DaveyT

Thanks Received that means a great deal to me. This is the longest I have been sober for years and I'm feeling the very real benefits of it. Don't get me wrong I know there may be relapses in the future, I don't want to be a negative person I am simply realistic but the great thing as I have said before is that I know I have the ability to stay sober if I screw up.

I must admit I'm a little worried about the future as the pain will only increase, and that's not nice for anyone to contemplate, but hey you never know, maybe a cure will come along. All I have to do is stay sober and live long enough to see it happen. And that will only occur if I stay on the sober path

DaveyT

I've let you down guys.

Tonight I had a drink. My pain was so horrible I just gave up. I was with friends and they know how much I hurt so I let them buy me drinks. I'm sorry guys you have helped so much and here I am failing despite your help. My friends don't get how much pain I'm in or the addiction I have, it's not their fault.

I will be sober tomorrow, but I'm deeply scared how mch pain I will be in. I had a nice night with friends, I got to see their world for once, an adult world, a sophisticated world. Tomorrow I will pay the price. My illness simply does not like these actions.

I had to admit this, I just had to. I fear tomorrow. Alcohol makes the pain so much worse.

freshstart57

Please come back tomorrow DaveyT and post some more, maybe a new start with a new thread? We will still be here for you.

Best to you.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, Davey.

You haven't let anyone down but yourself. I don't know what it's like to have a medical condition such as yours. I do know that my addiction often managed to masquerade as the cure for life's hardships. It's one of the many ways it tricked me into thinking I needed to drink. Now I look back, and I see that the things alcohol promised to make better it actually made worse.

It's good you came back here. I think freshstart is right, and you should launch a new thread tomorrow. Day 1 is amazing when you think about it. You go to bed one night with something to regret, and 24 hours later, you go to bed with a reason to be proud. I've found that sense of pride to be enormously comforting in hard times, far more so than anything that comes in a bottle. I hope tomorrow's not too bad; hang in there either way.

Received

Hey Davey. I had a crazy busy weekend but I was able to check in here briefly and saw your post.

Like Fresh posted, we're here for you and I think a new thread is a great idea.

Hang in there buddy and for goodness sake don't disappear on us.

ChooseSobriety

But I sit here now feeling terrible that I am drinking again, I know why I did it, just pure physical pain but it doesn't help the guilty feeling.

Hello Davey,

I agree with Dee! We have medical doctors for a reason. Do I drink or not? It's that simple! I drank for many reasons but mostly because I did not know what do with things, i.e., thoughts, anger, happiness, sadness, etc.

I have a few new tools now and it still remains my choice as to whether I use them or not. I know that I can not drink alcohol, period!!

It's my choice!!

Hang in there Davey :-)