Feeling Low Today...
 

Just feeling in a "blah" kind of mood today. Really lonely, don't have friends to call. All of my "friends" are just drinking buddies. I've isolated myself over the years because of my addiction, haven't gone out into the world and found any healthy friendships.
I feel really awkward hanging out with people being sober, for years drinking and drug use has given me a false sense of self confidence, and without that I feel uncomfortable in social situations. I hope that its something I can improve on....
On the bright side, despite my mood I haven't felt like drinking or using today. Once briefly my AV popped into my head, and I shut it up. I'm angry at my AV, for creating a lonely, isolated life in which I find myself...

I've had a kind of blah day myself. Actually I don't know if it's the blahs as much as it is indifference. The racing thoughts have slowed down, my AV is keeping his useless puny mouth shut, so maybe I'm just kind of weirded out by not being weirded out.

I guess I could feel lonely if I wanted to but I've found generally when I start think like that, it's my AV rearing it's ugly self trying to make it think it's me.

Did that even make any sense?

Hey zoey,I have also been down in the dumps the last few days,don't know whats wrong and I just cant shake this bad mood off....Hopefully it'll pass in the next few days....Just hang in there...

Hey Zoey, I know just what you mean. Early into my recovery I was basically going through the same experience. I had to pass the time with reading, and going to the movies with my only clean friend (my mother). Eventually I started to go to meetings and met people who doing the same things I was. Made some friends and still had fun, despite the fact that I live in New Orleans and there's not much for a sober guy to do. Identify a hobby and emerse yourself in it... A creative outlet is preferred. If your in school join a club. The transition to sobriety is the hardest things anyone has to face and basically what caused me to muster the bravado to talk to strangers was going to meetings. If youre too shy to speek in a meeting I recommend taking notes. Rationalize your thoughts and if you have a question you find even remotely relevant, share it. Sorry about the typos I'm responding from my ****** phone and I'm having a hard time editing.

Thanks guys. Received, yep that makes perfect sense. Lol @alexb89 about the typos, **** I hate typing on the phone, typos galore. Just talked with my mom on the phone (also my only clean friend), uplifted me.

Right on. I'm happy to hear. I wouldn't be where I was without the help of my family. By the way what does AV stand for? I looked at the list of Acronyms for New Comers and didn't see it.

Addictive Voice. If you google Rational Recovery AVRT it explains it. There are also multiple threads on this forum about it. I will bump two for you.

AV = Addictive Voice. Addictive Voice Recognition Technique is a non twelve-step tool I've found that really makes sense to me. You can check out rational.org or search AVRT on this site for more info

Looks like Received beat me to it ; )

I WON! I BEAT YOU!!!! You explained it better but I still WON!!! lol

:a122:

I know what you mean about "friends." I've got lots of 'em.

I realize now that what alcohol and drugs did for me was make boring situations interesting and insufferable people tolerable. I, like you, feel a bit socially and emotionally stunted because of it. I'm having some growing pains, but this really is an exciting time in our lives. We get to define who we are on our own terms.

So, get out there and follow your excitement and make some real friends. If you'd like a new addiction, I suggest a knitting group. ;)

Alex - props to you for staying sober in new orleans. Most insane place I have ever been. I enjoyed your advice about bringing notes to a meeting. I am really nervous when speaking and my thoughts get jumbled with everyones eyes on me.

Thanks @zoey09 and @Received if this were a lesser blog I probably would've been chastised for being a 'n00b'. Haha yeah the AV. I've always called my AV the dark passenger based on the show 'Dexter'. He's a dick but I learned how to keep him at bay.

@SoberKnitter I completely agree with our first couple of months being the point I'm which we define life on our own terms. I'm approaching month number three and i couldn't be more eager. Although there are sometimes overtones of fear which really affects my ability to move forward. I'm sure its because I'm thinking to far ahead as oppose to living in the now. Something I thought I had under control but lost focus of recently.

@janiebluebird- Thanks for the props! I've never gotten props based on living in New Orleans and being sober. Really appreciate it. Not easy in the least. They call this place The Big Easy but is more like the Big not so easy to stay clean (I enjoy being corny). Oh man, I have pages of notes. It really helped me get the most out of meetings.

Glad my advice could help