In an emotional dip.
 

I was feeling pretty good today, but then took an emotional dive. I was thinking about my family and how I am not a part of their lives any more. I guess it doesn't help that they live half way across the country. I am 76 days sober and am not going to drink. It's just not an option. I don't want to feel any worse than I am already feeling. My wish is that some day they will not look at me like some kind of mutant creature from outer space. I don't really want to fly home because there are just too many triggers there. I am feeling like I just don't have a family any more. Sucks. Tomorrow is another day. Someone was mentioning p.a.w.s and I'm there. I want to make these feelings go away but the only thing I can do now is put it out there. Love to all at SR.

Well JBird,

Sorry you are having to go through a rough time. Truth is even non-alkies go through these times. Our problem (IMO) is that alchohol seems like an answer..to shut off the feelings...for others it is being an A-hole..for others eating...for others being sick...

I find for me that trying to hang on to how things use to be is always a loosing proposition. Yeah...I wallow in it for a while, and it is a true sadness...but in the end...we all have to move on to where we are and go from there. One of the best things I heard from someone was "people come into our lives for a while and then they go". It sounds harsh...but it happens whether a lover, spouse or child, whether due to death, disassociation or anger.... I try to simply be grateful for what time I get to enjoy and I try to remember that there will be new relationships, and some relationships will heal. But mostly I need to focus on what I have, whether relationships or other things, today and appreciate what I have had.

That sounds pretty cold, but I have found that it serves me well to see life as ever changing. I morn my losses (sometimes for too long) and then I have to move on or miss all the other opportunities ahead. And, of course, there are always moments of regret, pain and fear about what I have lost....I just really try to remember that forever just means I die first...if that makes any since....

Best wishes to you (hug)

Sorry you're down JBird, and I'm glad you're not drinking. This too shall pass.

Sorry you are low . I get like that all too often. I have only been sober 3 weeks and it is tough. I use distraction techniques to get through the bad times and try to remember where alcohol finally took me so I don't slip back into old behaviour patterns. Good luck.