to see you here! Welcome to our badass gang!

Hangover from food - that's exactly how I felt after my eating binges. As if I replaced wine with food.

Hang in with us and go on as much as you need. I'll be more than happy if it helps you to cope with this. Keep posting!

Time for me to go to bed.

See you all tomorrow)
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 01:11 PM
  # 93 (permalink)  
Member
 
bloss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Blog Entries: 191
Thanks, maybe putting it out, will help with the urges. Trying to drink more water, I think sometimes I'm just too dehydrated.
bloss is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to bloss For This Useful Post:
Jeni26 (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 08:55 PM
  # 94 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
Ugh...it's 4.50 am and I've been awake since 2 am. Insomnia is the one downside of sobriety...

My beast is having a field day...'you never had trouble sleeping when you were drinking did you???...all that exercise the past few days, what was the point? You will never be able to sleep properly again....this frustration you feel? Well this is you for the rest of your life....you know what you need???? A cigarette. That will make everything better....'

Leave me alone!!!!
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-31-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 10:28 PM
  # 95 (permalink)  
Sober since October
Thread Starter
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Originally Posted by Jeni26 View Post
.'you never had trouble sleeping when you were drinking did you???...all that exercise the past few days, what was the point? You will never be able to sleep properly again....this frustration you feel? Well this is you for the rest of your life....you know what you need???? A cigarette. That will make everything better....'
Hi, Jeni.

Sorry about insomnia - I know too well what a b***h it is.

Our beast grabs every opportunity to get to us and pushes its ridiculous "logic".

Remember, discussing it with a beast is like discussing it to a horse - it doesn't need your explanations and reasoning, it needs strict training and a whip to keep it in line.

Sigarette or drinking will never make anything better.

"This is for the rest of your life" - Really? Who do you think you are, pathetic idiot? Nostradamus? No, you are just ridiculous beast which is hell scared of dying!.

Just 15 minutes of exercising a day does great for health, longevity, mood. And this is a fact. And a fact that after exercising AV is extremely weak. And like a hardcore conman it tries everything to make you "buy" this BS stories you don't need it.

And the fact is exercising does help to beat insomnia.

I hope your sleeping will be fine soon, badass pal.

Have a great day)
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-31-2013), Jeni26 (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 11:18 PM
  # 96 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
Great post, thanks. When someone else says it, it looks so glaringly obvious doesn't it?

Loved the bit about not being Nostradamus....

Yeah I don't sleep well, it's just a fact. It might get better in time, it might not..but damned if I don't know FOR SURE that a cigarette won't help!!

Have a good day yourself my badass pal xx
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-31-2013), MidnightBlue (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 11:33 PM
  # 97 (permalink)  
Sober since October
Thread Starter
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Originally Posted by Jeni26 View Post
It might get better in time, it might not.
It will get better! There is just no reason for the opposite. Once we stop listening to AV's crazy rants and take actions - it's getting better.

You know, it's like, say fixing a car. You can listen to AV saying: "Oh, there's something wrong with the engine? Let's have a sigarette/drink/junk food, and it will, by some pure f**** magic will fix itself? - Sounds crazy, doesn't it?

Oh you can bring a car to a repair shop, check it, fix what is needed, and it will be good to go again.

Surely, we, humans, are more complicated than cars, but for me logic is still the same - look deep into the problem, take actions - use meditation/relaxation/exercising/cut computer time before bed/consult a Doc/ etc - and it will get better.

See you later)
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-31-2013), Jeni26 (05-30-2013)
Old 05-30-2013, 11:46 PM
  # 98 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 7,978
You are awesome. Truly awesome. Xx
Jeni26 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Jeni26 For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-31-2013), MidnightBlue (05-31-2013)
Old 05-31-2013, 10:12 AM
  # 99 (permalink)  
Sober since October
Thread Starter
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
Ok, my beast kind of silent with binge eating but it tries different approaches.

It's just a beast but somehow it knows all my sore points and knows how to get to me.

Maybe, I'm just wiped out emotionally these days.

Anyway, I am making progress. And progress is always vs. perfection.

Perfectionism - another sidekick of my AV "Why to bother to do anything if you can't do it perfect and get everyone's approval? Let's better indulge ourselves in something and forget about your stupid pipe dreams" - Really? What is perfect, idiot?

More doing less thinking. I have to limit my thinking and overthinking. Thinking is not bad but... But too much thinking leads to procrastination and here comes AV.

I had a good swimming workout today. How's your day, badass pal?))

Have a great AV-free weekend.
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-31-2013), Jeni26 (05-31-2013)
Old 05-31-2013, 10:28 AM
  # 100 (permalink)  
Sober since October
Thread Starter
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,311
Blog Entries: 42
P.S . I noticed that I am going through the same stage with my binge eating as I was going with wine: when my body doesn't want it, but my mind generates just tantalizing visions of pastry, ice-cream, or cakes and how great it would be to have a full plate of all this and just enjoy and enjoy watching some good movie. While my stomach is quite surprised: 'Really? You know I actually have no room for this stuff. Doesn't seem a good idea to me".

I have to learn how unplug my imagination from this BS and switch it to more productive things.
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
bloss (05-31-2013), Jeni26 (05-31-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:27 AM.