Funny Things My AV Said Today

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Old 04-23-2013, 10:47 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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Yesterday I opened the fridge to grab stuff for dinner and I noticed a bottle of root beer in there. My AV went bananas - I actually felt the sensation of drinking an ice cold beer.

Then I laughed and shook my head and thought, "wow, that was quite the visual." And I continued on with my dinner and an ice cold glass of water. Much better.
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Old 04-24-2013, 04:57 AM
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I visited a new restaurant complex and was told they have a champagne bar. AV perked up like a dog who has heard the can opener. I had to hurry away to another restaurant just to shut it up.
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Old 04-25-2013, 07:19 AM
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Has anyone's AV tried to trick you into thinking that something really scary will happen if you have to face life sober, so it might be better to keep reality at bay instead of facing the awful? What a ******* that voice is. I'm new to this, but now that I've identified my AV, I really get it!
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Old 04-25-2013, 07:27 AM
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Pay day.. Time to call the dealer. UGH. no.
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Old 04-25-2013, 08:13 AM
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Originally Posted by HML View Post
Has anyone's AV tried to trick you into thinking that something really scary will happen if you have to face life sober, so it might be better to keep reality at bay instead of facing the awful? What a ******* that voice is. I'm new to this, but now that I've identified my AV, I really get it!


I was prone to being very anxious in the evenings - especially if I had determined I was NOT going to drink that day. My AV would just keep telling me this evening is going to suck if you don't drink. There's nothing to do. You're going to feel miserable if you don't drink. More often than not, I would give in to IT.

Now that I know what a powerless little jerk my AV is, he doesn't bother me.
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Old 04-25-2013, 04:46 PM
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Mine decided to give me medical advice today. "Awwww, did you stay too long in the sun and get a little sunburned? You're feeling kind of tired, too, aren't you. Poor thing. You know what will fix that for you? A cold beer. Yep. I know it sounds crazy, but it's totally true. Lab-tested, beast-approved."
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Old 04-26-2013, 05:26 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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Mine is saying, "Declining alcohol will be so embarrassing, surely people will get curious and ask. One drink to 'pretend' that all is well and throw them off the scent won't hurt, will it?"
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Old 04-26-2013, 04:02 PM
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Today I went to the store to get a pack of ciggerates and my av said " grab one and one while your here kill two birds with one stone, you may need it later" ehhhhhhhh negative.. Pack of new ports and Marlboro lights a d I ran outta there.
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Old 04-26-2013, 07:59 PM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Omnom View Post
Pack of new ports and Marlboro lights
Do you smoke one of each at the same time?
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Old 04-27-2013, 05:19 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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Mine says "after you have the baby, a drink or two won't hurt... you will have been sober for well over a year by then. Haven't you proven you can control it?"

Ugh.
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Old 04-27-2013, 05:25 AM
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Like many addicts my thinking as far as pot goes: it's legal in some states so it mustn't be addictive. See all these years pot's gotten a bad rap. I've heard Colorado is a great place to visit.
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Old 04-27-2013, 07:21 AM
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"You are ridiculous to think that 30 hours of sobriety is some kind of accomplishment."

What a jerk.
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Old 04-27-2013, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Obladi View Post
"You are ridiculous to think that 30 hours of sobriety is some kind of accomplishment."

What a jerk.
What an a$$. 1 hour is accomplishment. I don't like your av lol
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Old 04-27-2013, 07:27 AM
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Originally Posted by DG0409 View Post

Do you smoke one of each at the same time?
Lol no.. Was getting a pack for my friend too.
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Old 04-27-2013, 08:01 AM
  # 95 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by 1stthingsfirst View Post
Mine is saying, "Declining alcohol will be so embarrassing, surely people will get curious and ask. One drink to 'pretend' that all is well and throw them off the scent won't hurt, will it?"
My AV has said this too. Since when did politely declining a drink become embarrassing and getting trashed become dignified?

The last two decades of my life were embarrassing, and not because I habitually declined drinks.
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Old 04-27-2013, 09:11 AM
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I have a sinus infection this morning as I was taking my DM cough med. I'm AV said "if you drink the whole bottle you will get a buzz.

How disguising would that have been.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:03 AM
  # 97 (permalink)  
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My av is being quiet today so far. I'm scared. It's plotting something.
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:06 PM
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The other day mine was looking at the empties while I was doing dishes (we had people over). I told it that it was as undignified as George Costanza eating an eclair out of the trash can. I poured the drinks in the sink and I could hear the AV screaming "Nooooo!" all the way down.
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Old 04-27-2013, 02:00 PM
  # 99 (permalink)  
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"Remember that time when you had it totally together; sober for over a month and getting fit? Remember how great it felt? You'll never be able to feel that again because you already felt it once. It's never as good as the first time."

(I guess my AV isn't much of a comedian yet, sorry. But I do know somewhere that it's a good sign it's beeing so nasty. I think it is worried I have gained enough strength to be indifferent to it's asinine reasoning,)
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Old 04-27-2013, 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Omnom View Post
My av is being quiet today so far. I'm scared. It's plotting something.
Aw, heck, Omnom. You are doing just great and fearing nothing, welcoming your new awesome life, confident in your new role as an active participant instead of a drunken observer sitting way up in the bleachers, whining and complaining.

AVs tend to get quiet for longer and longer periods, and even when they get mouthy again, so what. It can plot, it can scheme, it can wriggle and twist, but you are rock steady. Onward!
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