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Reading RR and am enlightened

Old 04-20-2013, 08:17 PM
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Talking Reading RR and am enlightened

Hey all.

First off, want to say thank you to SR and all of you for your posts. I have found this place immensely helpful in my journey to seek complete sobriety.

I finally read Rational Recovery and it has opened my eyes to many things, but wanted to share two things with those of you who are practicing AVRT to stay sober.

1. As I was reading about the beast, I had a flash of a memory of the first time I really drank. I didn't drink until college. In fact, I used to think beer was disgusting and couldn't understand why my dad drank it. My mom used to say, "it's an acquired taste." So as I was reading about the beast, I saw myself at a frat party that all of my friend's went to and drinking a Natty Light and saying "this tastes terrible!" (Granted it was NL, not exactly the champagne of beers). Then this voice said "It's okay. It's an acquired taste. You'll learn to enjoy it."

OMG. That was the first time my AV appeared. My beast was already trying to convince me to drink, even before I got started.

2. My beast only has one goal in life: to get the pleasure/high from drinking. As I continued to read I found myself picturing my beast as Towlie, a character from the TV show South Park. For those not familiar with SP, Towlie is a talking towel who only wants to get high from marijuana. He goes around town saying "want to get high?" and is thought of by the boys of SP as sad and pathetic. They often say, "you suck Towlie." And, "you're the worst character ever Towlie."

Towlie is a very sad, pathetic, stupid being that just wants to get high. Envisioning my beast that way makes any AV thoughts ridiculously proposterous. Poor Towlie. Too bad for him. I've made my BP and I'm sticking with it. No sad little towel is going to entice me to change my mind.

Anyone else envision their beasts in a similar way?

Appreciate all of your posts. Hope it was okay to post this here, still not 100% sure of the rules on the Secular Forums.

Thanks for reading.
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Old 04-20-2013, 09:05 PM
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You're aces with me, Kid. Great post, hope to read many more from you.
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Old 04-20-2013, 09:55 PM
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Thanks freshstart! I've read many of your posts and have found them helpful so thank you!

Knowing that I have the power and the tools to defeat the beast is amazing. The future really IS so bright I gotta wear shades.
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Old 04-20-2013, 10:28 PM
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You are welcome, Kat. So much of the information around alcoholism is negative, designed I think to convince us that a miracle is necessary. It was a spiritual awakening when someone told me that I had the power to quit, and that this power was already inside me. If you believe you have it, you do. Amazing.

So great for you, all I can say is congratulations to you on your fine self.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:32 AM
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Hi, SoberKat.

I went 13 years without drinking. 8 of those years spent in a recovery program which I was introduced to in rehab. I had no idea there was any other way. All I knew is I did not want to drink anymore, ever, so I resigned myself to believing I was powerless, insane and had to turn my will and life over to God. I also came to believe I could only stop "one day at a time".

None of that set right with me but there was a fear instilled in me if I didn't do what they said I would surely drink again. And so, after 8 years in this recovery program and 8 years feeling like I had escaped but was running from the law, I drank again and it went on for 5 more years until...

I found SR, signed up, and made my first post. It was within that thread I learned about Rational Recovery/AVRT. I read everything I could about it here and at the RR website. It was almost unbelievable to me. I was somewhere between elated and angry. Elated that finally the truth was right there in front of me and angry it took so many years to realize this simple truth, technique was out there.

I stopped drinking the night I joined here. Made my BP the next day and am now permanently abstinent. Within the next two weeks I also found a therapist who is RR friendly who I talk to about stuff in my life. We don't talk about drinking because I don't drink, ever.

So glad you've found RR too.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:49 AM
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Well, hiiiideee-ho Kat!

Glad you've found something that makes you encouraged and that's working for you. That's all that matters. Dance with the one that brung ya, I say. I'm happy you have an open mind about recovery and are exploring all the options -- not just the one that's presented as the "only option" to most of us about entering recovery. Cheers to you!
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:58 AM
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Correction

And so, after 8 years in this recovery program and 5 years feeling like I had escaped but was running from the law, I drank again and it went on for 5 more years until...)

(I need to quit talking on the phone while posting!)
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Old 04-21-2013, 08:43 AM
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SoberKat...OMG towlie...so funny! Towlie is pathetic and predictable, just like the beast. No idea that originates with the beast and is put out there through the AV is a surprise because it has but one single solitary agenda.

Yes, the truth is that I can do this. I can decide that I will not ever drink again. So glad that you see that you can too.

xo
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