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BBQ tomorrow at friends

Old 05-11-2013, 07:59 AM
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BBQ tomorrow at friends

I live in a rural community and tomorrow is a BBQ at neighbours. There is always lots of booze flowing.

My husband knows that I am not drinking (as per doctor's orders). I am confident I won't drink either.

I know the hostess will be wondering why I am not drinking. My reasons - I am having bloodwork done on Monday, plus my doctor is very worried about my BP (and so am I). I don't want to screw up and I have made a pact with myself that I will not drink for at least 30 days. I know that my AV is quite happy about that.

Anyway - it will only be 1 week sober for me. Any suggestions on coping tools?

Oh - last night I was watching various youtube videos about getting sober. One was a man who told himself that he would quit for 1 year and if after that 1 year he still wanted to drink, then he would. His reasoning was that as addicts we are all under an alcoholic cloud and it takes months for that to dissipate and to finally know what it is like to live sober. I thought that was an interesting perspective. He ended up knowing that he would be sober forever by the 8th month mark.

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Old 05-11-2013, 08:22 AM
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You are going to be fine.

When I went to events sober I was actually surprised how little people did drink. No-one drank like me.

I should also imagine when there are a few drunks about you will be relieved you stopped. I n my experience its not pleasant trying to converse with drunk. sloppy, repetitive people.

Good luck
x
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Sasha4 View Post
When I went to events sober I was actually surprised how little people did drink. No-one drank like me.

x
Thanks Sasha.

You know, that is so true. When I drink I am very conscience of how much is left and very jealous if I think someone is taking what I think is "my share". I recall always finishing the heel of the bottle or looking around for more heels.

I was always amazed that someone could not finish their glass of wine. Or that someone could actually put a cork back in a bottle (you mean corks can go back in?) Someone nursing a drink - absolutely a foreign concept to me.

There were only a few occasions when I had restraint. I cannot moderate. I find no pleasure in just one - in fact, to me that is torture. Just one? Who does that? I am an all of nothing gal.

I had to quit facebook because of too many drunk postings, plus, I found that social setting very triggering and a huge time suck.

Thanks guys for all the help.
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Old 05-11-2013, 09:37 AM
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stash a bottle of coke or tonic water somewhere and keep your glass 3/4 full so you can say you're good if someone offers a refill, pick / take a odd coloured straw or mixer / swizzle stick with you and keep it in the glass so you know which one's yours. Keep ice in it too, most people assume a glass with ice and a swizzle stick will have something else in it too so you don't stick out as bad as you would with a bright orange glass of juice all afternoon!

good luck
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Old 05-11-2013, 11:47 PM
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Hi there, had the same thing recently - my cousin still want me to drink get drunk with him, I will simply say I am okay for now I had a drink just now, he always asks again and I say sure I will have the same as you and just leave it where he puts it for me and go back to my coke or juice or nothing, he soon forgets this wish to get me as drunk as he is and drinks it up himself :-)
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Old 05-12-2013, 01:34 AM
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Let us know how it went won't you?
Good luck.
Remember sobriety rocks!
xx
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Old 05-12-2013, 08:35 AM
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things that helped me: bring something you LIKE to drink, to be sure it's available. have a glass in your hand already, at all times, with something in it.
prearrange with your hubby that you'll leave if things get dicey for you, and have a means to do that.
have a means to get out without your hubby if he's not to be counted on to leave with you if you feel you need to.
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Old 05-12-2013, 08:40 AM
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Morning all:

I will let you all know how it goes (thanks for asking). We're all supposed to bring a dish, so I'm bringing Wild Rice.

Today is one week. Would be a darn shame to screw that up just for a bbq.

As well, of all the people who will be attending, I was the only Professional Drinker. This time, I will be the DD and hubby can relax and have a couple of beers.

Thanks Black and white for the suggestion of just leaving a drink on a counter if someone gets too pushy.

I may have to make a run into town to get some San Pelligrino or bubbly spring water since I don't drink pop. Not sure if they will have a carbonated water available.
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Old 05-12-2013, 09:01 PM
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I did it!

BAck from the BBQ and didn't touch a drop. It was noticed. But, I just told them the truth - I am having health issues and right now I am focusing on getting better and that means I am not drinking. No one tried to push a drink on me.

How wonderful it will be to wake up tomorrow sans hangover!
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Old 05-13-2013, 08:40 AM
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Well done.

If I may suggest something, don't make a habit of testing yourself in these early days of recovery. Part of getting sober is staying away from old haunts, old habits. At least in the beginning. There are more than enough posts here on SR that illustrate how quickly things shift from "I wasn't tempted at all," to "Before I knew it, I was drinking..." when people insist on putting themselves in range of alcohol.

Continued success.
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Old 05-13-2013, 12:12 PM
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I hear you, Carl. The next temptation of Genie will be in June (family coming). Start my new job tomorrow - so that should keep me well occupied during the day. And I checked my BP today at the drugstore and while it is still high, at least it is down 20 points on top and 10 on bottom. That gives me incentive.

I felt so good this morning. I had my bloodwork done (fasting) and then did some errands. After getting the good news that my BP is coming down, I was headed back home and had a 70s station on and just was rocking on down the highway. The sun is out, it's a nice warm day and life just felt good. I love days like that.

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Old 05-13-2013, 12:16 PM
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Great job Genie!
Isn't it nice to wake up hangover free and be able to do what you have to do without being in agony?

Have a great sober week
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Old 05-13-2013, 10:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Genie View Post
it is down 20 points on top and 10 on bottom
That is a huge change! In what, like a week? Congratulations -- you have some very concrete proof of your progress!
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Old 05-14-2013, 06:48 AM
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Thanks Deckard. Last Thurs. when my doc took it first time it was 160/100 and then he told me to lie down for 10 min. and came back and it was 165/105. Crap. It went up.

Yesterday, using a drugstore machine, it was 144/90. Still high, but better.

I am starting my new job today and will have access to drugstore cuffs all day, so I'm going to check it periodically for the next 3 days and see. My next dr. appointment is on Friday. It's just that I do get nervous when I see him and that doesn't help my BP. But at least if I can have the other readings to tell him about it (hopefully good news).

When I quit smoking, my biggest motivation was seeing this guy (who would probably be my age now) walking along pulling an oxygen tank. I was in my 30s then and I thought - "no way I want to be in my 50s pulling around a tank". Who knows whether this guys problem was smoking, but it doesn't matter.

So, I am trying to use that same line of thinking..."no way do I want to be a stroke victim" - or whatever other horrible diseases accompany alcohol abuse. I think I have at least 30 "good" years left and I have so much to do.

Well, I'd better get into the shower and get myself ready for my new job!!!! woo hooo

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Old 05-14-2013, 12:55 PM
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Genie...
I love your happy post. Good luck on your new job and congrats on keeping your beast caged................ Jess
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