Met with a new therapist today
 

The appointment went well today; I think she's going to be a good match. Quite a leisurely appointment, and she is certainly a quirky, artistic sort. The idea is to get on beyond the 'planning' stage, and into the 'doing' stage, or so we decided was one goal. I'm amazed she studied with Erik Berne...I've always found Transactional Analysis and Gestalt therapy not only interesting, but very useful, so I was happy I took the time to do as much research as I did, and made as many calls. I have some 'tests' to fill out, regarding how I view my 'child' state, my degree of intro and extro version, which I always love doing. I'm going back next week, and in a few weeks, may attend a small group session, devoted to sex and relationships. But my gut level feeling is that this is a good match.

Went to bed early last night...no desire to drink, too sleepy, and today, no real desire, also too sleepy! But now I feel as if I have some things to motivate me to do and find enjoyment in, aside from drinking.

I decided to start a new thread, as I don't want my main one to be called 'sad', as I don't plan to be sad all the time!

This is good news. I have had some luck with therapy. Also glad to read about the SOS and SMART meetings. It sounds like you are doing the right thing. Keep it up.

I'm so happy for you, pup. I started with a therapist shortly after making my BP. I interviewed several before I found this one and I couldn't be more happy with my choice.

Pup, sounds like you got it going right.

This is great news, Husky. This sounds very positive to me too. Good for you.

Therapy can be great if you are willing to be honest, you should get a lot out of it.

Well, it seems to be helping. I filled out a number of exercises, and did some readings she'd given me.

I also managed to go to a local coffee shop, and turn out three new poems, all of which I felt were pretty strong, even in early drafts. I have not had such a burst of creative energy in some time. The coffee shop is a good place to go to write free of the distraction of the computer at home; I tend to write 99% of my early drafts longhand, then go to Word. But it hasn't proved to be a very social setting...sadly, like so many coffee shops, it's mainly a sea of laptops and tablets. Out of maybe 20 people, I think I was the only one with pen and paper, or a book, and there wasn't much conversation. I did ask the person working about setting up events, as in a poetry night, and she seemed enthusiastic, and passed along the name of the owners. It's a very cozy place, just a few blocks away.

So then I called my folks, as I had an aunt who just killed herself, and now, her husband is very ill, as in not much time to go, my dad's only brother. Talked a few hours.

And then, I felt this enormous need to share what I had written, and talked about with somebody, and ended up going to that familiar tavern...and I tried not to drink, and had some very engaging conversations about those peoms, music, art, literature...though I did break down and have a few beers, not enough to get drunk, but a bit tipsy, and I felt a bit guilty about it all.

But it seemed to tell me something: I need a social outlet that has some physical constancy about it, where I can have such conversations, or it seems I start to go crazy. And it's hard to go there, and not drink, but yet it;'s a kind of hub of culture/counter-culture, and it's SO hard not to go, and just not drink.

So maybe if I form a poetry group, it will help...I've looked on meet-up, but I have not seen much near me...which seems weird, living in the 'arts district'.

Anyway, I am doing better. Not perfect, but better; didn't drink on all the other days, and feel a lot more clear-headed.

Nothing much new to report. Typed up my three new poems.

Still no luck on real-life support groups for not drinking, the all happen when I work, or are on days when my partner has the car for work...we share a car, and are too far to get to.

Kinda sucks, as I'm a very hands on, social person, maybe I can start something.

Husky - rock on with those poems. This current society needs poems (even thought it thinks it doesn't) .

Urg, stumbled again...I see my therapist Saturday, which I'm looking forward to.

The good thing about the stuble is that I ran across a friend who walks dogs for a living...I always knew he did, but now, he has his own business, and it looks like I'll be able to pick up a few hours here and there. I REALLY need to be making more money. Drinking is a cheap thrill, but I'd like to develop more hobbies, and they take money...so by making more, and not drinking, I hope to get closer. Sometimes I feel like I make so little now, it doesn't matter...I'm broke, drinking or not, just to varying degrees.

So I hope the dog-walking works out. Plus, they don't talk back, like people :)

Hang in there, Husky. Hope the dog walking works out for you. Sounds like that could be fun.

Take care, Todd

Husky, dog-walking...what a nice correlation :-)

Good on you Husky. Yeh, know what you mean about broke, drinking or not! And yes, you're quite right: when people talk about taking up hobbies, well, even gardening / painting / drawing etc costs money. Dammit :-)

Anyway, I look forward to being regaled by some of your dog-walking descriptions and stories. The best parts of my days are when I'm with my dog (blue heeler- border collie) at the dog park, down at the beach, or at the other parks around the area. Oh, and when I'm playing hard-core with her just at home inside with her toys.

PS I had a Malamute, many years ago, and have met a few Mals and Huskies at our various haunts. Brilliant dogs.